I'm Not Crazy
by tbenner12
Summary: Spencer Reid is a young mental ward patient at Bennington Sanitarium visited by the FBI about a murder that concerns him, unraveling his past. WARNINGS: Abuse  sexual, physical, mental, rape, self harm  don't like, don't read!
1. Chapter 1

"Spencer? Spencer, you have a visitor."

A young man with brown, limp curls hanging in front of his face looked up from the book he was reading to meet the face that owned the voice.

"A visitor? But who would possibly be visiting me?" Spencer scoffed, running his long, thin fingers through his messy hair.

"I'll take it from here, Doctor, thank you," a tall older man with raven hair and a stone cold expression on his face walked up behind the man who told Spencer of his presence.

"I'll be down the hall in the lobby if you need me," the doctor informed the man as he left him alone with Spencer.

"Spencer Reid?" Spencer nodded curtly, "I'm Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner with the FBI," the man said reaching his hand out to Spencer, which was waved off by the younger man.

"FBI? What does the FBI want with me?" Spencer asked, pushing himself out from his desk to face the man head on.

"May I sit down?" Agent Hotchner asked, indicating the edge of Spencer's bed.

"By all means," Spencer gestured at bed.

As Agent Hotchner settled down into his seat, Spencer asked again, "So, what does the FBI want with me?"

"It's about your father-"

Spencer scoffed, "I haven't seen that bastard in ten years. All he does for me is pay this place so I can stay here."

Spencer saw Agent Hotchner's expression soften a little and wasn't prepared for his next words, "He's been murdered, Spencer."

Agent Hotchner watched as Spencer's expression changed from annoyed to utter disbelief, "W-w-what? No… he just sent my monthly check last week," Spencer sprang from his seat, "why are you telling me and not my mother?"

"Well, you're younger and more in touch with reality than your mother is, and you're your father's next of kin," Agent Hotchner said, rising from his seat as well, "please, sit back down."

Spencer did as he was told. He sat back down, crossing one leg over the other and pulling himself into his own arms, hugging himself. After taking a deep breath and calming himself, Spencer asked, "But, both me and my mother are locked up in this place. What makes you think I'm anymore sane than she is?" Spencer's lips formed a mocking smirk.

"Either way, we have to inform someone from his family and since your grandparents are no longer among the living and your father was an only child…" Agent Hotchner looked to Spencer, making sure the boy understood him.

Spencer sighed, "Alright, I understand. So, what do you need from me exactly?"

"I need to know anything and everything about your father. Anything that can help us profile the man who killed him."

Spencer's head shot up and met the agent's eyes, "Profile? You're a profiler? Like the BAU, with David Rossi?"

Agent Hotchner eyed the boy curiously, "What do you know about the BAU and Agent Rossi?"

Spencer laughed excitedly and spun his chair towards his desk, "See for yourself," he said, placing the book he had been reading onto the Agent's lap, "I've read every single one of his books."

Aaron stared dumbfounded at the book that was resting on his legs. This was a book on profiling that his friend David Rossi had written. A young schizophrenic mental ward patient had read his books?

Spencer seemed to have understood the older man's confused expression, "Just because I'm ill doesn't mean I'm stupid and incapable of understanding what he writes about. I actually find the BAU quite intriguing."

Agent Hotchner looked at Spencer, "I never meant to offend you, I just haven't met many non-university students or professionals in either law enforcement or medical who are this interested in what we do."

"Trust me, agent, if my father hadn't sent me here, I would be studying to be an agent," Spencer's voice fell down to almost a whisper as he turned away from the agent.

Aaron looked at the young man, so innocent and hurt by his father, and he was here giving the news about his death, asking him to help find his killer. He almost felt despicable.

"Spencer, if you mind my asking, why did your father send you here?" Agent Hotchner's voice became soft, yet still professional.

Spencer glanced up at the man staring back at him. His big, almost black eyes seemed to be staring into his soul, "My mother was admitted when I was 14. She's been… unhinged ever since I can remember. One day, she just snapped. Our neighbors were concerned and the police were called. They held her in jail for a few days before they finally tracked down my god damn father. My father told them to just take her away, put her into an institution somewhere," Spencer paused and took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice from faltering, "They did a psych eval on her and she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and admitted here, Bennington Sanitarium. After that, I was alone. They told my father he had to take care of me, of course he didn't. He was scared that I would turn out like my mother. He avoided me but the doctors here assured him schizophrenia would not be apparent until I turned 18. Sure enough, on my 18th birthday, he had me admitted as well."

Other than the few pauses he took to contain himself, Spencer's explanation felt like a ramble to Agent Hotchner. He couldn't believe the young man could talk so fast.

"But were you ever actually diagnosed?" Aaron studied the young man. He was withdrawn, sure, but that was probably because they had him on some sort of medication. The way he was interacting with the agent showed no signs of schizophrenic behavior, even from one who was medicated.

Spencer shrugged, "They tested me. Told me I had signs of paranoia. But never actually said I had schizophrenia. But really, of course I'm going to be paranoid from having parents like mine. One got locked up because she's crazy and the other never gives me the time of day," Spencer looked up at the agent, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I'm complaining. You only want to do your job and I'm giving you a sob story," Spencer stared at his feet and rubbed his left arms with his right hand.

"No, no it's ok. You are actually helping, Spencer," Aaron smiled slightly at the young man, trying to comfort him.

"Really?" Spencer's head snapped up.

"Yes. But you have to tell me one thing… before you were admitted, what kind of drug did you get addicted to?"

Spencer stared at the man before realizing, duh, he's a profiler, "Dilaudid," he said, biting his lip.

Aaron nodded, "it kept off the pain, didn't it? The pain of being away from your mother. The pain of your father abandoning you."

"I get it, I'm in a lot of pain," Spencer retorted a little harshly before recoiling and ducking his head again, "sorry."

"No need to apologize," Aaron kept his voice calm and placed his hand on the young man's knee, "Spencer, I can't begin to imagine your past, but just know, here, now, you're safe. And I won't judge you."

The young man looked up and met Aaron's eyes and nodded, "so what do you have so far? Any other victims besides my father?" Spencer was eager to help and Agent Hotchner could tell.

"Two others. Both middle aged men like your father, both residents of the Las Vegas area. Both were divorced with children. That's all we have."

"Did you check to see if there was any unpaid child support? Or if the wives or children had mental illnesses? Signs of an abandoning father, essentially," Spencer asked the man.

Agent Hotchner stared at Spencer. He spoke so professionally and seemed to know what he was talking about.

"Spencer, did you finish high school after your mother left?" Aaron tilted his head.

"Before, actually," Spencer chuckled at the man's reaction, "I graduated at age 12 and was taking college classes when my mother was taken away. And before you ask, my IQ is 187."

"We could use a mind like yours down at the BAU," Agent Hotchner's voice dropped to a thoughtful tone before he sat in silence for a moment, "come on," he said, standing up quickly.

"Where are we going?" Spencer said, quickly jumping up and following the man.

"Excuse me, Doctor? Who do I speak to about checking out a patient?" Spencer's mouth dropped as he stared at the agent.

"Right this way, sir," the two men were whisked down the hall to a small office. The man who escorted them opened a filing cabinet and withdrew a file, "let's see… Spencer Reid… Only living family..." the man looked up at Spencer then to Aaron, "His only living family, as of today, is also a patient. Since he is over the age of 18, he has full responsibility for himself, if he passes a psych eval of course."

"Set one up straight away, we need this man as a consultant for the FBI in Quantico, Virginia."


	2. Chapter 2

"Agent Hotchner, are you sure about this?" Spencer asked as they were being led down the hall to the evaluation room.

"Spencer, if you are as smart as you say you are, then yes, I'm positive," Aaron answered the young man, briefly glancing in his direction.

"Right this way, Spencer. Before we begin, I will need you to read over this," the doctor directed Spencer to a room that looked like a therapist's office, handing him a packet of what Aaron guessed to be guidelines and precautions of some sort.

Spencer took the packet and guided his finger down the first page, before turning the page and continued to read the entire thing for what seemed like only a minute to Aaron.

"Okay, thank you," Spencer said, handing the packet back to the doctor.

Aaron stared in disbelief at Spencer then looked to the doctor who didn't seem fazed at all, "Did you actually read that whole thing?"

Spencer blushed and looked at the floor, "I can read 20,000 words a minute," he spoke just barely loud enough for Aaron to hear him.

"Have a seat, Spencer. Agent, I'll need you to step out and wait in the lobby, please," the doctor ushered Spencer into the room and shooed Aaron away.

888888888

Aaron found his way to the lobby and sat down, mulling over the events of his day. He had met a very extraordinary man. He had never met anyone with an IQ that high, or anyone who could read that fast. And graduating high school at age 12? That was just surreal to Aaron.

Just then, the agent's phone rang. Aaron quickly scrambled for it, as to not draw much attention to himself, "Hotchner," he stated in his agent voice.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out into the hall to take that call," a woman that Aaron figured to be an aid whispered to him.

"Sorry, ma'am, of course," Aaron quickly got up and walked out into the hall, "Can you repeat that, Morgan?" Aaron asked once he was out in the hall.

"Where are you, Hotch?" Aaron's colleague inquired.

"I'm still at Bennington. The kid of the latest victim is a genius and we could really use him on this case," Hotch explained somewhat excitedly.

"Hotch, the kid's locked up in an insane asylum. We can't take him in on the team," Morgan replied with disbelief.

"It's not an insane asylum, and he's here against his will. His father kept him here out of fear, Morgan. He's in getting a psych eval right now. If they clear him, I can bring him in on the case. Trust me, Morgan, we need him," Hotch fought with his co-worker, refusing to let him talk bad about Spencer.

"You may need him, but I don't just want some lunatic stranger coming in on my team," Morgan retorted.

"He is NOT a lunatic, Morgan!" Hotch had to struggle to keep from shouting, "He is the brightest man I have ever met and has the darkest past I've ever seen, yes even darker than yours, Derek," Hotch spat out spitefully, he couldn't take the rude comments being made at Spencer's expense. Morgan didn't know Spencer, he couldn't say a thing about him.

"Hotch, you've known the kid for an hour…" Hotch could tell Morgan was trying to control his temper.

"He talks fast," Hotch had to suppress a slight chuckle, "besides I'm a profiler, remember? I can tell things about a person."

"Fine, you have a point. But if this blows up in our faces, Hotch, you will be held responsible," Morgan made himself clear before he hung up the phone.

As he pocketed the phone, Hotch thought to himself, it won't blow up in our faces; this is going to be one of the greatest things in his time as an FBI agent.

88888888888

Hotch went back into the lobby and sat down, picking up a sports magazine. Hotch didn't really care much for sports but it kept him busy.

"Are you the man who's taking my Spencer away?" Hotch looked up to see a tall, thin, sickly blonde woman looking directly at him.

"I'm Diana Reid, Spencer's mother. I heard that an FBI agent was here to take my son with him," the woman said, sitting down across from Hotch.

"I'm Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, ma'am. I did speak with your son earlier, but he is not in trouble, I promise you. He is getting evaluated right now so he can come with my team to investigate a case we just got," Hotch tried to explain the situation as carefully and vaguely as possible to this woman.

Diana seemed to except this and nodded, "He's always wanted to be in the FBI. But I don't want my baby to get hurt," she said bringing her hand to her mouth.

"I promise you Mrs. Reid, nothing will happen to your son as long as I am around," Hotch reached out to place his hand on the woman's shoulder, but she jerked away.

"Thank you, Agent Hotchner, was it?" Diana thanked Hotch as she got up from her seat, "But if he dies…" Diana just shook her head, holding back tears as she quickly ran off.

Hotch could immediately tell the difference between Spencer and his mother. Similar non-contact ticks, but Spencer's wasn't as extreme. Diana has seemed more frail and distant than Spencer who kept engaged in conversation with Hotch. Diana definitely fit the profile of a schizophrenic, whereas Spencer only fit the profile of one who had been abused. But by who, Aaron wasn't quite sure yet.


	3. Chapter 3

About an hour later, Spencer walked into the lobby along with his Doctor.

"Spencer, you can go in your room and rest for a bit while I speak with Agent Hotchner," the doctor told the young man next to him.

"Anything you say to me you can say in front of Spencer," Hotch sternly told the doctor.

"No, it's alright. I just want to go read for a bit," Spencer half whispered as he backed up from the two older men in front of him, "just let me know when you're done talking," and with that, Spencer took off down the hall to his room.

After Spencer left them alone, the doctor took a seat across from Hotch. Hotch turned his attention the doctor, giving him a look to show he was ready for what he had to say.

"Well, Agent Hotchner, as I'm sure you've noticed, Spencer Reid is quite a remarkable young man."

"The most gifted I've ever met," Hotch slipped in.

"Yes, I agree. And I'm sure he told you all about his father admitting him and his mother?" the doctor shifted in his seat as Hotch nodded, "yes, sadly it's not the only time a family member has admitted loved one out of fear. It's a shame," the doctor paused for moment, staring at the fish tank above Hotch's shoulder, "But in his first psych evaluation four years ago, Spencer showed signs of paranoia, but not schizophrenia like his mother. With his father more than willing to pay us, and after hearing the tragic story of his father's behavior towards him, the rest of the staff and myself couldn't find it in our hearts to send the boy out on his own without any family."

"So you just kept him locked up here?" Hotch was slightly confused and becoming a tad irate.

"Locked up? This isn't a prison, Agent Hotchner," the doctor lightly scoffed.

"To a young man without a mental illness, I'd say being locked up in a Sanatorium is a pretty harsh punishment," trying to mask his annoyance, Hotch remained calm but never broke his stone face.

The doctor sighed and leaned in closer to the agent, lowering his voice, "We tried to talk his father into letting us release him, but he threatened to file a lawsuit against us," the doctor looked up at the agent and watched for his facial expression to change, but it never did, "plus, he keeps his mother company. The four years before he arrived, she was an absolute terror but after he joined her, he kept her under control, it was miraculous really."

This made Hotch's stone cold expression soften a bit, "So how did his evaluation go this time around?"

"Ah, yes, well…" the doctor said as he shifted through the papers he was carrying, "his paranoia is still apparent but definitely not as strong as it was four years ago. His self-worth has increased. It's still not high, but better than it was. He passed the general skills test with flying colors, in record timing I may add. And, uh, let's see…" he shifted through his papers, "he passed his social situations test as well. My only concern, Agent Hotchner, is that I am not sure of his confidence level. Bringing an unconfident man into the FBI… sounds a tad risky," the doctor leaned back in his chair and waited for the agent to respond.

Hotch stared at the doctor thoughtfully, pondering all that he was just told about this special young man he met hours before, "He will be under my instruction the entire time and I will not let him out of my sight. His mind is what I need, what my team needs," Hotch said matter-of-factly.

Now it was the doctor's turn to think, "Well agent Hotchner… I think what you are doing could be useful for this young man. I have grown very fond of him and would love for him to see the world," the doctor took in a deep breath and slowly let it out, "Alright. I am going to need you to fill out this form stating that you will be responsible for this man while he is under your care."

Trying to hide his satisfaction, Hotch sat up and accepted the form before looking it over.

88888888888

"Spencer? Are you ready to go?" Hotch poked his head into Spencer's room. The young man was curled up on his bed with a book in his hands, "Spencer?"

"What was that?" Spencer snapped back to reality, "Oh, agent Hotchner," Spencer sighed with relief as he sat up on his bed, closing the book.

"I asked if you were ready," Hotch couldn't help but smirk as he saw Spencer's eyes grow ten times their original size.

"I-I-I can go?" Spencer asked excitedly as he jumped to his feet. With a nod from Hotch, Spencer ran to his wardrobe and began grabbing clothes and tossing them into the bag he had set out on his bed earlier.

"For someone who wasn't sure of the idea, you seem pretty excited," Hotch smirked as he watched the 22 year old trip over himself excitedly like a toddler.

Spencer bent over to zip up his bag, hiding his embarrassment from the older man, "Well, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity Agent Hotchner," Spencer chuckled nervously as he slung his bad over his shoulder and walked towards the door.

"Please," Hotch looked at the young man as they started down the hall, "Call me Hotch."


	4. Chapter 4

**UPDATES**

**I understand some of you are concerned I don't understand "schizophrenia" believe me, I do. My grandmother is a paranoid schizophrenic. I am just dancing around explaining what it is because I want to get to the story and not have to dwell on it, so bear with me. Also, I know how Sanatoriums work, but this is FICTION and it will not be 100% accurate, thank you (: **

**There will be discussions about abuse of multiple kinds including: physical, mental, sexual, and drug abuse.**

**There will be slash in later chapters. I am not sure how long this story will be, I have the story in my head but putting it into words is something different.**

"There you are, Hotch! About God damned time!" a large, muscular dark-skinned man half chuckled as Spencer and Hotch walked into the station.

"Morgan!" a pale-skinned woman with raven hair shot the larger man a look. She turned to Spencer, smiling, and reached out her hand, "Hi, I'm Emily Prentiss. You must be Spencer."

Spencer smiled but waved off Emily's hand as he had done to Hotch's earlier. Emily pulled back her hand and looked up to Hotch. He gave her a slight nod and a look that told her to just ignore the gesture.

Emily walked over to Morgan and elbowed him in the stomach, "mph, and I'm Derek Morgan. Welcome to our team, for the time-being of course."

A slender blonde woman came trotting up behind Morgan and smacked him in the back of the head with a file she was holding.

"Hi, sweetheart, I'm Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ," the woman began to reach out her hand, but stopped when Emily shot her a glance.

Spencer nodded shyly then seemed to gain composure, "It's nice to meet you all," he flashed a quick smile before fading behind Hotch again.

"So, Hotch, Garcia ran the victims' records again, and seems Spencer was right. The first victim walked out on the family eight years ago when the children were 6 and 10," JJ said handing the file she was holding over to Hotch.

"And the other victim?" Spencer looked at JJ but quickly looked away when she raised her brows at him.

"Unpaid child support from a divorce nine years ago," JJ answered softly.

"Had he seen the kids since then?" Spencer channeled together all of the confidence he had and looked JJ in the eyes this time.

"No," JJ shook her head, a sympathetic smile forming on her lips.

"Great work, Spencer!" Hotch patted Spencer lightly on the back, causing the young man to wince, "oh, sorry," Hotch apologized as he saw Spencer's face.

Spencer just waved it off, "so any theories on who would do this?" He looked around the room at the others.

"Well so far, other than the common child neglect we haven't found anything that connects the victims. But Garcia is working on it," JJ answered.

Spencer nodded at JJ as Hotch handed the case file over to him, "I trust you with this. Do you think you can look through it and see if any of the other victims seem familiar to you? That may have been connected to your father?" Hotch asked gently.

Spencer nodded again as he took the file from Hotch and sat down next to Morgan.

The rest of the team looked on as Spencer quickly scanned through each page in the folder. Spencer jerked up his head causing the others to look around the room nonchalantly.

"You recognize something?" Hotch asked, moving closer to Spencer.

Spencer dropped his head again, "I-I-I thought I did… but I can't quite place it," he said as he stared at a picture of one of the victim's family. There was the victim, his wife at the time, and their two children, one boy and one girl.

"Maybe a friend you used to have? At least one of them is around your age," JJ asked as she sat herself across from Spencer.

Spencer shook his head, "It's gone. I don't remember, sorry," Spencer avoided eye contact with the team, afraid that he had let them down.

Hotch nodded at his team, dismissing them. Spencer needed to be alone; all these people were too much for someone who hasn't had much social interaction in four years.

As the rest of his team left, Hotch looked at Spencer, "I'm going to go get some coffee. Would you like some?"

Spencer nodded and smiled at Hotch, "Thanks."

As Hotch walked away, Spencer stared at the family picture again. That boy. He looked about 9 in this picture. He looked all too familiar to Spencer but he just couldn't figure out why.

An image of the boy flashed through Spencer's memory. He was a tad younger than he was in the picture. He was playing outside on a sidewalk. He had a stick and he was brandishing it at his sister. A woman came into the scene as she slapped the stick out the boy's hand. The woman grabbed the boy's arm and dragged him into a building.

Spencer's memory faded. He couldn't remember what building that was or why either of them had been there.

Spencer flipped over the picture and saw the names scrawled on the back of it. TIMOTHY, AGE 9 was written on the back along with the other family members' names and ages. Had he known a Timothy? He hadn't been in school with children his own age since he was 8, but according to the date on the back of the picture, Timothy would have been 2 years younger than Spencer.

Spencer sighed and placed the photo aside. He flipped through the folder until he found the other victim's family photo. This family only had one child, a boy. Spencer wasn't sure if he recognized the boy, the photo was much older and the boy was only a toddler. Sighing, Spencer flipped over the photo. No names or dates.

Slumping back in his chair, Spencer ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

_You knew the entire alphabet when you were 2, memorized the complete multiplication table when you were 4, entered high school at age 10 and graduated at age 1. You can read 20,000 words per minute and you have an IQ of 187. Why can't you remember who this boy was?_

Spencer was mentally beating himself up over not remembering the boy. He felt like he had let the team down. Let Hotch down.

"Spencer? Spencer! What are you doing?" Spencer heard Hotch yell and looked up just as Hotch threw himself on the young man.

Terrified, Spencer looked at Hotch, then down at his own hands. Somehow through all his frustration he had dug his finger nails into his right wrist, causing blood to stream down his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer just sat in shock as he watched Hotch frantically wipe up the blood coming from his own body. Hotch threw off his jacket and wrapped it around Spencer's arm tightly.

"Spencer? Spencer, look at me," Hotch was just a blur to Spencer as he tried to focus his eyes, "Spencer, are you alright?" Hotch didn't wait for a response, "come on, we need to get you to the hospital."

Spencer was still clouded as he felt the older man lift him to his feet and rush him to the door. The next thing Spencer knew he was sitting in the passenger seat of Hotch's SUV, the same one they had arrived in at the station just an hour ago.

Spencer looked over at Hotch. The man was focused on the road and driving almost frantically. Spencer just couldn't look away from him. He looked genuinely concerned, an expression Spencer had never seen directed at himself before, not even from his own mother who was too absorbed in her own mind to care.

"Hotch…" Spencer almost whispered, his mouth dry.

Hotch jerked his head towards the younger man, he held his gaze for a moment before turning back to the road, "Spencer… why?"

Spencer looked down at his knees as he felt his throat begin to tighten, signaling he was about to cry, "I-I-I didn't mean to… I didn't know… until… you," Spencer choked out through the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes, "I'm sorry."

Hotch turned his attention back to Spencer, concern replaced with confusion, "Why are you apologizing? You couldn't help it, you said. I'm not mad at you Spencer, just concerned is all. I promised your mother I'd take care of you. And so far I've let her down. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me."

Spencer just continued staring at his knees. He couldn't look at the man sitting next to him. No matter what he said, Spencer knew he had disappointed him. How could he not have? He was a disappointment to everybody.

Hotch could tell Spencer was in no condition to talk to him just yet, so he let him be for the rest of the ride to the hospital.

8888888888888888888888888

"Yeah, he's fine. The doctor gave him some medicine to sedate him for a while… I don't know yet. But I do know he is the only one who can truly help us figure this out."

Spencer could hear Hotch speaking to someone, whether it was on the phone or in person, Spencer couldn't tell as he floated in and out of consciousness.

"The doctor said we can go after he wakes up and they check on him real quick… I'll probably take him back to the hotel for the night. Looks like he's waking up now…. Alright, thanks JJ," Hotch hung up his cell phone and walked over to Spencer's hospital bed and sat down next to him, "How you feeling?" Hotch asked as Spencer's eyes fluttered briefly.

After he got his eyes open and focused, Spencer looked at Hotch, "What happened?"

"What do you last remember?" Hotch sat forward in his seat, so he was right next to Spencer.

"We were in the SUV. My arm was bleeding. I accidentally scratched it too hard." Spencer mumbled as he lifted his arm to get a look at it.

Hotch reached across Spencer and gently pushed his arm back down onto the bed and nodded, "Yes. Once we got to hospital, you wouldn't budge out of the car so I had to carry you into the emergency room. The doctors were in a frenzy once they saw your arm."

"Why did they sedate me?" Spencer blinked up at Hotch.

Hotch looked down at the floor, "You wouldn't let anyone but me touch you. You lashed out at the nurses and the doctors who tried to help. They didn't have much of a choice, really."

Spencer let this sink in. He looked back up at Hotch with worry in his eyes, "Are… are they gonna make me go back to Bennington now?"

Hotch looked at Spencer and shook his head, "I took care of it. I explained it was an accident and you were just suffering from traumatic stress. No harm done," Hotch patted Spencer's good arm and smiled at the young man. He just looked so fragile laying there, his arm wrapped in bandages and wires connected to his body.

"Ah, Spencer. Finally awake?" a man in a lab coat walked into the room.

"Yes… I'm sorry if I hurt you before," Spencer said shyly.

"Oh, no harm done, I'm used to it by now in my line of work. You are not the first patient to lash out," the doctor reassured Spencer as he walked towards the machines Spencer was attached to, "your heartbeat is stable, blood pressure looks good. Let's take your temperature."

Spencer allowed the doctor to stick the thermometer in his mouth and waited patiently for it to beep.

"Temperature is normal. Now, since you've been asleep for about 4 hours, I'm going to need to replace your bandages before I send you off, ok?" the doctor looked to Spencer for confirmation to which he received a slight nod.

The doctor began to unwrap Spencer's arm, slowly revealing the gashes beneath. Spencer gasped. Had he really done that much damage in such a short time? The lines were jagged and deep, the skin raw surrounding the cuts. He jerked his head away, he couldn't look at it.

Hotch took Spencer's hand in his to reassure him. Spencer looked up at Hotch and smiled slightly.

"Okay, you're all set. Agent Hotchner here filled out the paperwork while you were out, we just need your signature and you're free to go," the doctor handed Spencer his clipboard and a pen.

After Spencer scrawled his signature on the paper, Hotch helped Spencer sit up in the bed before letting him get down.

Slowly, Spencer swung his bare feet to the edge of the bed and lowered them onto the cold tile floor, "Clothes?" he asked as he noticed he was only in a hospital gown.

Hotch reached over to the small table he had set Spencer clothes on, "I got them out of your bag, your other clothes were stained with blood," Hotch confirmed as he handed over a pair of pants and a clean shirt Spencer hadn't been wearing before, "Do you need me to leave the room?"

Spencer shook his head as he pried the gown off. Clumsily, he started slipping on his pants, but stumbled sideways. He caught himself on the bed and pushed himself back up, revealing his back to Hotch who gasped.

They had ushered him out the room before when they were dressing Spencer in his gown. He hadn't seen the faded scars covering Spencer's back. Scars that Hotch had become all too familiar with in his line of work.

As soon as he heard the older man gasp, Spencer bit his lip, he forgot about those damn scars. Hotch was never going to let this go. Quickly, Spencer grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, "Ready?" Spencer smiled as he turned towards the agent.

Hotch swallowed hard, tears threatening to come into his eyes, "Shoes," he managed to choke out.

Spencer chuckled nervously as he sat down and pulled on his shoes. Standing back up, he smiled at Hotch and waved to the door. Hotch decided to drop it until they were alone and followed the young man out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer climbed into the SUV, followed shortly by Hotch. After getting in, Hotch slammed the door behind him. With a disgruntled sigh, Hotch slammed his hands on the steering wheel, causing Spencer to jump.

"Who did that to you Spencer? Was it your father?" Hotch nearly shouted into the steering wheel.

Spencer bit his lip and looked away from the grown man that was beginning to cry in front of him "It doesn't matter. It happened a long time ago," Spencer managed to mumble.

Hotch shot up his head and looked at Spencer, "It doesn't matter? Spencer, someone physically and mentally harmed you, scarring you for life. I'd say that does matter!"  
>Spencer didn't like to be yelled at. He shot his head up and stared at Hotch, "What do you care? You're just a god damned FBI agent who is using me for my brain! I heard you on the phone. I got hurt and all you care about is me helping you with this case!" Spencer was fuming.<p>

Hotch just stared back at the young man who really had come to mean something to him in this past day. He didn't deserve the life he had been given. He deserved so much more. He was worth more than those scars on his back and the lies of fear and hatred in his brain.

Before Hotch could stop himself, he lunged himself forward and grabbed Spencer's face, crashing his lips on to the younger man's.

Spencer's eyes popped open wide as he was kissed by this older man. _Where the hell had that come from? _Spencer wasn't sure about any of this. With his good hand, he reached forward and pushed Hotch off of him.

"What the Hell was that?" Spencer shouted.

Shit. Why did he just do that? Aaron couldn't think straight. He had only known this man for a day. But there was just something about this poor tortured young man that drew Hotch to him. He wanted to save him, show him he was worth more than he had been put through his entire life.

Hotch thought hard and swallowed, "I was showing you 'why I care'," Hotch said as he put the keys in the ignition and started the car.

Spencer just stared at the older man. _What did he mean? Surely the man wasn't in love with him. _Nothing like that had ever happened to Spencer, getting what he wanted; life just didn't work that way for him.

Spencer looked down at his feet before looking back at Hotch, who was pulling out of the hospital parking lot, "you haven't… developed feelings for me…. Have you?" Spencer shrank back in his seat, expecting the worse.

Hotch stared at the road for a while, mulling over Spencer's question. About 5 minutes had passed before Hotch finally answered, "I have certainly developed and attachment to you. What kind of feelings that attachment includes…. I'm still trying to figure that out for myself."

Spencer couldn't figure it out. He and this man had talked for 2 hours at the Sanatorium. He had waited for another hour for him to get evaluated. He drove 30 minutes with him to the station. They were at the station for an hour before he got hurt. They rode 10 minutes to the hospital. Hotch had stayed with him for 4 hours while he lay there unconscious. They had only known each other for nine hours at most and this man had just kissed him.

"Is this how it usually works?" Spencer asked innocently, clutching his arms to his body.

Hotch quickly looked over at Spencer before turning back to the road, "How what works?"

"Falling in love with someone. Only knowing them for no more than nine hours than all of a sudden kissing them. I've never been in love or had feelings for anyone. So… is it… normal?" Spencer shyly asked.

Hotch had to laugh at just how adorable and innocent Spencer was, "well, with love, there is no such thing as 'normal' it's different for everyone. With my late wife Hayley… I'd say…. Yes, it's normal."

"Being married to a woman then kissing another man… is THAT normal?" Spencer just couldn't understand what was happening. He had been cut off from the world during a vital time in his life.

Hotch shook his head, "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

8888888888888888888888888

Spencer sighed as he plopped down on the bed. He was still pretty worn out from the drugs the doctor had given him.

"Damn it," Spencer heard Hotch curse under his breath.

"What?" Spencer popped up his head.

"I asked for 2 beds… they only gave us one. The rest of the team got single rooms, and they don't have any more vacancies," Hotch said, looking around the room.

"I can sleep on the floor," Spencer volunteered as he sat up on the bed.

"Forget it. There's no way you're doing that," Hotch replied to the suggestion.

"Well I'm not going to let you do it either then," Spencer retorted, "I don't want special treatment just because I'm a whack job."

Hotch whipped his head around so fast, Spencer jumped a little, "You are NOT a whack job. I don't want to hear you say anything like that ever again, got it?" Hotch stared at Spencer, who stared back with wide eyes and nodded.

"You're still not sleeping on the floor," Spencer mumbled under his breath.

Hotch laughed and sat down on the bed next to Spencer, "Sorry for snapping. But please, don't put yourself down like that; you are worth so much more."

Spencer smiled a little before staring at his feet and twiddling his thumbs.

The two men sat in silence for a moment before Spencer finally spoke up, "it was my dad who beat me," he continued to stare at the floor for a moment.

Hotch looked up when Spencer spoke. He was thankful he was finally talking to him about it.

Spencer took a deep breath before continuing, "Before he left us, he tried to beat the sickness out of me. Anytime I'd do anything that wasn't 'normal' he'd whip me with a belt. Or burn me with a cigarette," Spencer pulled up his left sleeve to reveal small round circles imprinted on his skin, "My mom never noticed…. He left when I was about 12. Right after I graduated. I told myself it was because he was ashamed of himself and couldn't handle to see me after the horrible thing he had done," Spencer stared at his scars.

Thing. Not things. But thing. Hotch looked at Spencer trying to figure out what he had meant.

"Spencer… what 'thing' did your father do to you?" Hotch asked gently, reaching for the young man's sleeve, to pull it back over his burn scars.

Spencer bit his lip to prevent himself from crying but it didn't work. He started sobbing uncontrollably, burying his face into his shirt.

Hotch wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulder and pulled him closer, allowing Spencer to bury his head into his shoulder. Hotch brought his other arm around Spencer, pulling him into a hug.

They sat like that for what seemed like nearly a half hour. But Hotch didn't care.

Finally collecting himself again, Spencer wiped his face with his sleeve and sat up, pulling himself out of Hotch's hug.

He looked Hotch right in the eyes and the look was returned. Spencer sighed and closed his eyes before looking at Hotch again.

"He raped me."


	7. Chapter 7

Hotch stared at Spencer for what felt like an eternity to Spencer. But it was really only a minute.

"What?" Hotch finally managed to croak out, "You were… sexually abused by your father… a man much older than you… and then I forced a kiss on you," it all started to connect in Hotch's mind, "oh, Spencer, I am so sorry! I'm such a bastard! I can't believe I did that to you."

Spencer couldn't stand to see Hotch like this, "Hotch, Hotch! It's ok. It's different with you," Spencer calmly told the agent, watching Hotch's expression lighten, "All that man ever did was beat me. He used me because my mother was too far gone to 'help' him with what he needed. But you, Hotch, all you have done for me is shown me that someone cares. You are not a bastard," Spencer said, taking Hotch's hand in his.

Hotch let this sink in for a moment, "Thank you… um… how many people know about… your father?" Hotch shifted on the bed as he went back to the uncomfortable topic.

Spencer swallowed before saying, "You."

Hotch looked at the young man wide-eyed, "Not your mother? Not CPS? Not your Doctors?"

Spencer shrugged, "Just you. Of course I knew what had happened. I was 12; I had just started puberty, so I was well aware. I just didn't feel the need to bother my mother with it; she wouldn't have known what to do. She probably would have killed him then and there. I was graduating soon, so it seemed pointless to tell any teachers. He left a month after he did it though, so I was safe," Spencer's breathing became short as he rambled, explaining his actions to Hotch.

"Spencer, calm down," Hotch set his hand on Spencer's knee.

Spencer nodded and took a deep breath, "and 6 years heals signs of sexual abuse pretty well. While the doctors obviously found my back scars… they wouldn't have figured out the rest even if they looked. But of course my doctors already had records of my abuse."

Hotch looked up at this, "Did you tell them upon entering the Sanatorium?"

Spencer shook his head, "No, they already knew, it was in my file. I had visited a child psychiatrist when I was 8," Spencer's head suddenly snapped up, "Hotch, do you have that case file?"

"Yeah, I grabbed it before we went to the hospital," Hotch said, getting up from the bed and walking over to his bag.

He pulled out the file and handed it over to Spencer before sitting back down next to him, "Think you found something?"

"Maybe," Spencer bit his lip as he flipped through the papers.

He stopped when he found the family picture that included the young Timothy boy. Spencer looked at the picture again, thinking about his therapy sessions from his childhood.

"_Timothy MacDonald, you get inside right now! I don't want to hear it!" _Spencer heard the words swim through his head. The memory of the young boy and his mother reentered Spencer's mind. Spencer watched as Timothy, his sister, and his mother walked into the building together. It felt like he was following them into the building. He looked to his right and saw his mother was holding his hand tightly as they walked into the building. The five of them entered what appeared to be a doctor's office lobby filled with toys and books.

"_Spencer! Come play with me!" _Spencer heard Timothy's small voice shout at him.

"Spencer? Spencer? Come back to me!" Hotch shook Spencer, pulling him back to present day.

Spencer looked up at Hotch, "I think Timothy and I went to the same psychologist," Spencer said excitedly, "but… sometimes childhood memories get altered by our minds so really I could be just imagining this," Spencer shrugged.

"Don't second guess yourself, Spencer," Hotch reassured the young man, caressing his face with the back of his hand.

Spencer sighed and threw himself back onto the bed, "I still don't recognize the other boy. This is probably just a coincidence or my mind wants it to be true, but it's not."

Hotch lied down next to the younger man, turning on his side to face him, "Spencer. You have an IQ of 187. You can read 20,000 words per minute. You graduated high school at the age of 12. You are the smartest man I have ever met and you are only 22 years old. Don't second guess yourself for a minute," Hotch cupped Spencer's face in his right hand and moved his thumb around his cheek in gentle circles.

"I just don't want to be wrong… Give me some time to think on it before telling the team, please?" Spencer pleaded.

"Of course. But by tomorrow, okay?" Hotch chuckled.

Spencer nodded.

The two men lay there in silence for a good 15 minutes before Spencer finally piped up, "When I was a teenager… I noticed that I was never sexually attracted to anyone. Not girls, not guys. People sure found me attractive though," Spencer chuckled as he remembered the numerous prostitutes he had been propositioned by over his teenage years. And the gay men he would pass by around town, "I've always been afraid that my father ruined me from ever loving someone… or from anyone ever loving me," Spencer felt like he was talking to the ceiling; he hadn't broken eye contact with it the entire time.

He continued to stare up in silence until he finally decided to look at Hotch. He turned to look at the older man who was just staring back at him.

"You're not ruined, Spencer," Hotch sighed, "just damaged."

Spencer sighed, "Please… I'm a disaster. No one can love this," Spencer waved down at his body, "they'd have to be crazier than me."

"You're one hell of a beautiful disaster and I must be a raving lunatic," Hotch caressed Spencer's face again.

Hotch wasn't sure what was coming over him, all he knew was that he felt sympathy for the boy and wanted him to feel of worth in this world for once in his life.

Spencer bit his lip, "What if I can't love you back? I mean, my father-"

"To Hell with your father! He's definitely there right now, I can tell you that," Hotch couldn't stand to hear of that despicable man anymore, "He can't hurt you anymore."

"I-I just want to know, I guess. I just want to know if I truly am broken beyond repair," Spencer looked at Hotch and thought for a moment, "could- I mean- would… you…" Spencer trailed off, unsure of the response he'd receive.

"Spencer, if you're not ready… you don't have to do this now. Like you said, we've only known each other for less than a day," Hotch finished Spencer's unfinished thought.

"But I need to know, Hotch!" Spencer threw his head back into the pillow like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Why is it so important to you?" Hotch asked, concerned.

Spencer sighed, "Because I don't want to end up like my mother."


	8. Chapter 8

"End up like your mother?" Hotch repeated the end of Spencer's sentence back to him.

"She's ruined. She told me herself. She can never love again. Seeing how lonely she is everyday kills me. I have never been in love but I know I don't want to go on miserable like my mother," Spencer talked fast, trying to fight off the tears.

"Spencer…" Hotch's voice faded.

Spencer turned his head to look at the older man. The younger man had tears streaming down his face.

Gently, Hotch lifted his hand to Spencer's face and wiped the tears away. He let his hand linger on the man's face as Spencer's lips curled into a light smile.

Slowly, Hotch lowered his lips onto Spencer's, kissing him gently. This time Spencer allowed it and returned the kiss, opening his mouth to give Hotch's tongue entry.

Hotch told himself he was going to do enough to guide Spencer but didn't want to dominate over him. He wanted him to enjoy this and know that he was loved.

As he continued kissing the man, Spencer felt not only needed but wanted; a feeling that was completely foreign to him.

Spencer's breathing slowed as he continued kissing the older man. There was not a thought in his brain except for this man right here right now.

Slowly, Spencer lifted his good arm and placed his hand on Hotch's chest, feeling it rise and fall with Hotch's steady breathing. Spencer's long nimble fingers began to fumble with Hotch's buttons blindly.

Hotch's lips parted as he chuckled into Spencer's mouth, amused by the young man's eagerness.

When Spencer had Hotch's shirt half unbuttoned, Hotch placed his hand over Spencer's and pulled his head back to look at the young man.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked, knowing he wanted this but not wanting the young man to so something he may regret.

Spencer nodded, but after seeing Hotch's concerned look, breathed, "I'm sure."

Hotch nodded and went back to kissing the young man.

After he had Hotch's shirt completely unbuttoned, Spencer pulled on the shirt, pulling Hotch into a sitting position and himself onto his knees.

With Spencer's help, Hotch shrugged off his shirt and threw it onto the floor.

Without breaking their kiss, Hotch grabbed the bottom of Spencer's shirt and gently pulled it over his bandages and his head before tossing it towards his own.

"Now… I don't want you to do anything you are not comfortable with. Any moment you feel uncomfortable or pain, please… let me know, and I'll stop" Hotch pulled Spencer out of their kiss to look at him.

Spencer nodded and lay down on the bed. He wanted this. He didn't want his father to win. He wanted to prove to himself and his father, if he could see him now, that he did not own him. That he could love and be loved by someone who wanted him for more than just his body.

Hotch took in a deep breath and released it before lowering himself down onto his lover, kissing him gently on the lips before lightly trailing his lips down Spencer's jawline, neck and then chest. The young man gasped and jerked suddenly beneath Hotch. Hotch quickly stopped and looked up. Spencer just nodded at him to continue. Hotch unbuckled Spencer's belt and carefully slipped off his pants, revealing a growing bulge inside his underpants.

Hotch placed gentle kisses along Spencer's waist as he gently pulled off the man's briefs, revealing Spencer's half hard member.

He was nervous and scared out his mind, but obviously turned on, Hotch could tell.

Hotch slowly took Spencer into his mouth, wanting him to enjoy this. Spencer gasped as Hotch began slowly bobbing his head up and down, swirling his tongue around his prick. Hotch's fingers caressed Spencer's thighs as he moved his mouth around Spencer's member.

Spencer's hands were firmly gripping the blanket underneath him. He gasped and bucked his hips into the air as Hotch sucked in deeply.

"h-h-Hotch," Spencer breathed out. Hotch popped Spencer out of his mouth and gently stroked him with his hand, looking into the younger man's eyes.

"You ok?" Hotch needed reassurance that he wasn't harming the fragile creature.

Spencer nodded and Hotch continued to stroke him.

"You. Pants. Off," Spencer managed to breathe out.

Hotch quickly undid his belt and threw off his pants and boxers, revealing his fully engorged length.

Hotch look at Spencer and saw a hint of fear in his eyes as he saw how large Hotch was. Spencer caught his look and nodded, "It's ok. I can do this."

"Spencer, don't force yourself," Hotch told the young man, even though he so badly wanted this.

"I have to do this Hotch," Spencer said, reaching his arms up and around Hotch's neck, pulling him down into a kiss.

Hotch was in no mood to argue, oh he was far beyond it. Hotch bent over the side of the bed and found his bag. He dug around in it before pulling out his prize; a bottle of lotion.

"Now, I don't want to do this like he did. I want this to be special," Hotch reassured Spencer as he squirted the liquid onto his fingers.

Spencer nodded as he grabbed Hotch's hand and guided it to his hole. He knew Hotch wasn't going to do it without his approval.

Hotch smirked and looked at Spencer, receiving a nod. Hotch gently slid one finger inside Spencer causing him to clench tightly and gasp. Hotch froze and looked at Spencer who had thrown his head back.  
>Sensing Hotch's reluctance, Spencer slowly nodded his head, urging Hotch on.<p>

Hotch let out a relieved breath. Slowly, he began moving his finger around inside Spencer before adding a second finger and then a third, each time checking on Spencer, making sure he was not in pain.

Spencer lowered his head and looked at Hotch. He held his gaze for a moment before nodding, "I'm ready."

Hotch pulled out his fingers and squirted lotion onto his cock before he slowly lined himself up. He took Spencer's hand into his own, pulling it to his lips and placing a kiss on it. Spencer took his other hand and caressed Hotch's stubbly face. He bit his lip and nodded, ready for Hotch to take him.

Spencer took in a deep breath and Hotch slowly pushed into him. Spencer gasped sharply, freezing Hotch in his tracks.

"Move," Spencer commanded, his eyes squinted shut in pain.

Hotch did as he was instructed, moving slowly in and out allowing Spencer to get used to him.

Spencer began to relax and opened his eyes to look at Hotch. Hotch looked back at him as he continued to move in and out of Spencer.

"Faster," Spencer whispered, still holding Hotch's gaze.

Hotch did as he was told and watched as the younger man began to obviously enjoy himself. Spencer writhed underneath Hotch and panted, pushing himself against Hotch.

"Hotch!" Spencer began to chant his name as he pushed into him harder and harder. Spencer bit his lip and screamed as his balls tensed up and he shot himself all over Hotch's chest.

That did it for Hotch, he growled as he spilled into the younger man, collapsing on top of him.

After catching his breath, Hotch pulled out of Spencer and lay down next to him. He took his hand and wiped the sweat from the young man's brow.

"So… are you ruined?" Hotch asked, half joking, but yet still genuinely concerned that the young man be confident.

Spencer smiled at Hotch and laughed before shaking his head, "Thank you," Spencer lifted his head up and kissed Hotch before burying himself into Hotch's arms and falling fast asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hotch!... Hotch!... HOTCH!" Spencer and Hotch were pulled awake by the sound of Morgan yelling and pounding on the door.

Hotch rolled out of the bed and pulled on his boxers and pants and went to answer the door.

"Yes?" Hotch smiled sarcastically as he opened the door to Morgan.

"We have to head to the station, now. We need an update on the kid. Is he gonna be able to help or not?" Morgan asked somewhat agitated.

Hotch looked behind him at Spencer for confirmation. Spencer sleepily nodded and pulled the covers over his head.

Hotch turned back around to Morgan, "Yeah, we'll meet you at the station as soon as we are ready."

Morgan nodded and craned his neck to try and peer inside the room. He looked back at Hotch with a raised eyebrow, "You guys only got one bed?"

"It was all they had left," Hotch shrugged.

Morgan nodded and turned down the hall to leave.

Hotch shut the door and walked back to the bed and sat down.

Spencer pulled the blanket back down over his face and looked up at Hotch, "Morning," he mumbled.

"Morning," Hotch placed a kiss on Spencer's forehead, "come on, get up. We have to get to the station."

Spencer nodded and kicked the blankets off, revealing his naked body. He bent over to retrieve his briefs, exposing his scarred back. Upon the site of the marks, Hotch winced. He crawled across the bed and rubbed Spencer's back gently, "You feeling alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Hotch asked.

Spencer shook his head, "No, you didn't hurt me," he smiled up at Hotch.

"Why did you want to do that so badly?" Hotch asked.

Spencer sighed, "Bringing up all those things from my past just reminded me of what happened. I couldn't live with the thought of my father having something of me that no one else had. And… I never met anyone who's cared for me as much as you. I don't know how much longer you're gonna be here. I just needed you to know you've earned my trust," Spencer looked up at Hotch.

Hotch smiled and placed a kiss on Spencer's cheek, "I'll be here as long as I can. Come on, we should change your bandages."

88888888888888888888888

"About time," Morgan chuckled as the two men walked into the station.

"Morning, everybody. Spencer thinks he thought of something to help with the case," Hotch announced as they strolled in.

"I believe that Timothy and I went to the same child psychologist when we were kids. I can't remember the doctor's name off hand though. Dr. Martin I think," Spencer said confidently.

"You got that, Garcia?" Emily had been talking to Garcia on her laptop.

"Loud and clear, Mini Genius," Garcia answered as she began typing furiously, "ah, yes, young Spencer Reid was one 8 year old patient of Dr. James Martin. 6 year old Timothy MacDonald was also a patient at the time. And our third victim's son, James Green was a patient when he was 7."

James Green. And image of a small blonde boy with sparkling blue eyes popped into Spencer's mind. He was playing with the cars with Timothy. The two boys were trying to get Spencer to join them, but his mother wouldn't let go of his hand.

"All three of you were there because you each had problems in the home because of your fathers," Garcia spoke to Spencer.

Spencer nodded, "So other than going to the same psychologist, we each had neglectful fathers who may have been abusive as well who all ended up walking out on us. Who would that matter to?" Spencer scratched his head, trying to think.

"Maybe someone else who attended the same doctor?" Emily offered.

"There was only one other patient who had appointments scheduled around the same time as these three boys. Ben Logan, an 8 year old. His father walked out about 9 years ago," Garcia continued typing.

"He could be our next victim," Rossi said what everyone was thinking.

Spencer squinted his eyes and scrunched his nose, thinking hard, "Hey, Garcia, is Dr. Martin still practicing?"

"Uhhh, no. He went bankrupt and had to sell his office. About 4 months ago."

"Hotch, the killing started 4 months ago… What if my doctor is seeking out old patients' fathers and killing them because of what they did to us? And selling his office was his stresser?" Spencer said excitedly.

"That's brilliant, Spencer!" Hotch said proudly, "Garcia, can you send me Martin's address?"

"Already on its way sweetie," Garcia smirked into the camera.

"Great work, Spencer," JJ said, patting Spencer on the back, causing him to wince slightly.

The agents and Spencer ran to the SUVs and headed to Martin's house.

88888888888888

"You did great in there, Spencer," Hotch said as they were driving to Martin's.

"Thanks," Spencer blushed, rubbing his bandaged arm lightly.

"Hey, stop that," Hotch gently swatted Spencer's hand away from picking at his bandages.

"Sorry," Spencer shrank into himself.

Hotch shot a concerned look at Spencer, "Hey, I didn't mean that in a bad way. We just don't have any extra gauze and I don't want you to expose that arm and hurt it more."

Spencer just nodded and looked out the window. Hotch turned his eyes back to the road but spoke gently to Spencer, "What's wrong?"

Spencer sighed, "We're going to catch the man who killed my father. We're revisiting a part of my past that I'm not sure I want to relive," Spencer set his feet on his seat and brought his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his legs.

"Everything is going to be ok," Hotch patted Spencer's knee, "I promise."

Spencer took a deep breath and nodded. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing this man again just to arrest him. He helped him heal from his abuse when he was younger. But Spencer knew that was no excuse for killing these maybe-not-so-innocent men.


	10. Chapter 10

"FBI! Open up!" Morgan shouted as they climbed up the stairs to Dr. Martin's front door.

When no one answered, Morgan stepped back and thrust his foot into the door, knocking it off its hinges.

Morgan and Prentiss scanned the inside of the house while JJ and Rossi covered the perimeter. Hotch stayed in the SUV with Spencer.

"He's not here, Hotch," Morgan spoke into his wire.

"He's not out here, either," JJ answered.

"Hotch, look," Spencer shook Hotch's shoulder, directing his attention to the road.

There was a car headed up the road directly towards Dr. Martin's home. The car pulled into the driveway and an older gentleman stepped out, looking at the agents with a raised brow.

"What can I do for you… agents?" the man asked JJ and Rossi as he saw their vests.

"That's him," Spencer whispered to Hotch.

"Dr. Martin?" JJ asked, receiving a nod from the doctor.

"Hotch… The case files of each of the victim's children, plus more, are spread out on his desk. 3 have big red x's on them, guess which 3?" Morgan spoke into his mic.

"Come on," Hotch said to Spencer as he threw open his door and stepped out.

Spencer stumbled out of the SUV and followed Hotch towards the other agents.

"…Spencer?" Dr. Martin exclaimed as he saw the mousy looking young man walk towards him.

Spencer shyly nodded, "Hello, Dr. Martin, long time no see."

"Spencer… it's been so long. How have you been? Your mother well?" Dr. Martin tried his best sound friendly.

"She's… alive. Can't say the same for my father," Spencer shrugged, kicking the dirt beneath him.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. But really, you are much better off without him," Dr. Martin replied, a smile on his face.

Spencer nodded in return, looking at his feet.

"Spencer…" Hotch gently touched Spencer's shoulder and moved him to the side, "Dr. James Martin, you are under arrest for the murders of William Reid, Scott MacDonald, and Robert Green," Hotch said authoritatively.

"This is absurd! Can't say I'm sorry that they're gone, however," Dr. Martin stood his ground.

"I'll say," Morgan shouted from the porch, "Either you've been keeping tabs, or you've been killing. But based on the date on Ben Logan's file, I'd say you're either psychic or killing," Morgan said as he walked towards the doctor, "Check his car, Rossi!"

Rossi moved to the front seat and searched the car before popping the trunk. He ran to the back and found a man bound with ropes and duct tape over his mouth.

Spencer gasped and stepped back. It was true, his doctor had been killing these men. He had killed his father.

"Spencer," Hotch stepped towards the young man and hugged him as he saw him begin to cry.

"Spencer! Is… this man…" Dr. Martin looked from Spencer to Hotch, his eyes wide, "taking advantage of you?"

The entire team looked to the two men who were hugging.

"He's obviously upset, and I am trying to comfort him, Dr. Martin," Hotch spat back.

"But the way you are holding him," Dr. Martin wiggled a finger at him as Morgan was slapping cuffs on him, "indicates desire and objectification!"

"Objectification? Spencer is a human being, not some… object," Hotch scoffed at the doctor.

"But Spencer, this man, is he hurting you?" Dr. Martin looked at Spencer, his eyes full of sadness and a hint of fury.

Spencer shook his head, "No, he would never hurt me."

"That's what you said about your father, if you remember," Dr. Martin replied as Morgan held is arms behind him.

Spencer looked at his feet before replying, "I was a child then. I didn't know abuse from discipline."

"But surely this man has taken advantage of you?" the doctor persisted.

"I was willing, God damn it!" Spencer shouted at the man. He had NOT been taken advantage of.

The entire team, including Hotch, stared at Spencer in disbelief. Shy, timid, little Spencer.

"Hotch? What is he talking about?" Rossi asked his friend.

Hotch looked at Spencer who quickly looked away. He had messed up big time and he knew it, he couldn't look at Hotch.

Hotch shrugged, "we made love."

Spencer's head shot up at this. Had Hotch just admitted to having sex with him? To his friends? His colleagues?

"You… slept with him?" Morgan asked in disbelief.

"It was more than just sex, Morgan," Hotch sighed.

"Don't tell me you've fallen in love with the lunatic," Morgan scoffed.

Without warning, Hotch swung his right fist at Morgan, hitting him square in the jaw and knocking him to the ground.

JJ quickly grabbed the unsub as Rossi was untying the latest intended victim.

"Hotch!" Spencer shouted, grabbing the older man's arm.

"He's NOT a lunatic, Morgan," Hotch yelled at the man on the ground, "but, yes. I have fallen in love with him. Get over it."


	11. Chapter 11

After Morgan was knocked the ground, the team heard sirens approaching, signaling the police and medics.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" one of the medics asked as he climbed out of the vehicle.

Morgan looked up at Hotch, "it was an accident," Morgan mumbled, getting back on his feet.

The medics quickly took care of the intended victim and tended to Morgan's swollen, bleeding lip.

"Hotch, what the hell?" JJ asked, pulling her boss aside.

"I don't know what came over me. But he shouldn't insult anyone like that," Hotch fumed.

"No, I get that, he was being a jerk. But, sleeping with a consultant for the FBI? Come on, Hotch!" JJ pushed Hotch's shoulder back gently.

"I'm not sorry for that. He is an incredible young man," Hotch started.

"Exactly; young. Hotch, you're twice his age. All he's known is that Sanitarium. The moment he gets freedom, you're just gonna snatch him up?" JJ looked concernedly up had Hotch.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Spencer stepped forward.

"Spencer, it's ok, I've got this," Hotch gently touched Spencer's shoulder.

"Let me talk," Spencer brushed off Hotch's hand and stepped closer, "Hotch helped me realize something yesterday. Even though I'm a screwed up mess, someone can still love me. I don't care if he's old enough to be my father; he is a great man, a better man than my father ever was."

JJ just looked from one man to the other, not sure how she should respond. Lost for words, she politely nodded at Spencer and walked off towards the vehicle she had arrived in.

"You're not a screwed up mess, Spencer," Hotch wrapped his arm around Spencer as they walked to the SUV.

"With a past like mine, I'm beyond messed up, Hotch," Spencer shyly retorted.

After climbing into the SUV, Hotch turned to looked at Spencer, "You helped solve a Federal Investigation. You found out you weren't ruined and you could still love. You just stood up to JJ and that unsub. I don't think you are messed up at all," Hotch patted Spencer's leg and started the SUV.

Spencer placed his hand over Hotch's and turned to stare out the window as they watched the deserts of Nevada roll past them.

88888888888888

Spencer was sitting at a table in the station, waiting for the team to wrap up their meeting.

"Hey, kid," Morgan walked up to Spencer, removing an ice pack from his lip, "sorry for calling you a lunatic. You helped us solve the case, you can't be too crazy," Morgan chuckled and held out his hand.

Spencer hesitated before taking Morgan's hand, "Apology accepted."

"Spencer, you ready to head back to Bennington's?" Hotch asked as he walked into the room.

Spencer's face fell, "Oh, yeah." He didn't want to go back.

He followed Hotch outside to the SUV and got in.

On the ride back, Spencer stared out the window. He knew this was too good to be true. Hotch didn't really love him. He just used him to solve his precious little case then was going to throw him back in to his old life and continue on with his perfect FBI agent life. He didn't need a mentally unstable man-child in his life. Hadn't he mentioned he already had a son? Spencer would just be a burden to him.

"—my house," Spencer snapped his head up; he hadn't realized Hotch had been talking to him.

"What'd you say?" Spencer turned to Hotch with curious eyes.

"I said, 'if you don't want to rent and apartment out in Virginia, there is plenty of room at my house,'" Hotch glanced at Spencer, a smile on his face.

Spencer stared at him, wide-eyed, "w-w-what?"

"Of course, your doctors will have to clear you first before you can leave," Hotch quickly added.

Spencer was still confused, "are… are you inviting me to come live with you in Quantico?"

"If you don't want to live on your own, of course. Plus, living with me would give you more money for college," Hotch shrugged.

"College?" Spencer asked, his head swimming.

"Of course. You're smart Spencer, but you still need a proper education to become an FBI agent," Hotch smiled at Spencer.

Spencer just stared at Hotch. He was inviting him to come to the BAU with him. To love with him in Virginia. To attend college. To become an FBI agent.

"You don't think they'll actually clear me to go, do you?" Spencer asked. Of course he didn't, he wouldn't offer these things if he thought he'd actually have to follow through with them.

"Of course," Hotch said matter-of-factly.

_Don't let him get your hopes up, Spencer. _Spencer thought to himself.

88888888888888

"It was an accident, he got poison ivy and scratched to vigorously," Hotch lied through his teeth to the doctor.

"Oh, Agent Hotchner, I know for a fact you are lying. Spencer's gotten so frustrated in though he has done this before, but of course not for several months and not this severely. All his other marks cleared up already. Don't think you have to protect him," the doctor tisked as he tended to Spencer's bandages.

"I gave his mother my word," Hotch replied smugly.

The doctor nodded at Hotch, "For Diana, we'll stick with the poison ivy story. Alright Spencer, you are all set. Meet me in the evaluation room in 10 minutes," the doctor smiled as left Spencer's room.

"You ready for this?" Hotch asked, sitting down next to Spencer, grabbing his hand.

"I don't know," Spencer's voice broke, "All my mother has is me. But the FBI… it's my dream, Hotch."

Hotch nodded and ran his hand through Spencer's messy hair, "We'll leave it to fate to decide. Whatever happens is what you are meant for, Spencer," Hotch placed a kissed on Spencer's forehead as the young man placed his head on his shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

"In case I don't pass—" Spencer started but was cut off by Hotch.

"You _will _pass, Spencer, you _will,_" Hotch reassured Spencer, holding him at arm's length to look into his eyes.

Spencer looked down and nodded, "but, let's say I don't… can I… uh…"

Hotch didn't need to hear the rest of the question. Gently, Hotch lifted Spencer's chin, bringing the young man's lips to his own. Hotch knew Spencer thought this would be the last time they would ever get to kiss. He caressed Spencer's face lightly with the back of his hand as his tongue danced with his own. In response, Spencer cupped Hotch's face, forcing his lips even closer to his.

Hotch couldn't believe the passion Spencer was putting into the kiss, especially considering he was the first man he had ever kissed. The kiss was becoming so heated, Hotch had to shift in his seat to keep himself from pouncing on the young man and ripping his clothes off. Gently, Hotch broke the kiss, receiving protest from Spencer.

"It's time. Are you ready?" Hotch asked, gliding his hand down the side of Spencer's face.

Spencer shook his head and pressed his lips against Hotch's again.

Hotch chuckled as he returned the kiss before pulling Spencer off of him again, "Spencer," Hotch laughed as the young man pouted.

Hotch got up off the bed and pulled Spencer to his feet. Spencer grabbed Hotch's hand as they walked down the hall to the evaluation room.

"Come in with me," Spencer begged as they arrived outside the room.

"I can't," Hotch cupped the side of Spencer's face with his hand, "I'll be waiting out in the lobby when you're done."

Spencer nodded as the door opened and his doctor stepped out.

"Come on in, Spencer," the doctor chirped as Hotch waved goodbye and headed down the hall.

8888888888888888

Hotch sat in silence for what seemed like eternity. He knew in his heart Spencer would pass but couldn't help but worry; he wanted him to come home with him so badly.

"Agent Hotchner?" Hotch snapped his head up and his eyes met Diana Reid's.

"Hello, Ms. Reid," Hotch replied politely.

"Did you keep my Spencer safe?" Diana asked as she sat down across from Hotch.

Hotch nodded in reply, "He's perfectly fine. He helped us catch the killer."

Diana smiled slightly, "That's my Spencer."

"Diana, we would like to take Spencer to Quantico to go to college and join the BAU," Hotch decided to get straight to the point.

Diana froze and seemed to think long and hard on this, "we don't have the money for college," Diana shook her head.

"I'll pay his way," Hotch held her gaze.

"I can' task you to do that," Diana shook her head as she started to get up.

"But I want to. Spencer has a bright future. Denying him this chance would pain me," Hotch stopped Diana from leaving.

Diana held Hotch's gaze and replied, "You don't want anything in return?"

"Seeing Spencer graduate and reaching his full potential is reward enough," Hotch replied.

"I'm still holding you to your promise," Diana answered as she got up and left the lobby.

8888888888888

"Agent Hotchner?" Hotch snapped his head up again, he had drifted off while waiting.

"Doctor," Hotch wiped the sleep from his eyes as he sat up in his chair.

"I don't know how… but Spencer's confidence has increased incredibly in just 2 days," the doctor started sounding astounded.

"Well, catching a killer tends to do that, doctor," Hotch replied flatly.

The doctor nodded, "Of course. Agent Hotchner… have you and Spencer… developed… a relationship?" the doctor asked, looking up at Hotch.

Hotch looked back and replied, "Of course, I've grown very fond of him."

The doctor nodded, deciding not to press it further.

"So, what is your decision, doctor?" Hotch asked eagerly

88888888888888888

"Spencer?" Hotch asked as he walked into the young man's room.

Spencer lay in his bed fast asleep. Hotch walked over and sat down next to him. Gently, he brushed the hair from his face, his hand lingering over his cheek.

"mmm?" Spencer stirred and opened his eyes slightly. After seeing it was Hotch, his eyes opened all the way and he grabbed Hotch's face, pulling it to his own. Hotch kissed him before standing up.

"Someone wants to see you," Hotch said as he waved his arm out the door.

Spencer sat up and waited. His mother walked in, tears staining her face.

"Mom," Spencer's voice caught. He stood up and embraced his mother in a hug.

Diana grabbed Spencer's face and whispered, "I am so proud of you! Write me every day," she smiled.

Spencer's eyes got wide, "Does that mean—" he looked over at Hotch who nodded with a smile.

"You passed, Spencer!" Diana shouted with excitement as she pulled Spencer back into a hug.

Hotch couldn't help but laugh at Spencer's expression. His eyes were wide and his mouth was agape in an awkward smile as small breathy laughs escaped his throat.

"The team is meeting us here in a bit, giving us time to pack up your things," Hotch said as he reached for the bag Spencer had brought back with him.

"Be safe," Diana whispered as she placed a kiss on Spencer's forehead.

"I love you, mom. I'll write you every day," Spencer said, still hugging his mother.

8888888888888

"Come on, Hotch! We gotta get a move on!" Morgan shouted from the SUV as Hotch stood outside talking to the doctor.

"Just make sure he takes his medicine, and keep a watchful eye on him when he's thinking," the doctor said as he handed over a bag with Spencer's medication.

"You can count on me, doctor," Hotch smiled at the man.

"Good luck, Spencer! We're all counting on you!" the doctor called to the young man who was sitting in the back seat of the SUV.

Spencer smiled and waved as Hotch walked towards the SUV, climbing in the back seat next to Spencer.

"You two better behave or I'm pulling this vehicle over," Morgan chuckled as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"No promises," Hotch laughed as Spencer pulled him into a kiss.

Morgan rolled his eyes as he looked into the rear view mirror.

"So have you told Jack about his new daddy?" Morgan teased.

Hotch froze. He hadn't really thought about that, "Well, no, I haven't. I wanted it to be a surprise," Hotch decided.

"Do you think he'll like me?" Spencer asked, hugging himself. He didn't think he could handle the rejection of a child.

"Of course!" Hotch scoffed, "he is _my _son," he laughed.

Spencer nodded, he hoped so.


	13. Chapter 13

"Hotch, how sure are you about this?" Emily said as she sat down in her seat carrying a mug of coffee for herself and one for Hotch.

"More sure than I have ever been in my entire life," Hotch replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

The team was on the jet on their way back to Quantico. Emily, Rossi, Morgan and Hotch were gathered in the booth. JJ was going over paperwork and Spencer was sound asleep on the bench.

"What if he has another episode?" Rossi asked concernedly, taking a sip of his own drink.

"He's never been given a chance in his life, Dave. That's what I'm giving him; a chance. A chance to live life. He's an adult, but I will care for him like I do Jack, I won't let anything harm him," Hotch answered confidently.

"What if he decides to go back to his mom?" Morgan asked.

"Then I'll take him back, if that's what he wants. I only want him to do what he wants."

The team nodded. They were all a little skeptical about Hotch taking in Spencer so quickly and claiming he had fallen in love with him. But Hotch wasn't letting his guard down.

Suddenly there was a thump and a yelp. Hotch shot up his head and saw Spencer lying on the floor in a heap, apparently he had fallen off of the bench.

"Spencer!" Hotch yelled as he jumped up from his seat. He kneeled down next to the young man and cleared the hair from his face.

Spencer looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Are you ok?" Hotch said, helping Spencer straighten out his body.

"I'm fine, just had a dream and I must've jerked in my sleep," Spencer said shaking his head, waking himself up.

"Was it a bad dream?" Hotch asked, concerned.

Spencer shook his head and lifted himself back on to the bench, "I don't remember now."

But that was a lie. Spencer did remember his dream. Except it wasn't a dream, it was a memory.

Hotch studied Spencer for a moment before nodding, "are you going back to sleep?"

Spencer shook his head, he couldn't sleep now.

Hotch sat down next to Spencer and put his arm around him.

"So, what memory was your dream about?" Hotch asked nonchalantly as Spencer looked at him with wide eyes, "You can't lie to me, Spencer, I'm a profiler, remember?" Hotch chuckled.

Spencer sighed. That was true. "Well… it was about my father," Spencer said, leaning forward so he could rub his back as if it were in pain.

Hotch nodded, "He can't hurt you now, Spencer."

"I know, but part of me fears that… I'm going to end up like him…" Spencer said, bowing his head.

Hotch tilted his head and studied Spencer quizzically, "What do you mean?"

"I'm… afraid… of living… in the same house as a child," Spencer breathed out.

"You mean Jack," it wasn't a question, just understanding.

Spencer nodded, "What if I get angry and I become my father? Studies show that children who grow up in abusive homes become abusive parents themselves." Spencer shrank into himself.

Hotch pulled Spencer in close to him, "Don't. Don't think about that for a second, you are NOT your father, Spencer. You are gentle and loving, I can tell."

Spencer sighed, "When I was 11… I had a pet hamster. One day I couldn't figure out my calculus homework and my hamster wouldn't stop squeaking and pawing at its cage," Spencer took in a deep breath, "I don't know what happened, the next moment my hamster was dead," Spencer began to cry, clutching Hotch's shirt in his fist.

Using his body to block Spencer from view of the others, Hotch hugged Spencer tight.

Once Spencer had calmed down, Hotch asked, "do you get angry often?"

"Only when I can't figure something out or something is distracting me," Spencer said, using his hand to wipe his eyes.

Hotch nodded in understanding, "We'll work through it."

Spencer nodded; he really didn't want to talk about it.

"So, since it's April, we'll enroll you to start classes in August, giving you time to adjust. You can still help us with cases if we consult you," Hotch changed the subject quickly, noticing the reluctance in Spencer's eyes.

"What will I do at home before that?" Spencer asked.

"Summer is coming up, you can stay home and watch Jack," Hotch answered, "Don't worry about hurting him, I trust you. He's a mild mannered kid," Hotch ran his hand through Spencer's hair.

Spencer nodded and brought his legs up onto the bench, curling in to a fetal position, laying his head on Hotch's lap.

Hotch gently stroked Spencer's messy, lightly curly hair. Hotch looked over at his team and saw Emily looking back at them, nodding with a smile on her face.

88888888888888888888888888

"Daddy!" Jack yelled as he launched from the doorstep and ran down the path into his father's arms.

"Hey, buddy!" Hotch said, kneeling down to his son's level and giving him a hug, "I missed you."

"Look what I made!" Jack cheered excitedly, handing his father a drawing. The picture was of a man Hotch figured to be himself punching a much larger man.

"It's you beating up the bad guy!" Jack smiled.

Hotch smiled back and ruffled his son's hair.

"Jack, there's someone I want you to meet," Hotch stood up and took Spencer's hand, bringing him forward, "this is Spencer. He's going to be living with us."

Jack looked at Spencer and smiled. When he saw Spencer's bandaged arm he asked, "Did the bad guy beat you up?"

Spencer thought a moment before responding, "Yeah, he did. But your daddy helped defeat him," Spencer smiled as the young boy threw his hands up in the air and shouted, "Go daddy!"

Hotch walked to the car and grabbed Spencer's stuff before leading Spencer into his new home.

"Wow! This place is huge!" Spencer said in awe as he stepped into the foyer.

Hotch chuckled as he began walking up the stairs, Spencer close behind.

"Here's Jack's room," Hotch said as they passed a room full of toys and bright colors, "and here's my, excuse me, our room," Hotch smiled as he walked into the bedroom and set down Spencer's things.

Spencer looked at Hotch, "We're already going to share a room?"

"Unless you want your own, there's a spare bedroom down the hall. I just thought…" Hotch uncharacteristically scrambled for his words.

"No, no, it's fine. It's perfect," Spencer smiled, wrapping his arms around Hotch's waist.

"Daddy?" Hotch turned around to see Jack standing in the doorway, "do you love Spencer?" Jack tilted his head, waiting for an answer.

Hotch looked at Spencer, who looked away in shame.

"Yes, I do," Hotch smiled at his son.

Spencer looked at Hotch and then down at Jack who was smiling back, "Well, then I love him too!" Jack giggled as he flung himself onto Spencer, causing Spencer to stumble back.

"Careful, buddy. Spencer's a little more… fragile then Daddy," Hotch said, prying his son off of Spencer.

Jack looked at Spencer, studying him, "Is he gonna break in half?" Jack asked in horror as he noticed how skinny Spencer was.

Spencer laughed along with Hotch. Maybe he was going to like it here after all.


	14. Chapter 14

"Spencer! I drew you a picture!" Jack said excitedly as he held up his drawing for Spencer.

Spencer was sitting on the couch watching television while Jack sat at the coffee table, drawing pictures.

"It's you! See, I even drew your bandages," Jack pointed at the drawing proudly.

Spencer smiled and gladly accepted the drawing, "Thanks, Jack. I love it."

Jack beamed and went back to drawing. He stopped for a moment and looked up at the TV, "Spencer, what's this show?" he asked curiously.

"Doctor Who," Spencer answered, "Lucky you guys have BBC America," Spencer chuckled. Jack just stared at him blankly, "Come here, Jack," Spencer patted the couch next to him.

Jack got up and climbed onto the couch, nestling in beside Spencer.

"See that blue box? That's called the TARDIS. It's basically a space ship that also travels in time," Spencer explained to the young boy.

"Wooowww!" Jack was astonished as the TARDIS disappeared on the screen, "what's that?" Jack pointed at the TV.

"That's still the TARDIS, just the inside of it," Spencer explained.

"THAT is inside that blue box? It's BIG on the inside!" Jack gawked at the screen.

Spencer chuckled as Jack leaned forward, obviously enthralled in the program.

"Hey, guys, supper's ready!" Hotch called into the living room.

Jack scrambled down from the couch and ran to the kitchen, slowly followed by Spencer.

"Decided to make your favorite buddy, chicken nuggets," Hotch ruffled Jack's hair as he ran up to him.

Jack plopped down in his chair and waited for the men to sit down as well.

Once they were seated, Jack attacked his food, making Spencer laugh.

"Do you like chicken nuggets, Spencer?" Jack asked through a mouthful of food.

Hotch chided Jack, telling him not to talk with his mouth full.

Spencer chuckled and nodded his head, "I love chicken nuggets. Especially when they're shaped like dinosaurs."

Jack dropped open his mouth, "Me too!"

"You know what goes good with dinosaur nuggets?" Spencer asked, causing Jack to shake his head, "Broccoli!"

"YUCK!" Jack stuck out his tongue.

Spencer laughed, "To the dinosaurs, broccoli is tiny trees."

"ohhh!" Jack smiled, understanding coming over him.

Hotch smiled at Jack and Spencer. Spencer was doing excellent with Jack.

88888888888888

"Daddy, I really like Spencer," Jack said as Hotch tucked him into bed.

"Me too, buddy," Hotch said, patting Jack's little hand.

"Daddy? Why is he so skinny?" Jack couldn't get past the fact he could see the man's ribs through his shirt.

"He's had a very stressful life," Hotch explained softly.

Jack nodded in response to his father.

"Ok buddy, lights out," Hotch said as he got up from the floor next to Jack's bed. He leaned down and kissed Jack on the forehead as he switched of his lamp.

"Night, Daddy," Jack replied sleepily.

Hotch closed the door on Hack's now dark bedroom and began walking down the hall to his room.

When he entered the room, he saw Spencer's suitcase had been opened but found no sign of Spencer. Then, he heard retching coming from the master bathroom.

Hotch quickly made his way to the bathroom and pressed his year to the door. He heard the sound of someone gagging and dry heaving along with the sickening sound of something slimy splashing into a toilet bowl.

"Spencer?" Hotch called as he opened the door. Hotch froze at what he saw.

Spencer was bent over the toilet bowl, one hand holding his hair out of his face, the other at his mouth with his long fingers stuck down his throat.

"Spencer, what the hell?" Hotch walked quickly over to Spencer, crouching down next to him, grabbing his hand and pulling his fingers out of his mouth.

Spencer tried to pull his hand out of Hotch's grip but it was no use. Hotch grabbed Spencer's other hand and pulled him up off the floor. He grabbed a towel off the rack and wiped Spencer down.

Spencer began crying as Hotch wiped his face and hands with the towel.

"How long?" Hotch asked he finished wiping Spencer down and began combing his hair back, checking if it needed to be washed.

"3 years, the sanatorium's food was disgusting and I couldn't stomach it. Now, I can't help it," Spencer got out through ragged breaths.

Hotch held Spencer to his chest, running his fingers through his hair. He led Spencer into the bedroom and had him lie down.

"I don't want you to do that ever again, Spencer," Hotch looked at Spencer with sadness in his eyes.

Spencer blubbered and nodded, turning away from Hotch, "I'm sorry."

Hotch sighed and lied down next to Spencer, hugging him from behind.

Spencer placed his hand on top of Hotch's and sighed, obviously relaxed a bit.

Hotch whispered into Spencer's ear, "Jack says he really likes you."

Spencer looked back at Hotch as best as he could, "Really?"

Hotch nodded, "Really. He also noticed that you were super skinny. A 7 year old noticed, Spencer. It's not healthy."

Spencer nodded and fell silent.

Hotch buried his face in the crook of Spencer's neck and began kissing his neck gently.

Spencer let out a light mew and craned his neck, exposing more of it.

Hotch smirked at the sound and crept his hand up Spencer's shirt, gently rubbing his stomach and chest.

"Hotch…" Spencer arched back as Hotch began teasing his nipples, "Stop, we'll wake up Jack," Spencer hissed.

"Trust me, he's fine," Hotch whispered back, still rubbing Spencer's skin.

Spencer turned himself around and met Hotch with a kiss.

Hotch cupped Spencer's face in his hands and kissed him deeply.

Spencer returned the kiss, running his fingers along Hotch's stubbly face.

Hotch let his hand drop down Spencer's side and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, and lifted it up, causing Spencer to sit up and pull his shirt over his head.

Now shirtless, Spencer climbed up and sat on Hotch's lap, straddling his hips.

Hotch grabbed a hold of Spencer's thighs before running his hands up and down Spencer's beautiful pale torso.

Spencer threw his head back and ground his clothed erection into Hotch's, causing the older man to groan.

Spencer grabbed a hold of Hotch's tie and pulled the man up to meet his lips, kissing him passionately. Now that he was closer to him, Spencer began unbuttoning Hotch's shirt.

"Damn, you're eager," Hotch managed to breath out as he pulled away from Spencer for a split second before Spencer thrust his lips back onto his.

"Just need to forget," Spencer said as he finally had Hotch's shirt undone.

Hotch nodded, he understood the need to forget, what with Haley's death and all.

Hotch shrugged off his shirt and began to undo his tie but Spencer stopped him, "The tie stays on," Spencer said, grabbing Hotch's hand.

Hotch chuckled and rolled Spencer off of him and onto his back.

He thrust his lips onto Spencer's, pushing the young man's head into his pillow. Gently, he placed kisses along down Spencer's throat and chest, causing Spencer to grip Hotch's hair.

Hotch took a hold of Spencer's belt and began undoing it before pulling his pants down, allowing Spencer to kick them off.

Hotch stood up and dropped his own pants before climbing back on the bed. Hotch grabbed Spencer's waist band and pulled down his underwear, his rock hard member springing to life.

Hotch groaned at the sight of Spencer, laying on the bed completely naked and exposed to him.

Spencer was already leaking pre-cum as Hotch took him into his mouth all at once, causing Spencer to tense up and arch his back, pushing himself farther down Hotch's throat.

He was asking for it; Hotch wasn't going to go easy on him this time.

Hotch began bobbing his head up and down vigorously, sucking and swallowing as he went.

Spencer grabbed a fistful of Hotch's hair and forced himself further down Hotch's throat. Hotch gagged and popped Spencer out of his mouth, "Careful," he spat out.

"Shut up and fuck me," Spencer said, lifting up his legs.

Whoa, where did that come from? Hotch thought to himself as he looked down at the young man. The ache in his underpants made him quickly forget this thought.

"Sorry, I have no clue where that came from," Spencer stammered as he saw Hotch's facial expression change.

Hotch just shook his head and dropped his underwear before grabbing a bottle of lotion off of his nightstand.

"Don't worry about it; I just want to make you happy," Hotch said, squirting the lotion onto his fingers.

Hotch slowly pushed his finger into Spencer, causing the young man to tense up at the sudden intrusion. Hotch slowly moved his finger in and out, allowing Spencer to get used to the feeling. Slowly, he added a second finger. He began moving them faster. Spencer let out a moan as Hotch found his sweet spot.

Hotch pulled out his fingers and squirted lotion onto his own length, and lined up with Spencer's hole.

Spencer grabbed a hold of Hotch's tie, yanking his head down to his own, thrusting his lips onto the older man's.

Hotch thrust himself into Spencer in one swift motion, causing Spencer to fling his head back and moan.

Hotch wasn't thinking, he was too overwhelmed with lust as he began pounding into the smaller man, watching him spasm underneath him.

"Hotch," Spencer moaned out as Hotch buried himself inside him.

Hotch grabbed ahold of Spencer and flipped him over onto his stomach. He thrust into Spencer hard, causing the young man to scream.

"Hotch!" Spencer cried out, "Hotch!"

Hotch kept going until he heard Spencer's shouts turn into crying and he slowed down. Spencer was sobbing underneath him.

Hotch pulled out and turned Spencer back over onto his back. His face was stained with tears.

"Spencer?" Hotch asked, caressing Spencer's face.

Spencer took a deep breath and croaked out, "That's how he did it."


	15. Chapter 15

Hotch sat on the bed staring at Spencer with a terrified expression engrained on his face. Spencer was lying there with tears streaming down his face as he fought to catch his breath.

Hotch finally snapped out of it, "Spencer? I-I-I am SO sorry! I-I-I-" Hotch couldn't finish what he was trying to say, he just kept staring at Spencer.

Spencer's breathing finally calmed down. Hotch watched him, feeling relieved when suddenly a strange expression crossed over Spencer's face. His cheeks tightened and he quickly leaned his head over the side of the bed, vomiting on to the floor.

Hotch jumped up and ran to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and wetting it down.

Spencer was still bent over the bed when Hotch came back. Hotch quickly but thoroughly cleaned up Spencer's mess, tossing the towel in the hamper when he was done.

Hotch went back into the bathroom and grabbed his rinsing cup filled with water and a damp wash rag. He carried them out to the bedroom and sat them on the nightstand.

Hotch went over to the side of the bed Spencer wasn't occupying and pulled back the covers. He gently grabbed a hold of Spencer's arm and coaxed him off of the blanket and onto the sheets he just uncovered.

Once Spencer was situated, Hotch tossed the blanket over him and built up a stack of pillows behind his head, propping him up. Hotch picked up the rinsing cup off of the nightstand and handed it to Spencer.

"Drink, you'll feel better," Hotch persuaded him. Hotch sat down on the edge of the bed next to Spencer and dabbed his face with the wet rag as the young man drank.

"Thanks," Spencer finally got out, looking into his cup.

"Of course. I really am sorry, Spencer," Hotch said as he continued gently dabbing his face.

"It's not your fault," Spencer shook his head, "I didn't think it would bother me… but then I suddenly got a flashback," Spencer croaked.

"Sensory induced flashbacks can be brutal," Hotch nodded.

The two sat in silence for a while as Spencer sipped water and Hotch patted his face with the wash cloth.

"We don't have to have sex for a while if you don't want to," Hotch finally spoke what he was sure was on both of their minds.

Spencer shook his head, "I enjoy it… just… not the way he did it."

"Trust me, from now on, you will always see MY face," Hotch nodded as he brushed the hair out of Spencer's face.

"Hotch?" Spencer asked, "Why—never mind," Spencer hung his head quickly.

"Why what, Spencer?" Hotch lifted Spencer's chin up to look at him.

"W-why don't you ever have me… suck you?" Spencer asked innocently.

Hotch let out a breathy laugh, "Because I want it to be enjoyable for you. I didn't think having you get me off would benefit you any," Hotch answered.

Spencer nodded, "But if I ever want to…?"

Hotch chuckled, "I certainly wouldn't object. But I'm not going to make you do it if you don't want to."

Spencer smiled shyly back at Hotch. No one had ever cared this much about what he wanted.

Hotch looked down at the cup Spencer was holding and noticed it was empty, "do you want more water?" Hotch asked.

Spencer shook his head, "I'm good, thanks."

Hotch took the cup from Spencer and placed it on the nightstand along with the wash rag. He threw back the covers on the other side of the bed and sank in next to Spencer.

As soon as Hotch pulled the covers back over him, Spencer placed his head on his shoulder, nestling into his warmth.

Hotch lifted his arm over Spencer's head and wrapped it around him, allowing Spencer to place his head on his chest as he pulled him in closer.

"I love you," Spencer mumbled so quietly that Hotch almost didn't hear him.

Hotch looked down at Spencer and saw he was sound asleep. Hotch smiled and whispered back, "I love you too, Spencer Reid."

8888888888888888888888888888

"Daddyyyyyyyy!" Jack ran into his father's room, his stuffed dinosaur in tow and launched himself onto the bed.

"Wake up! It's Saturday!" Jack jumped on his father's stomach, earning a grunt from Hotch.

"mmm, what?" Hotch blinked the sleep from his eyes, "oh, morning buddy. What time is it?"

"9," Jack smiled back.

Hotch groaned. It wasn't exactly early for Jack, but Hotch was hoping it was a little later, "and I suppose you want pancakes don't you little man?" Hotch teased as he sat up.

Jack nodded his head and smiled.

"Ok, I'll meet you downstairs," Hotch said as Jack scrambled off the bed and out of the room.

"Is it morning already?" Spencer mumbled as he sat up and stretched.

Hotch nodded and laughed, "Yup. Jack and I always make pancakes on Saturday mornings. You wanna help?"

Spencer smiled, "Sure."

Hotch smiled and got out of the bed to get dressed. He opened his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers. As he was pulling them on, he discovered he had a slight problem.

"Shit," Hotch mumbled under his breath.

Spencer turned around at Hotch's word and laughed at what he saw.  
>Hotch stood with his boxers around his knees and his cock standing proudly between his legs.<p>

Hotch looked up at the laugh to see Spencer advancing towards him.

"Spencer, what are—ohhh," Hotch moaned as Spencer kneeled in front of him and took him into his mouth.

Hotch could tell Spencer didn't really know what he was doing, but he wasn't complaining, it still felt wonderful.

"God, Spencer," Hotch groaned as Spencer grazed his length with his teeth.

Hotch moaned and thrust his hips forward and threw his head back as he spilled deep into Spencer's throat.

Spencer released Hotch with a slick "pop" and stood back up pulling Hotch's boxers up as he did. Suddenly, he thrust is lips onto Hotch's. Hotch could taste himself on Spencer's tongue and got a strange enjoyment from it.

"Ready for pancakes?" Spencer smirked as he pulled on his own underwear and pants.

Hotch pulled on his weekend jeans and threw on a gray t-shirt before responding, "I am now."

After they were dressed, the two men descended the stairs to find Jack covered head to toe in flour.

"I think I'm gonna leave cooking to you, Daddy," Jack smiled at his dad.

Hotch laughed and shook his head, "Go upstairs and take a bath. I'll get the pancakes started.

Jack smiled and ran upstairs, almost slipping in the process.

Hotch smiled and shook his head as he walked into the kitchen with Spencer. Jack didn't get very far with the pancakes; only the flour had been touched. And by touched, meaning it had been spilled in the middle of the floor.


	16. Chapter 16

Hotch set to work on the pancakes while Spencer volunteered to clean up the flour. Having taken care of his mother and himself for a few years, Spencer knew more than a thing or two about cleaning.

"You ever make pancakes before?" Hotch turned to Spencer as the young man was washing his hands.

"I don't trust myself near a stove," Spencer shrugged.

"How come?" Hotch asked curiously.

Spencer fell silent for a moment, thinking. Then he said, "When I was younger, about 9, my dad had been cooking. After we finished eating, I sat my dishes in the sink. I accidentally dropped something and bent over to pick it up and I lifted myself back up with the stove top. My father forgot to turn it off. Burnt my hand pretty good."

Hotch looked up from the pancakes and studied Spencer. He wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not. He thought there was a possibility his father burnt him on the stove or he had done it on purpose to inflict pain on himself. Spencer looked up from the sink and caught Hotch's stare.

"I didn't self-harm. I couldn't ever risk hurting my mother like that. And my dad loved to hurt me, but burning me on the stove wasn't how he operated. It was an accident, I promise," Spencer explained still looking at Hotch.

Hotch nodded. He believed him.

Spencer finished cleaning and stood next to Hotch, as close to him as he could while also being as far from the stove as he could.

"Is it difficult?" Spencer asked suddenly.

"Making pancakes? No, it's pretty simple, really," Hotch replied with a slight chuckle.

"No. I meant taking care of Jack by yourself," Spencer shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

"I have his aunt to help me when I'm gone on business or working late. I try to be here for him as often as I can though, the team understands that and they do what they can to help me make that possible," Hotch replied as he flipped a pancake.

"Do you miss him when you're away?" Spencer rubbed his right shoulder with his left hand.

"All the time. I love him but I love my work too. After what happened to Haley, I could never leave the bureau, I could never allow someone to have to go through what I did…" Hotch said thoughtfully as he seemed to be mesmerized by the pancake batter he was pouring into the pan.

Spencer opened his mouth to ask what happened to his wife, or was she his ex? But was cut off by Jack running down the stairs screaming, "Pancaaaaaakes!"

"Hey bud!" Hotch turned away from the pancakes and scooped up Jack, giving Spencer and apologetic look as he did.

"Did you drain the tub?" Hotch asked as he held Jack in one arm and flipped a pancake with his other hand.

"yup!" Jack nodded as he watched his dad make his breakfast.

"Did you wipe up all the water off the floor?"

"Yup."

"Use soap?"

Jack didn't answer.

Hotch looked down at his son and raised an eyebrow, "no soap?"

Jack looked up at his dad with a cute smile that Hotch couldn't stay mad at.

Hotch laughed, "ok, you'll just have to take another bath tonight. With soap."

Jack pouted and folded his arms, making Spencer and Hotch laugh.

"Why don't you and Spencer go set the table?" Hotch suggested, setting Jack back down on the floor. He turned to Spencer, "the plates are right here, and the forks are in that drawer," Hotch pointed out to Spencer, "and here's the cups."

Spencer nodded and grabbed two regular plates, two regular glasses and a superhero plate and cup set that he figured to be Jack's. Jack opened the fork drawer and grabbed three forks before running to the table.

Hotch turned around to catch a glimpse of his son and Spencer setting the table. Jack placed a fork at each of the three chairs and was telling Spencer where he would sit and where to put his special plate. Spencer just laughed and went along with it; he was obviously having a good time. Hotch smiled at the two interacting, he knew bringing Spencer home was a good idea.

Hotch carried the plate he had stacked with pancakes, a tub of butter, and a bottle of syrup out to the table. Spencer had taken the liberty of pouring them each a glass of milk.

The three began to eat. While eating, Hotch asked, "So boys what do you want to do today?"

"I want to watch that Doctor show with Spencer!" Jack smiled.

Hotch turned to Spencer and raised a brow.

"Doctor Who," Spencer clarified.

"Ahhh," Hotch understood, "Well watching TV all day doesn't sound too exciting. How about we go out and do something then come home and watch Doctor Whatsit?"

"Doctor Who!" Jack and Spencer shouted in unison.

Hotch laughed and shook his head. What had Spencer done to his son?

888888888888888888888

"Daddy, how high up are we?" Jack asked as he snuggled close to Spencer.

"About 60 feet high," Hotch answered as he looked at Spencer and Jack, both of who seemed to be afraid.

Hotch had remembered there was a fair in town and decided that would be a perfect way to spend the day.

The three of them were on a Ferris wheel. Hotch sat across from Jack and Spencer. Spencer had his eyes squeezed shut and Jack was nestled in closely to Spencer.

"Spencer?" Hotch asked.

"Afraid of heights," Spencer quickly said without opening his eyes.

Hotch patted Spencer's knee and smiled although he knew Spencer couldn't see him.

"Ok, boys, we're done now," Hotch chuckled as the ride operator opened their door once they reached the ground.

Jack jumped off as fast as he could, closely followed by Spencer. Hotch exited at a normal pace, laughing at the two younger males.

"Daddy! I want that gorilla!" Jack shouted, pointing frantically at a large stuffed gorilla in one of the game booths.

Hotch looked at the booth and laughed; it was a shooting game.

"Okay, buddy, I'll see what I can do," Hotch chuckled as he walked up to the game operator.

Hotch handed over $3 as the operator explained the game to him. He had to shoot the moving target dead center twice. Not too difficult, Hotch thought to himself.

Hotch missed on his first try but got it the second time and failed on his third try. Hotch sighed, he was an FBI agent and handled a gun regularly but this was rigged, he was sure.

"Nice try grandpa, but how about you try, dad?" the operator nodded at Spencer.

_Oh shit. Does that guy really think I'm Spencer's father and Jack's grandfather? _Hotch thought to himself.

"I'm his dad," Hotch said, placing his hands on Jack's shoulders.

"I'm not," Spencer shook his head.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You still wanna give it a try?" the man asked.

Hotch shelled out three more dollars and nodded for Spencer to take the gun.

Spencer held the gun rather awkwardly. Hotch came up behind him, placing his hands on top of Spencer's, instructing him to use it.

"Now, keep it steady and aim," Hotch coaxed him as he backed away, receiving a dirty look from the game operator.

Spencer nodded and steadied himself. He pulled the trigger and hit the target.

Hotch smiled and clapped while Jack cheered, "one more!"

Spencer smiled and took aim again, imagining Hotch's arms still around him. He took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. He hit the target.

The game operator pulled down the gorilla and handed it over to Jack.

"Have a good day with your dads, kid," the man sneered as they walked off.

Hotch rolled his eyes while Spencer coiled in on himself, obviously ashamed.

Hotch wrapped his arm around Spencer and held him close to him as they walked, "hey, don't worry about it," Hotch reassured Spencer.

Spencer shrugged, "I used to get made fun of all the time as a teenager. I'd walk through town and hear 'fag' 'queer' 'homo'… just because how I looked… now they have a reason."

"Let's give them something to talk about then," Hotch smiled as he placed a finger on Spencer's chin and pulled his head towards his own.

Right in the middle of a crowd, Hotch kissed Spencer passionately and didn't care who saw it.


	17. Chapter 17

"Aaron?" Hotch pulled away from Spencer and looked to his left to see Jack's Aunt Jessica staring at them.

"Jessica…" Hotch met the woman's gaze.

"w-what are you doing? And in front of your son? What's he gonna think?" Jessica marched up to Hotch so she was right in his face.

"He's going to think I am in love with Spencer," Hotch said flatly.

"He's going to think it's normal for men to kiss other men," Jessica hissed back.

"He's going to think it's normal to kiss who you are in love with," Hotch retorted.

Spencer just stood there watching the two quarrel. Jack had found his way over to Spencer and leaned against his leg.

"I know you're heartbroken after what happened to Haley but do you really think THIS is going to fix it?" Jessica fumed.

"Jessica, please, you're causing a scene," Hotch said as he looked around at all the people staring at them.

"fine. Come on, Jack, you're coming with me," Jessica said as she grabbed the boy's hand.

"NO! I want to stay with Daddy and Spencer!" Jack firmly planted his feet to the ground.

"Jessica, please!" Hotch shouted.

"Let the boy go," an elderly woman stepped forward into the scrap, "he belongs with his father."

"But I'm his aunt!" Jessica shouted.

"I'm his father!" Hotch's voice shook.

"Is there a problem here?" a uniformed police officer stepped forward from the crowd.

"This man is unfit to care for this child," Jessica replied, pointing at Hotch.

"How so?" the officer asked.

"He was kissing that man," Jessica pointed at Spencer who had shrunk in on himself and was staring at his feet.

"Is that all?" the officer raised a brow.

"It's an unfit environment for a child," Jessica responded.

The officer stared her down, "and what gives you authority to determine that?"

"I'm the boy's aunt. His late mother's sister," Jessica responded.

"Ma'am, this child is not in danger. Therefore I must request that you et him go with his father," the officer stepped toward Jessica.

Jessica was furious. She let go of Jack's hand and stormed off in a huff.

Jack ran to Hotch, who scooped him up and held him close.

"Sir, I'm sorry that you had to endure that," the officer apologized to Hotch.

Hotch nodded in response. He grabbed Spencer's hand, "Come on boys, let's go home."

Spencer pulled his hand from Hotch's and folded his arms across his chest as he walked alongside Hotch.

The crowd stared after the three as they made their way to Hotch's car.

"Ok, everyone, back to your lives," the officer announced to the crowd as he looked on after Hotch and Spencer.

8888888888888888888888

"Daddy, why did aunt Jess act like that?" Jack asked as he sat with his father and Spencer on the couch.

Hotch looked down at Jack, "well, some people don't like it when 2 men kiss or have romantic feelings for each other," Hotch explained as simply as he could.

"That's silly. If they love each other, what should it matter?" Jack asked.

"It's just how some people think, bud," Hotch said, smoothing Jack's hair.

"Don't listen to her, Spencer. I like you. I want you to be with my Daddy," Jack climbed into Spencer's lap.

"Thanks, Jack," Spencer pushed Jack's hair out of his face.

Spencer was extremely upset, Hotch could tell and it really bothered him.

"Hey Jack, how about you go upstairs and play for a bit why Spencer and I talk?" Hotch suggested to the boy.

Jack nodded and jumped off the couch, and ran upstairs.

"Spencer…" Hotch scooted closer to the younger man.

Spencer shrank back, "she's right. I shouldn't be allowed to be around a child, I'm disgusting," Spencer looked down at his body.

"You are not disgusting. You are a beautiful human being. Jack loves you! He'd be devastated if you left," Hotch wrapped his arm around Spencer.

"He'd get over it, he's only known me for a day," Spencer pulled his knees up to his chin.

"ok…_ I'd _be devastated if you left. I don't care what anyone thinks about you Spencer. It only matters what_ I_ think and what _you _think," Hotch pulled Spencer into him so that he was leaning his body against Hotch's.

Spencer began crying as he buried his head deep into Hotch's sleeve. Hotch just wrapped his arms around Spencer and held him close, slowly rocking him side to side.

"It's ok. There's always going to be people who want to bring you down. People who don't agree with what you do. You just have to remember you live life for you and nobody else," Hotch said as he held onto a weeping Spencer. He was really just a boy who got thrust into an adult world overnight. He needed reassurance he never got as a teenager.

Spencer suddenly bolted up off the couch and ran down the hall to the bathroom.

Hotch followed him, standing by the door. He heard retching and opened the door to find Spencer vomiting involuntarily into the toilet.

Hotch sat down on the floor next to Spencer and rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry," Spencer croaked out in between heaves.

Hotch shook his head, "Don't apologize."

Spencer gave one final heave and sat back, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Hotch stood up and scooped Spencer into his arms bridal style.

Spencer nestled his head into Hotch's shoulder and grabbed onto his neck.

Hotch looked down at Spencer and bean to lean down to kiss him.

"Maybe I should brush my teeth first," Spencer suggested with a crooked smile.

Hotch laughed and placed a kiss on Spencer's forehead as he carried him up the stairs.


	18. Chapter 18

After brushing his teeth, Spencer lied down in bed, after much persuasion from Hotch.

"I know it's only 3:00, but you need to rest, you're stressing out," Hotch chuckled as he sat down next to Spencer and gently stroked his hair.

"But I promised Jack I'd watch Doctor Who with him!" Spencer protested.

Hotch laughed and shook his head, "I'm sure he'll understand. You can watch it later."

Spencer huffed and settled down under the blanket Hotch had thrown over him.

"Oh hush," Hotch bent down and gave Spencer a kiss.

Spencer smiled and looked at Hotch thoughtfully for a while. His smile quickly faded as he looked off into the distance

"What if you get bored with me?" Spencer finally asked, looking at the ceiling.

Hotch looked down at Spencer, "The day I get bored with you… is the day my heart stops beating."

Spencer redirected his gaze to Hotch and stared at him. Was he serious? He's only known him for less than a week, he couldn't possibly know that.

"Spencer, I've said it before, I'll say it again; I just can't explain the way I feel about you. I just KNOW," Hotch said as he stroked Spencer's hair.

"Once you get to know me, you won't know anymore," Spencer whispered to himself, but Hotch heard him.

"Well then, tell me more. Tell me all about Spencer Reid," Hotch sat up straight, looking directly into Spencer's eyes.

Spencer sighed, he had already told Hotch a lot, but not everything, but this was the only way to find out if Hotch wouldn't ever leave him, "Born and raised in Las Vegas. My father was abusive. Anytime he was angry at anything or anyone he'd take out his anger on me with a belt or a cigarette. The earliest abuse I can remember was when I was three. Having an eidetic memory, I remember every bit of pain he put me through, whether I want to or not. When I was 12, he stopped beating me for about 5 months. It was wonderful, almost too good to be true. And…. it was," Spencer stopped rambling for a moment to catch his breath, "I came home from school one day in February. My mother was having one of her episodes and locked herself in the bedroom. My father wasn't home yet. I grabbed some food and went to my room to do homework. About an hour later I heard the front door open and my father throw his keys into the bowl like he always did. I listened as he walked to his bedroom and jiggled the door handle, discovering it was locked. He beat on the door. My mother screamed at him and something shattered against the door. My father was angry and went back to the living room. I heard him open a bottle. About another hour passed and he had probably drank 5 beers already while he laughed at some comedy show on TV. I heard the TV shut off and my father get out of his chair. I was lying on my bed, reading when my door opened and my father staggered in, obviously drunk," Spencer bit his lip.

Hotch knew where this was going, "Spencer… you don't ha—"

Spencer shook his head, "He clumsily slipped off his belt. I thought he was going to beat me with it, but he dropped it on the floor. He pulled off his pants and just stared at me. He climbed on my bed, grabbed me, and flipped me over onto my stomach. He pulled down my pajamas and my underwear, leaving me exposed. I heard him slip off his own underwear and felt something press against my backside. I didn't know what was happening at first but then I figured it out. Before he could start, I screamed. He covered my mouth and thrust in violently. It hurt like fire and burned like hell. He had me pinned down against my bed, I couldn't move. It seemed to go on for hours until he finally stopped and walked out of my room. I lied there on my stomach, my rear end exposed for a while, just crying. I couldn't move. I missed school the next day because it hurt to walk. That night… my father never came home. I didn't see or hear from him for 2 years," Spencer stopped talking and stared at the ceiling.

Hotch stared at Spencer, horrified. He lied down next to him and pulled him into a hug. They lay there in silence until Spencer took a deep breath, "I graduated in May that year. My mother forgot to come. I had to walk home from the school in my gown. My mother was locked away in her room. The next morning she came in my room and saw me laying on my bed in my gown. She gave me a hug and congratulated me. I wasn't mad at her, she couldn't help it. I started taking college classes the following semester. We couldn't afford full tuition. I started mowing lawns around town and shoveling during the winter. We made it through with that money and my mother's disability check. That went on for 2 years. One night my mother had the worst episode ever and started throwing things, smashing my father's pictures and anything that reminded her of him. I am still not sure what set her off. My neighbors must've heard her screaming and things breaking because the cops showed up and took my mom away. I lied and told them my dad was coming home and I'd be fine til then. Later I got a call and they told me they were putting my mother in Bennington's. Being 14, I applied for a job and I got it. I worked at a grocery store and still did my lawn service. I made enough to keep my mom in Bennington's. I gave up on college. On my 18th birthday, I got a call to come to Bennington's. I showed up and they told me my father admitted me, claiming I had an episode. Dumbass hadn't seen me in 6 years. He sent a check monthly. Every day I prayed and wished for his demise," Spencer took in a deep breath and let it out before laying in silence.

Hotch just lied there and held on to Spencer in silence. The boy had just poured his heart out to him. He had recollected the worst day of his life back to him.

"George Foyet," Hotch said into the silent room.

Spencer turned his head to look at Hotch, "what?"

"George Foyet, that's the man who murdered my wi- er- ex-wife. He was a serial killer we had been tracking down for a while. We thought he had disappeared. He had one living victim who escaped his wrath. We met up with the man only to discover, he had faked his attempted killing, killed his wife, and pretended to be a victim when he was in fact The Boston Reaper. He targeted me and made it a point to torture me to watch me suffer. I put Haley and Jack under protection. He eventually found them. He had her call me when I had already figured it out and was on my way to save her. He shot her when she was on the phone with me," Hotch spoke to the wall as he stared at it over Spencer's shoulder.

"You still loved her," Spencer didn't ask, he knew.

Hotch nodded, "She couldn't handle my job. I was always in danger and away from her and Jack. She filed for divorce 3 years before she… died. I never stopped loving her."

"How long…?" Spencer let the question hang in the air.

"2 years. Not a day goes by when I don't think about it," Hotch replied, "you help me forget."

Spencer nodded, "I know the feeling."

With that, Spencer turned to face Hotch and was met with a kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

"So Hotch… what happened to Foyet? Did he get jail time?" Spencer broke the silence with his nervous question.

Hotch stayed silent for a moment as he thought of what to tell Spencer. He decided it was best to tell the truth, "When I got to the house… I saw Haley's dead body and found Foyet. He attacked me… and I… uh… killed him… with my bare hands," Hotch didn't want to scare Spencer but he knew he needed to hear the truth.

Spencer just lay there in silence, stunned. Around his team, Spencer had noticed Hotch had a stone cold exterior. But from his own experience and now this story, Spencer knew there was a lot more to him.

"Spencer?"

"what?" Spencer snapped out of his thought, turning to Hotch.

"Are you alright?" Hotch looked concerned.

Spencer nodded, "Yeah, just thinking."

"I hope that didn't scare you," Hotch replied.

Spencer shook his head, "of course not."

Hotch smiled and lay his head back down on the pillow.

"Does Jack know what happened?" Spencer asked.

Hotch took a deep breath, "as much as a 7 year old could understand. He knows a bad guy killed his mom and that I beat the bad guy who did it," Spencer felt Hotch's chest move a bit in a half-hearted laugh.

Spencer nodded and let out a yawn. He settled his head into Hotch's shoulder and closed his eyes. He was really worn out.

Hotch noticed Spencer fell silent again, "Spencer?" Hotch said lightly.

He looked down and saw Spencer fast asleep in his arms. Hotch lay his head down and closed his eyes as well.

88888888888888888888

Hotch was awoken by his cell phone buzzing on the nightstand. He slipped Spencer out of his arms carefully and picked up his phone.

"Hello?" Hotch answered groggily.

"Hello, Agent Hotchner?" a man on the other end responded.

"This is him," Hotch answered, getting off the bed and slipping out of the room quietly.

"This is Doctor Ross from Bennington's," the man continued.

"Oh yes, of course. How are you sir?" Hotch quickly snapped out of his sleepiness.

"I'm very well, thank you. I called to hear how Spencer has been doing these past few days," the doctor said.

"Oh, he's been doing fine. He's really bonded with my son. Still a little insecure and lacking confidence but we're working on it," Hotch replied. Suddenly a thought occurred to Hotch, "Doctor? Have you ever tested Spencer for bipolar disorder?" Hotch asked the burning question.

The doctor cleared his throat, "no, we never did. Why? Has he been showing signs?" the doctor asked.

"Maybe. Nothing too extreme, but his mood changes drastically. One moment he'll be confident and acting like he can do anything and the next moment he's insecure again," Hotch shrugged.

"Well, that also happens a lot with abuse victims, I'm sure you are well aware," the doctor suggested.

"Of course," Hotch responded, "maybe that's all."

"Well, please, keep me posted if any more signs pop up. If nothing else is concerning, I'll call again in a few days," the doctor began to end the conversation.

"Of course, thank you Doctor," Hotch responded, "Have a nice day."

"You too, Agent Hotchner," the doctor hung up.

Hotch looked at his phone to check the time. It was about 4:30. Hotch walked to Jack's room and knocked on the door gently.

Jack opened the door and smiled up at his dad, "Spencer feeling better?"

"He's sleeping right now," Hotch said as he walked into his son's room, "What've you been doing?"

"Drawing," Jack smiled, pointing to his small table strewn with colorful pictures, "I made this for Spencer," Jack held up a drawing of 3 stick figures holding hands. One figure was tall with black hair and a scowl on his face. Hotch figured it to be himself. His stick figure was in the middle holding hands with a tall, scraggily brown haired figure with a crooked a smile and then a smaller figure with blonde hair. Hotch smiled, it was him, Spencer, and Jack.

"Do you like it?" Jack looked at his father hopefully.

"I love it," Hotch bent down and hugged Jack.

Jack beamed up at his father and sat down at his table to begin drawing some more.

Hotch's cell phone buzzed again.

"Hello?" Hotch answered.

"Hey, Hotch, the team's getting together at my place tonight. You, Jack, and Spencer are invited," JJ answered on the other line.

"Spencer's sleeping right now, but I'll ask him when he wakes up," Hotch answered.

"We're meeting around 6:00, so let me know when you know," JJ answered, "is he alright?" she sounded concerned.

"He's fine, just worn out. I'll explain later. Tonight, if we make it," Hotch answered.

"Hope so, Henry really wants to see Jack," JJ chuckled.

"Alright, thanks JJ," Hotch hung up, "so, buddy, want to go to aunt JJ's tonight if Spencer's up to it?"

Jack nodded excitedly.

Hotch went back to his room to check on Spencer. He opened the door to find Spencer still fast asleep on the bed. Hotch walked over to the bed and covered Spencer with the blanket that had slipped off him a bit.

Spencer stirred and opened his eyes, looking up at Hotch, smiling when he saw him.

"Hey," Spencer stretched.

"Hey. So JJ called, you want to hang out with the team at her place tonight?"

"Sure," Spencer shrugged.

Hotch walked into the bathroom and pulled off his shirt to take a shower. He walked over and turned on the shower, feeling for it to heat up.

Suddenly, Hotch felt hands on his chest. He looked down and saw Spencer's arms wrapped around his torso. He felt Spencer bury his face in his shoulder. Spencer gently moved his hands back and forth across Hotch's stomach.

Hotch moaned and leaned his head back, giving Spencer access to his neck. He gently sucked on his skin, nipping at it with his teeth.

"Spencer, I need to take a shower," Hotch moaned.

"I'll join you," Spencer suggested, stepping back from Hotch and pulling off his own shirt and pants.

Hotch took this opportunity to strip himself of his own pants and underwear. Once he was naked, he turned around to Spencer. Spencer smacked his lips against Hotch's and pushed Hotch into the walk-in shower, blindly pushing the door closed behind him.

The two men let their tongues battle for dominance, both of them gasping from the heat of the water and their hot breaths lingering in the air.

Spencer slid his tongue out of Hotch's mouth and licked down Hotch's neck, stopping to suck on his collar bone. Hotch leaned his head back and closed his eyes as Spencer ran his tongue down his chest and stomach. Hotch gasped and backed into the cold shower wall as Spencer took his length into his mouth.

As he gently sucked on Hotch's hardened member, Spencer let his arms snake up Hotch's toned stomach and chest, caressing it in rhythm with his tongue strokes.

Hotch bucked his hips forward, causing his body to slide down the tile slowly.

Spencer quickened his pace, swirling his tongue around the swelling length. Spencer grabbed Hotch's ball sack and squeezed, causing Hotch to moan and grab Spencer's hair with his hand. Hotch gently pulled on Spencer's hair as he moved his head back and forth.

Spencer popped Hotch out of his mouth and rose to his feet, engulfing Hotch's mouth with his. While they kissed, Hotch slipped a finger into Spencer's entrance and began working it slowly.

"Ready?" Hotch smirked and slid another finger into the younger man, followed by a third. Once he was sure that he would fit without causing Spencer pain, he lifted the smaller man onto his hips and thrust upward into him.

Spencer gasped and moaned loudly as their bodies melted together. The steam from hot water made it difficult for Spencer to breathe as he was bounced up and down on Hotch's hips. Hotch groaned and thrust harder into the younger man, feeling his insides tighten around his member. Spencer panted and turned red faced as he rolled his hips with Hotch, feeling himself nearing his peak quite quickly.

"nngg, more!" Spencer found himself being laid on the floor of the shower as Hotch pounded into him.

They moaned together, gasping each other's names as they continued their fun. Hotch leaned further down, kissing Spencer's neck as he picked his hips up a bit. Spencer screamed as his prostate was grazed, eventually being pushed on over and over. The sounds Spencer made were driving Hotch wild, causing him to shoot his seed inside of the young man. Spencer shuttered, feeling the hotness of Hotch's cum shooting into him. He moaned loudly and clenched around him, reaching his own peak.

"AARON!" Spencer dug his nails into Hotch's back, arching upward as he came on the both of them.

Hotch pulled out and watched in amazement as the younger man finished and relaxed on the floor of the shower. Spencer smiled softly and sat up, kissing Hotch deeply.

"First time you called me Aaron," Hotch gasped from the hot water streaming down his back.

"Is that okay?" Spencer asked innocently.

Hotch chuckled and kissed Spencer, "of course."


	20. Chapter 20

The two men helped wash each other's hair. Hotch massaged Spencer's head, stroking Spencer's long curly shoulder length hair.

"Maybe I should get a haircut," Spencer suggested.

"Maybe to just clean it up a bit, but I like it, I think I'd miss it if you chopped it off," Hotch mused.

The two finished their shower and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

"We should unpack your clothes tonight, move them into the closet," Hotch suggested as Spencer rifled through his suitcase for clothes.

Spencer chuckled and nodded his head in agreement as he pulled out a white short-sleeve button down and black slacks.

"You can dress more casual if you want," Hotch said as he pulled on a nicer pair of jeans than he had been wearing.

Spencer blushed, "I don't own any jeans. And only one t-shirt."

"Well, how many pants and shirts do you have?" Hotch asked as he pulled on a fitted t-shirt that hugged his toned body.

"3 shirts and 2 pants. Plus 2 sweaters," Spencer said shyly.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow," Hotch smiled as he pulled on his socks.

Spencer shook his head, "You don't have to do that."

"But I want to," Hotch got up and kissed Spencer on the forehead, "I'm gonna call JJ and let her know we're coming tonight," Hotch walked out in the hall and dialed JJ's number.

"Hotch?" JJ answered the phone.

"Hey, JJ, Spencer, Jack and I are coming tonight if the invitation is still open," Hotch replied.

"Of course! Garcia's already here, Emily is on her way and Morgan will be here later, so whenever you get here is fine," JJ responded with a smile in her voice.

"Great, see you then," Hotch hung up and walked back into his room.

Spencer was fully dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, hanging his head, his wet curls falling in front of his face.

"You alright?" Hotch asked as he walked up to Spencer.

Spencer snapped up his head, "Oh yeah, I'm fine, still waking up is all."

"I'm going to go check on Jack and see if he needs help getting ready," Hotch said as he placed a kissed on the top of Spencer's head.

Spencer nodded and rose to his feet, following Hotch out of the room.

"Hey, Jack, you ready buddy?" Hotch asked as he walked into his son's bedroom.

Jack was drawing at his table and looked up when his father walked in.

"You ready or do you need to change at all?" Hotch asked again.

"I'm ready," Jack said as he came out from behind his table. He was fully dressed and already had his shoes on.

"Alright, let's go," Hotch said as he started towards the stairs, Spencer and Jack following close behind him.

8888888888888

"So, Spencer, did you ever get your license?" Hotch asked they were driving to JJ's.

Spencer shook his head, "No, I couldn't afford a car so I didn't bother getting one."

"We need to get you a license if you're going to stay home alone with Jack while I'm at work," Hotch informed him as he focused on the road.

"But I don't know how to drive," Spencer held onto himself.

"We'll start practicing tomorrow," Hotch smiled, taking Spencer's hand in his.

Spencer smiled back at Hotch even though he was secretly scared out of his mind about driving.

"Can I practice driving?" Jack asked from the backseat.

"Sure, in 9 years," Hotch laughed as his son pouted in the back.

When they arrived at JJ's house, Will answered the door.

"Well good evening, Aaron," Will smiled as he welcomed them inside, "Nice to see you, Jack. And this must be Spencer. Nice to meet you. I'm Will, JJ's fiancé."

"Nice to meet you as well," Spencer did his best to sound friendly. He still felt uncomfortable meeting new people.

"Hotch, Spencer! Come on in!" JJ poked her head into the breezeway.

Hotch grabbed Spencer's hand and walked him to the living room while Jack ran up the stairs to Henry's room.

Emily sat on the couch while JJ and Garcia sat in separate arm chairs.

"Have a seat," Emily smiled, patting the couch next to her. Spencer and Hotch obeyed, Hotch sitting next to Emily and Spencer sitting on his left.

"So how have you been doing honey? Adjusting to your new surroundings?" JJ sweetly asked, taking a sip from her wine glass.

"I'm still getting used to things, but I've been enjoying myself," Spencer looked over at Hotch to see he had a trace of a smile on his face.

Emily noticed the exchange of looks and decided to jump the gun, "So Spencer, is Hotch your first?"

"Emily!" JJ shouted in astonishment, she could not believe her friend just asked that.

"We were all wondering," Emily defended herself.

Spencer gulped and began sweating; he wasn't sure what would be the honest answer. Yes, Hotch was the first man he made love to, but technically not the first to… do… _that_ to him. He looked over to Hotch who saw the obvious terror in his eyes. Hotch subtly nodded his head, giving Spencer the answer.

"Yes. First everything really. Never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. Never been kissed. Never…" Spencer let it hang in the air; he didn't want to finish the sentence in front of these women.

"Had sex," Emily offered him.

Spencer gulped and nodded curtly.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. Are you uncomfortable with this?" JJ asked, placing a hand on Spencer's knee.

"Well it's a little much for my first casual conversation with you all, but if it's what you want to know, by all means, ask away," Spencer chuckled nervously, running a hand through his lightly damp hair.

The women began conversing amongst themselves so Spencer took this opportunity to turn to Hotch, "Is this what all adults talk about?" Spencer whispered.

Hotch chuckled, "At times, yes. But not always. Just be warned of Emily and Garcia, they're pretty… straight forward. Once Morgan and Dave show up, they tone down a bit, but it still sneaks up once in a while," Hotch wrapped his arm around Spencer, pulling him closer.

"awww," Spencer looked up to see the women making puppy dog eyes at them, gushing over their hugging.

Embarrassed, Spencer buried his face in Hotch's shirt. Hotch ran his fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. Hotch made a face at the women and they laughed in response.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, we didn't mean to embarrass you," JJ said sweetly, bending over closer to Spencer.

Spencer lifted up his head and took a deep breath, calming himself. He sat up and nodded, "It's ok, I am just not used to so much human interaction," Spencer chuckled.

God, Aaron just loved it when Spencer talked like that, it showed just how smart he was, no matter how innocent and childlike he behaved.

"So who tops?" and just like that Emily was at it again.

"You are too into gay men for your own good," Garcia shook her head with a smirk as she sipped her wine.

Emily just shrugged and waited for the answer. When the two men kept looking from one another, not sure if they wanted to answer, Emily threw her hands in the air, "alright, alright. Sorry. That was pushing it…. But I bet it's Hotch."

Hotch buried his face in his hand and shook his head, "Yes, Emily."

Emily wore a proud smile and slumped back into the couch.

"I'm going to go help Will in the kitchen. You care to join me, Hotch?" JJ asked as she rose from her seat.

"Sure," Hotch said as Spencer shifted off of him, "Will you be okay here for a bit?" Hotch asked Spencer.

Spencer nodded and gave Hotch a reassuring smile.

"You, behave," Hotch pointed a finger at Emily as he got up off the couch.

"Me? Always," Emily flashed a mischievous grin.

"I mean it," Hotch said with his stone face then turned towards the kitchen.

"So what happened with Spencer today?" JJ asked once they were in the kitchen.

"Well, we ran into Jessica at the fair. She saw us kissing," Hotch said as he filled a glass with water.

"Oh no," JJ covered her mouth with her hand, "How did that go?"

"Not well," Hotch scoffed, "She tried to take Jack away because I wasn't 'fit to be a father,'" Hotch shook his head as he took a swig of water.

"Just because you are with another man?" JJ asked.

"Yep, Haley's family always has been pretty conservative," Hotch answered, "but anyway, a police officer stepped in and ran Jessica off."

JJ shook her head, "now what are you going to do when we're away for work?"

"Leave Jack with Spencer I guess," Hotch suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

"Are you sure that's safe?" JJ asked, "He's an emotional wreck, are you sure he can take care of a child?"

Hotch looked at JJ long and hard, "I know that Jack loves him and he has been doing very well with him. I trust him."

"I understand. But I just think maybe he doesn't trust himself," JJ said sympathetically.

"I know he doesn't, but I'm going to show him that he can trust himself," Hotch smiled as he looked out of the doorway and saw Spencer sitting on the couch, talking with his hands, his mouth moving fast, "and you never know, he could surprise us," Hotch smiled.


	21. Chapter 21

"Hey yo, party people!" Morgan shouted as he let himself into JJ's home.

"Morgan's here," Will said quietly to JJ as he walked out of the kitchen into the foyer, followed closely by JJ.

Hotch shrugged and walked back into the living room, claiming his seat next to Spencer, who nestled into him as soon as he sat down.

"So what did you guys talk about?" Hotch asked Spencer and the girls.

"Spencer here was just telling us some fascinating statistics on serial killers," Emily said sincerely, "I actually didn't know some of that."

Spencer beamed at Emily's comment, causing Hotch to smile as well.

"Hey, guys!" Morgan smiled as he walked in the room. He handed Hotch and Spencer each a beer and sat down in a dining room chair Will had set in the living room.

Spencer looked at the alcohol he had been handed with curious and confused eyes.

"Never drank before, kid?" Morgan asked as he took a swig from his own drink.

Spencer shook his head.

"Here," Morgan reached out his hand and took the bottle from Spencer. He pulled out a bottle opener and popped it open before handing it back to Spencer.

Spencer looked nervously at Hotch who gave him a reassuring nod as he drank his own beer.

Spencer gulped and raised the bottle to his lips, breathing in the burning smell of alcohol. That stench that was once so familiar to him as a child. Spencer let out a breath, allowing his stomach to unclench and took a drink.

The taste was bitter and overwhelming at first. He almost spit it out but noticed the faces around him looking at him. He pursed his lips and swallowed the liquid, smacking his lips at the after taste.

Spencer nodded and smiled at the other adults around him, feeling that he had proven himself.

Morgan gave him a smile and an approving nod as he continued to drink his own beer.

88888888888888888888888888

"So what are you guys doing tomorrow?" JJ asked as Hotch was helping her clean up in the kitchen.

"I'm going to take Spencer shopping for new clothes and probably a hair cut," Hotch answered as he tied the garbage bag.

"If you want, Jack can spend the night here so you and Spencer can have the day to yourselves tomorrow," JJ offered as she closed the dishwasher.

"Really? You don't have to," Hotch shook his head.

"No, seriously, Will and I would be more than happy to!" JJ smiled, placing a hand on Hotch's shoulder, "Really, take a day for yourselves."

"thank you," Hotch smiled in return.

The two walked back out into the living room. Morgan was sitting on the couch talking to Spencer, who was finishing up his 5th- no 6th beer, Hotch noticed.

"Please, 'Dawn of the Dead' is so much better!" Morgan guffawed as Spencer shook his head.

"Absolutely not! The original 'Night of the Living Dead' is by far the greatest zombie movie ever!" Spencer replied confidently.

"Kid, you wouldn't know a good movie if it bit you in the ass!" Morgan laughed loudly, shaking his head.

"Alright boys, settle down," JJ teasingly coaxed as she sat back down in her chair.

"It's getting late, Spencer, you ready to go?" Hotch asked the younger man who was taking the last swig of his beer.

"Sure, but can I get another beer?" Spencer asked as he stood up.

Hotch lunged forward quickly as Spencer began to sway, "I think you had enough for tonight," Hotch laughed as Spencer got back to his feet.

Spencer pouted but followed Hotch to the door as carefully as possible.

"Goodnight, JJ! Thanks for watching Jack, what time do you want us to pick him up?" Hotch called from the edge of the foyer.

"Anytime you want to, you just enjoy your day," JJ smiled and waved as the two men made their way to the door.

Hotch and Spencer smiled as they walked out the door. Hotch grabbed on to Spencer's hip and guided him down the stoop to the car.

Hotch had stopped after one beer, knowing he would be driving but that didn't stop Spencer from downing 6 beers of his own.

Hotch opened the car door for Spencer and helped him in before closing the door behind him.

Spencer clumsily buckled his seat belt as Hotch slipped into his seat.

Hotch shook his head at the drunken man next to him, "You should've taken it easier on your first time drinking," he chuckled.

Spencer stuck his tongue out at Hotch and slumped into his seat.

Hotch and Spencer remained silent for most of the ride. When they were about a mile from the house, Hotch felt something on his leg. He smiled when he realized it was Spencer's hand gently rubbing his knee. He focused back on the road, allowing the younger man to rest his hand there. Suddenly, Hotch jumped as he felt Spencer's hand move farther north, gently rubbing his inner thigh.

"Spencer, what ar- OH," Hotch gripped the wheel tightly as Spencer began rubbing Hotch's crotch through his clothes.

Hotch strained himself to keep his focus on the road. He was almost home. He fought with himself to remain every bit of composure he had left with all the blood rushing down to his groin.

Hotch sighed as he pulled into his driveway. He quickly shut off the car and pulled off his seatbelt. Spencer ripped off his own seat belt and jumped into Hotch's lap, grinding their clothed erections together.

"Ah, fuck Spencer. Wait til we're inside," Hotch moaned as Spencer devoured his neck with his tongue. Hotch blindly reached for the door handle and pushed open the door. He grabbed Spencer's hips and pushed him up.

He managed to get Spencer off of him and out of the car. He slammed the door shut and rushed to the door.

Once they were inside, Spencer lunged himself onto Hotch, ripping his shirt off in the process.

Spencer went back to kissing Hotch's neck, palming Hotch's clothed erection.

"God damn it, Spencer," Hotch gasped, biting his lip.

Spencer pulled back and pulled off his own shirt. Before he could do anything else, Hotch lifted Spencer onto his hips and carried him up the stairs.

They stumbled into the bedroom, knocking over a lamp in the process.

Hotch slipped Spencer off of his hips and panted, "You've been a naughty boy..."

Spencer smirked, "What are you gonna do about it?"

"I might have to arrest you…"

"If you can catch me first..." Spencer ran around the room and giggled, running while Hotch chased him. He grabbed Spencer by the hips and swung him into the air.

"Gotcha!"

"No!" Spencer screamed and laughed, wiggling around. Spencer jolted as he felt a cold set of handcuffs slap onto his wrists as he tried to escape.

"You're under arrest."

"And what are my charges?"

"For being too sexy to bear…" Hotch pushed Spencer against the wall and ground into his hips, "time for your punishment..." Hotch pushed on Spencer's shoulders, his hands cuffed behind his back, dropping him to his knees.

Hotch undid his pants, pulling his hardened member out and playing with Spencer's hair as Hotch waited for him to take him into his mouth. Spencer opened wide and took him in, sucking slowly. Hotch groaned as his cock twitched in Spencer's mouth, causing Spencer to moan. Hotch thrust forward as Spencer wiggled his tongue around on Hotch's length. Spencer pulled away, a slight string of saliva hanging from his lips as he did so.

"You need further punishment..." Hotch smiled, dropping to his knees in front of Spencer.

"Yes, Agent Hotchner..." Spencer nodded.

Hotch shoved Spencer over and removed his pants, wetting two of his fingers and sliding them into him. Spencer gasped and moaned, bucking his hips to pull Hotch's fingers in deeper. Hotch scissored Spencer, causing him to moan louder.

After pulling of his own pants, Hotch positioned himself. He thrust into Spencer, causing them both to gasp. Spencer tried to sit up, but the handcuffs were preventing him from doing much at all. He wiggled and moaned as Hotch thrust deeper, holding Spencer's hips up as he did so. Hotch moved faster, ramming into Spencer's prostate, causing Spencer to scream Hotch's name loudly. Hotch groaned and bent down, kissing Spencer softly.

"I love you..." Hotch whispered, grinding his hips against Spencer, keeping himself inside of his body.

"Mm...I … you... ah..." Spencer bit his lip, feeling heat rise to his groin.

Hotch smiled and thrust harder, causing Spencer to reach his end, screaming and moaning Hotch's name as he came. Hotch groaned and thrust a final time, cumming inside of Spencer. He slowed down and finally pulled out, sitting beside Spencer with a loud sigh. The two lay side by side, gasping for air.

"Damn, I'm gonna have to get you drunk for often," Hotch laughed a breathy laugh as he stared at the ceiling, his heart racing incredibly fast.


	22. Chapter 22

Spencer cleared his throat, trying to get Hotch's attention, "Aaron, do you have the key?"

Hotch laughed and grabbed the key off of the nightstand. Spencer rolled on his stomach so Hotch could unlock the cuffs. Once he was released, Spencer got up off the floor and sat on the bed. Hotch returned the key to its place and sat down on the bed next to Spencer, his back turned to him.

Suddenly, Hotch heard a click and felt cold metal against his wrist. He turned around to find that Spencer had handcuffed his wrist to the bed post.

"I'm not done with you yet," Spencer smiled, pulling Hotch onto his back on the bed.

"Oh really now?" Hotch smirked as Spencer began placing kisses all up and down his body.

Spencer nodded and sat down on Hotch's chest, his length just an inch away from Hotch's mouth.

Hotch swooped his mouth down and took Spencer in all at once, causing the younger man to buck his hips, forcing himself deeper into Hotch's moist cavern.

Hotch swirled his tongue around the swollen head, making Spencer shudder with delight.

Spencer pulled himself out of Hotch's mouth and back up so he was between Hotch's legs.

Hotch looked down at Spencer, thinking he had an idea of what Spencer wanted.

"Do you want to top me, Spencer?" Hotch breathed out longingly. He had never done this before, but he was willing to for Spencer.

Spencer nodded and stuck his fingers in his mouth before placing one at Hotch's entrance. He worked it slowly and carefully. Even drunk, Spencer was still gentle and smidge afraid of doing something wrong.

Hotch gasped as Spencer made it past the ring of muscle, his entire finger now inside of him. Spencer moved it around, looking for the spot that Hotch was able to find so easily within him.

Hotch moaned loudly and bucked his hips into the air as Spencer's finger grazed his prostate.

"Holy shit," Hotch gasped, "no wonder you like this so much."

Spencer smirked and added another finger, stretching Hotch more.

"It's good Spencer," Hotch nodded, biting his lip.

Spencer positioned himself at Hotch's entrance and slowly pushed in, gasping as Hotch's tightness surrounded him.

Hotch yelled out in pain as Spencer pushed inside of him, "FUCK!" Hotch threw his head onto his pillow, tears threatening to roll down his face.

Spencer began thrusting his hips, pushing himself farther into Hotch, "Take it like a man Aaron," Spencer laughed as he buried himself inside of his lover.

Hotch finally began to feel pleasure and moaned as the drunk Spencer slammed into his prostate, causing Hotch to moan in delight. This wasn't his sweet, gentle Spencer; this was someone he hadn't met before, but at this moment, Hotch really didn't care.

"Oh God!" Hotch moaned as Spencer began moving faster and faster. With his free hand, Hotch grasped his cock and began pumping it in time with Spencer's thrusts.

"Fuck," Spencer cried out as Hotch's hole clenched around him, "I'm gonna- AHHH!" Spencer screamed as he filled Hotch with his seed.

Hotch shuddered at the feeling of Spencer spilling inside of him, feeling his own end nearing. Spencer gave a few final thrusts as Hotch pumped himself harder and harder, finally cumming on his own stomach as he let out a yell.

Spencer collapsed on top of Hotch, breathing heavily.

"How was it?" Spencer spoke into Hotch's chest.

"Holy... Fuck," Hotch said each word with a separate breath.

Spencer sat up and grabbed the key, releasing Hotch's wrist. Hotch grabbed Spencer with both arms and hugged him tightly.

888888888888888888888888888

"Spencer? Spencer! Wake up!" Hotch shook his younger lover, pulling him out of his slumber.

Spencer slowly opened his eyes, but quickly closed them again as the harsh light coming in from the window made his head pulse in pain.

"It's noon, get up," Hotch shook Spencer again as he watched the younger man pull a pillow over his face.

Spencer heard Hotch's footsteps fade and the stairs creak. He settles back into the bed and went back to sleep. He was pulled into reality again as he heard the sound of a something being set down on the dresser.

He opened his eyes and saw Hotch standing next to the nightstand, where he had just placed a mug of coffee.

"My remedy for hangovers," Hotch explained as he helped Spencer sit up. He offered him the drink, laughing as the young man made a face at the taste.

"Drink." Hotch commanded. Spencer obeyed and drank the strange liquid.

"Did last night really happen?" Spencer asked as he smacked his lips.

Hotch smiled and nodded, "yes, and it was wonderful! You're strangely confident when you're drunk," Hotch laughed.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Spencer asked sheepishly.

"There's my Spencer," Hotch smiled as he saw the young man's unsure demeanor return.

"I'm always yours," Spencer smiled before taking another drink of the liquid.

888888888888888888

"Aaron, I don't know what size of pants I wear," Spencer whispered as they walked into the store together.

Hotch eyed Spencer up and down, trying to measure him. When they reached the jeans, Hotch grabbed the smallest size and handed them to Spencer, "try these."

Hotch led Spencer to the dressing room and waited for him to try on the pants. A minute later, Spencer emerged wearing the jeans. They were a little baggy but Hotch knew they weren't going to find any small enough for his waist.

"We'll get you a belt," Hotch nodded, allowing Spencer to change back into his own pants.

Once Spencer was changed, Hotch led him around the store and allowed him to pick out any pants he liked the style of. Spencer picked out 3 new pairs of jeans and a pair of khakis.

"I'd say you're a small when it comes to shirts," Hotch said as they walked into the shirt section. Hotch looked around at the shirts in the men's section and shook his head, "come here," Hotch waved his hand for Spencer to follow him as he walked into the young men's section.

"You're only 22, and you have small body and young features so something here may suit you better," Hotch explained as they moved around the store.

Spencer picked out a couple of V-necks and 2 cardigans. He also choose a couple of cloth belts, he refused to touch the leather ones.

"With these clothes, you are going to look like my teenage son," Hotch laughed and shook his head as they were in the checkout line.

"You offered to buy me clothes," Spencer laughed.

Hotch shrugged and paid for the clothes. Spencer cringed at the number on the register but was reassured by Hotch's gentle hand rubbing his shoulder, "it's alright."

After they left the store, they went to a barber shop to see about Spencer's hair.

"I could cut it off up to your ears," the barber said, placing his hands on Spencer's head.

"Not too short," Hotch shook his head, "Just a trim really."

"His hair is pretty damaged. I'm going to have to cut it a little shorter than it is," the barber replied, "but I'll leave it as long as I can while still fixing the damage."

"Thank you," Hotch nodded.

Spencer took a deep breath and waited for the man to start cutting his hair. It had been a while since he had it cut. He had grown used to his long hair. He watched as the first curl fell from his head.

"What do you think?" the barber asked, spinning Spence around to face Hotch.

"It looks great!" Hotch beamed as he looked at Spencer's new, cleaned up hair that didn't quite touch his shoulders but still fell in loose curls.

Spencer ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn't as thick and bushy as it previously had been but soft and silky. He liked the feeling of it.

8888888888888

"wow Spencer, look at you!" JJ smiled as she opened the door to Hotch and Spencer. The men had returned home to drop off their purchases and allowing Spencer to change into his new clothes.

Spencer was wearing a dark red, stone-washed V-neck and blue jeans.

"You look 10 years younger!" JJ laughed.

"I look 12?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"More like 17," JJ smiled, ushering them into the house.

"Great, now I definitely look like your dad," Hotch grumbled as he walked in the house.

"Oh hush," JJ swatted Hotch on the back, "older brother maybe," she laughed at Hotch's raised eyebrow.

"How was Jack?" Hotch asked to change the subject.

"He was great, as usual," JJ smiled.

"DADDY!" Jack screamed as he ran down the stairs, jumping into Hotch's arms at the bottom.

"Hey bud, you have fun?" Hotch asked his son.

Jack nodded his head and smiled.

"Thanks for keeping him JJ," Hotch smiled, placing a light kiss on JJ's cheek.

"Anytime Hotch," JJ smiled in return.


	23. Chapter 23

"Well, I was thinking we'd go out to dinner tonight, but it's only 3:00. What do you want to do until supper, Jack?" Hotch asked his son.

"The mall?" Jack said hopefully. There was an arcade that he really enjoyed and a new Lego store he had been dying to go to.

"You got it," Hotch said as they pulled out of JJ's driveway.

On the ride to the mall, Jack chattered away in the back seat about what he and Henry did the night before.

"And I told Henry about the TARDIS, but he didn't believe me! He's too little to understand!" Jack shook his head as the men in the front laughed at his hyper rant.

"You corrupted my child," Hotch joked to Spencer.

"Doctor Who is not corruption, it is a way of life," Spencer explained defensively.

Hotch shook his head and turned back to the road.

8888888888888

"Alright, hold Spencer's hand, Jack," Hotch instructed his son as they got out of the vehicle.

Jack grabbed ahold of Spencer's hand and followed him to the mall entrance.

"Spencer, do you want to look around some while I take Jack to the arcade?" Hotch asked as they entered the mall.

Spencer shook his head, "nah, I'll stick with you guys."

Spencer walked through the mall alongside Jack and Hotch, keeping his hands in his pockets the entire time.

As they walked, Spencer noticed a few girls looking at him along the way. He received smiles and flirty waves from several girls who looked as young as 14 and some as old as 30.

Spencer was looking around, confused by the attention he was receiving. Did he have something in his teeth? A booger in his nose? Toilet paper on his shoe?

Spencer was so distracted, he didn't notice when he bumped into a girl.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, miss," Spencer said, making sure the girl was alright.

"Oh, it's no problem," The girl smiled as she looked at Spencer, "I'm Kate," she stuck out her hand to Spencer.

Spencer took a deep breath and accepted her hand reluctantly, "I'm Spencer."

"So, uh, I think you're really cute and was wondering if you'd like to go get some coffee, maybe?" the girl twisted her hair with her finger.

"uh, well," Spencer stammered, not sure what to say. He looked up and saw Hotch staring at the girl, piercing her with daggers.

"Aw, shy?" Katie brushed her hand down Spencer's arm.

"Excuse me, young lady, how old are you?" Hotch asked the girl almost harshly.

"Uh, 17, what does it matter to you?" Katie asked rudely.

"It might interest you to know that he's 22, over 18 and 5 years older than you…" Hotch replied smugly.

"So?" the girl scoffed at Hotch.

"and he's taken," Hotch answered.

"I don't see his 'girlfriend' around," the girl retorted.

"Who said he had a girlfriend?" Hotch raised an eyebrow mockingly.

"You said he was 'taken'" the girl snidely replied.

"He is," Hotch finally moved in next to Spencer, wrapping his arm around him, placing his hand on Spencer's hip and kissing his forehead.

"Ew! You pervert, you're old enough to be his dad!" the girl stuck out her tongue and ran off.

"Aaron…" Spencer looked at Hotch.

"I'm sorry, but she was being a bitch," Hotch whispered so Jack wouldn't hear.

Spencer smirked and shook his head, "You're jealous."

"No I'm not!" Hotch retorted.

"Mmmmhmm," Spencer hummed with a smirk.

"Shut up," Hotch gently shoved Spencer to the side.

Spencer laughed and held onto Hotch's hand, Jack grabbing his other.

On their way to the arcade, the couple was met with a few jeers and nasty looks. Spencer cringed every time he heard "fag" "queer" or "homo" but Hotch just took it in stride. He had been around long enough to know what anyone said didn't matter.

Upon reaching the arcade, Jack ran straight for the shooting games. There were 4 machines in a row, all but one were occupied by older boys who looked to be about 13. Jack could barely see over the control panel but he didn't seem to care.

Hotch and Spencer stayed within sight of Jack.

"Ever been to an arcade?" Hotch asked as he looked around at the games.

"Not for a while. I was probably 13 the last time I went to one," Spencer shrugged, "but THIS was my favorite game!" Spencer smiled as he walked up to a skee ball game.

"Out of the entire arcade, skee ball was your favorite?" Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"All the video games are so basic and simple a 5 year old could beat them. This game requires aerodynamics and precision. I was the record holder at my arcade for years," Spencer smiled.

"Well, let's play," Hotch said as he inserted a quarter into the game, causing the balls to come rolling down the ramp.

Spencer picked up one of the small orbs and lined himself up, evaluating his target.

Hotch stood back and chuckled at the younger man's concentration.

Spencer rolled the ball and made it into the 100 point slot in the corner of the game; the highest possible score.

Spencer turned to Hotch and gave him a smug smirk. Hotch shook his head and inserted a quarter into the machine next to him. Hotch grabbed a ball and rolled it up the ramp. He scored 50 points.

Spencer let out a small snort, receiving a glare from Hotch. Spencer just smiled in return and threw another ball, scoring another 100 points.

Hotch shook his head and grabbed another ball. He lined himself up like he saw Spencer do and rolled the ball. He scored 25 points.

Spencer burst out laughing, causing Hotch to playfully smack his ass and whisper in his ear with a chuckle, "shut up and behave."

"Make me," Spencer giggled as he took aim again and rolled the ball. Once again, he scored 100 points.

Hotch shook his head and rolled his eyes. He turned back to his game and rolled the ball gain, scoring 50 again.

"You just don't have the magic touch," Spencer teased as he scored another 100 points.

"Oh really?" Hotch raised a brow and smirked. He pulled Spencer up to his body and ground his leg into Spencer's groin, causing him to gasp.

"We're in public, Aaron," Spencer hissed at Hotch, looking around to see if anyone had noticed.

"Well if you behaved, we wouldn't have this problem," Hotch smirked, turning back to his game.

Hotch scored another 50 and quickly grabbed another ball, scoring 25.

Spencer watched and bit his laugh, trying to stifle his laughter. He decided to concentrate on his own game. He scored three 100 pointers in a row.

"I have 2 more and then a perfect score," Spencer taunted as Hotch rolled another 50.

Hotch scowled at Spencer and grabbed another ball. HE rolled it and scored 75.

"HA!" Hotch threw his hands in the air.

Spencer chuckled and shook his head. He rolled his second to last ball and got another 100.

Hotch growled and grabbed his last ball. He steadied himself and lined up. Spencer watched him quietly, waiting.

Hotch rolled the ball. He held his breath as it bounced off the back of the board next to the 100 point hole. It was about to go in the 100 point hole but bounced off the rim and fell in the 25 point hole.

Spencer laughed and rolled his last ball, scoring yet another 100 points, bringing him to a perfect game.

"Fuck you," Hotch sneered.

"Promise?" Spencer smirked and raised a brow.

Hotch laughed and ruffled Spencer's hair.

"Daddy, can we go to the Lego store now?" Jack walked up behind his dad ad hugged his leg.

"You ready, Spence?" Hotch looked up at Spencer.

Spencer smiled and nodded.

Hotch grabbed his hand and walked them out of the arcade, this time, Spencer didn't care what jeers he heard; he was happy.


	24. Chapter 24

"Wow!" Spencer exclaimed under his breath.

Hotch looked at him with a smile, "Never been to a Lego store before?"

Spencer shook his head, "No. I didn't know they had them," Spencer said as he looked around the store in awe at all the different colors, sizes, and shapes of Legos that covered the walls.

Hotch was absolutely mesmerized by the childlike wonderment on Spencer's face. Hotch felt like he wanted to show this man the world.

Jack released Spencer's hand and took off into the store, looking at all the different Lego sets available. He only owned two sets so far; a Harry Potter one Garcia had bought him for his birthday, and a Batman one his dad picked out for him the previous Christmas.

"Spencer? Which one do you think I should get?" Jack asked Spencer as the man approached him.

Spencer scanned the sets on the shelves lining the walls. Suddenly, Spencer gasped and his mouth dropped open and his eyes got wide. Slowly, he lifted his hand and shakily pointed at a set right in front of him, "That one," He finally managed to croak out.

Jack tilted his head and looked at Spencer's strange behavior. He followed his gaze to what Spencer was pointing at. It was a Star Wars Death Star set.

"Whoa! What is that?" Jack exclaimed as he looked at the toy.

"You've never seen Star Wars?" Spencer asked almost judgmentally.

Jack shook his head, causing Spencer to whip his head around to Hotch, "Your son has never seen Star Wars?"

"He's 7," Hotch laughed.

"So? I saw Star Wars when I was 4," Spencer crossed his arms defensively.

Hotch shook his head, "Why am I not surprised?"

Spencer stuck out his tongue at Hotch and grabbed the Death Star set off the shelf, "What do you think of it, Jack?"

"I like it, it looks really cool!" Jack smiled at Spencer, "Can I get that one, Daddy?" Jack looked up at his father.

Hotch sighed, "Alright, boys, you can get it," he laughed as Spencer scrunched his nose at being called "boy."

888888888888888888888888888

"It'll be fine in the car, Spencer, come on!" Hotch was hollering for Spencer to get a move on as they were walking form the car to the restaurant.

"Hold on," Spencer shouted back as he threw a blanket over the Lego set, "ok, we're good."

Hotch rolled his eyes, "No one is going to steal it, Spencer."

Spencer scoffed, "Please, if I saw that unattended in a vehicle, I'd do everything in my power to get that thing."

Hotch chuckled and shook his head as he reached for Spencer's hand.

Spencer took Hotch's hand in his and then held Jack's in his other.

As they walked into the restaurant, a few people turned to look at them curiously. The hostess walked up, "How many?"

"Just three," Hotch answered.

The hostess smiled and grabbed the menus, walking them to their table, "You have a beautiful son," the woman smiled at Hotch and Spencer after she looked at Jack.

"Thank you," Hotch smiled in return.

"Your waitress will be with you in a moment," the hostess smiled again before walking away.

"I wish more people were like her," Spencer said thoughtfully.

Hotch nodded, "it would make the world a better place, but sadly that's not the world we live in. There's always going to be people trying to bring you down, you just have to learn to live for yourself and not others."

Spencer smiled sweetly as he reached across the table and took Hotch's hand in his.

"My name's Rachel, I'll be your waitress for this evening. Can I start you off with anything to drink?" a young dark haired woman walked up to the table and looked at Hotch.

"Coke for me, lemonade for the little man here, and Spencer?" Hotch turned to Spencer.

"Dr. Pepper," Spencer smiled at the waitress.

"Alright, I'll get those right out," the waitress smiled as she left.

"So what do you want, Jack?" Hotch asked across the table to Jack who was sitting in the booth with Spencer.

"Chicken strips!" Jack answered happily.

"Spencer?" Hotch turned his head to the right.

"Grilled cheese," Spencer smiled a crooked smile as he looked at Hotch.

Hotch shook his head, "you really are a kid, aren't you?"

Spencer shrugged, "So what are you getting mister smarty pants?"

"Steak," Hotch replied flatly, "the man's meal."

Spencer snorted and covered his face with his hand causing Hotch to kick him lightly under the table.

"Bad influence," Spencer shook his head at Hotch, shooting a glance at Jack.

"You gentlemen ready?" the waitress returned, setting their drinks on the table.

"Yes, chicken strips for the little man, grilled cheese for the slightly bigger man, and then steak for me," Hotch smiled as he handed the menus back to the waitress.

"ok, I'll get that in for you," the waitress smiled.

"_slightly _bigger?" Spencer raised a brow at Hotch.

Hotch shrugged with a smirk. Spencer kicked him under the table causing Hotch to laugh.

8888888888888888888888

"Do you think you are going to be ok with Jack tomorrow?" Hotch asked as he was pulling the sheets back on the bed.

"Should be no trouble. He'll probably finally see Star Wars," Spencer teased as he lay down in the bed.

Hotch laughed and shook his head as he turned off the lamp and lay down next to Spencer.

Spencer snuggled in close to Hotch, resting his head on his chest. Hotch placed a kiss on the top of Spencer's head and closed his eyes.

Spencer began absent mindedly tracing circles on Hotch's t-shirt clad stomach. Hotch chuckled at the feeling causing Spencer to stop, "sorry."

"No, it's ok. It felt nice," Hotch responded.

"Well, I do believe there was an offer in the air from earlier," Spencer teased, referring to the arcade.

"Is that so?" Hotch's mouth lifted up into a soft smile, "I don't know, I'm really tired," Hotch said with a yawn, "ohh…" Hotch lurched as he felt Spencer's soft lips graze his neck as he began to gently suck on the sensitive skin.

Spencer began lightly moving his hand up and down Hotch's still clothed chest, making sure to brush his fingertips across Hotch's nipples. Hotch let out a pleased moan at the touch.

"Still too tired?" Spencer teased as he placed a kiss on Hotch's Adam's apple.

"Oh God," Hotch moaned as he felt the heat rising in his groin. He gently pushed Spencer off of him and threw off his own shirt.

Spencer began placing light kisses all the way down Hotch's torso, grabbing his waist band as he reached his hips and pulled off his boxers, tossing them to the floor.

Spencer placed a kiss on the tip of Hotch's cock before slipping him into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. Hotch groaned and grabbed a fistful of Spencer's hair, forcing him down onto his groin. Hotch couldn't help but think about how he didn't want to put his own pleasure before Spencer's, but God it felt so damned good. Spencer continued to bob his head up and down with more vigor as Hotch thrust his hips into the air with a moan as Spencer lightly nipped at his skin with his teeth.

Spencer popped Hotch out of his mouth and stood at the edge of the bed. He stripped off his own shirt revealing his pale, thin body. He carefully stepped out of his shorts, revealing his proud erection and pale, bony legs.

Hotch smiled and sat up slightly, admiring the younger man's slim frame. He gestured for Spencer to get on his lap, and so he did. Spencer perched himself above the older man, sitting down so their nude bodies were touching. His erection rubbed against Hotch's causing them both to moan slightly. The older man ran his hands down Spencer's sides, stopping at his hips. He pushed and pulled the younger man back and forth, causing them to rock together in a riding motion. Spencer pulled himself forward, allowing Hotch's erection to sit behind him and rub against his backside. Hotch moaned, wishing he could feel the tight heat of his lover. He watched as Spencer sucked on two of his fingers, placing them behind him and fingering himself above Hotch. The younger man moaned as he thrust his fingers inside of himself. Hotch watched in amazement, his cock becoming moist with pre-come as Spencer got off on himself. The older man bucked his hips, watching as Spencer removed the digits and replaced them with his cock. He gasped at the warmth and tightness as it engulfed his length.  
>Spencer moaned and began bouncing up and down, screaming quietly as Hotch's cock pressed against his prostate.<p>

"S-Spencer..." Hotch groaned and rubbed the younger man's hips, wishing that the feeling would never end.

"Aaron!" he moved faster, holding onto his lover's hand as he did so. "Mm.." he whined as he felt himself about to come. "Not yet..." he whined, enjoying the feeling of how big Hotch was.

"You're making me come..." Hotch's breathing picked up as Spencer squeezed around him.

"Please, Aaron...Fuck me..." he looked as if he were about to cry, and thus, Hotch rolled over and began pounding in and out of the younger man.

"Oh, Spencer..." Hotch thrust deeper, trying to delay his orgasm in hopes of being the stronger one.

"More..More...More!" Spencer screamed and arched his back, reaching his climax. "Aaron!" he raked his nails across Hotch's back, moaning loudly as Hotch groaned and came inside of him.

"Oh fuck..." he said, pressing his face into Spencer's neck, thrusting harder until his orgasm began to die down.

The two men lay side by side on the bed, breathing raggedly as they tried to catch their breath.

"Confidence level…" Hotch gasped, "increased… 10 fold… fuck."

"I'm still not confident… I just love you," Spencer said, still catching his breath.


	25. Chapter 25

"Spencer, Spencer, wake up," Hotch gently shook his sleeping lover, "come on babe, I have to go to work."

Spencer groaned sleepily and stirred at the sound of Hotch's voice, "huh?"

"Babe, you're on top of me," Hotch chuckled, still gently shaking Spencer.

"Oh, sorry," Spencer mumbled, rolling over and off of Hotch. Hotch sighed with relief as Spencer's small weight was lifted off of him. Spencer rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 7:00 am.

"I have to be at work by 8:00," Hotch explained as he sat up and stretched. Spencer nodded and dropped his head back onto the pillow, closing his eyes. Hotch shook his head and chuckled at the young man as he fell back asleep. Hotch, unfortunately, did not have that luxury. He stretched one last time and got up to go to the bathroom.

Switching on the light in the bathroom, Hotch studied himself in the mirror. He kept his shirt off but had put on his boxers before going to sleep. His pale skin around his shoulders and neck had small bruises blemishing it. Hotch chuckled and shook his head, turning to the shower to turn on the water. As he was waiting for the water to heat up, he half expected Spencer to come and interrupt him like he had last time, but much to his disappointment, he didn't.

Hotch slipped off his boxers and stepped under the hot water, sighing at the sensation as the hot droplets fell down his body.

10 minutes later, Hotch stepped out of the shower, hissing as the cold air engulfed his body. Hotch rubbed his body dry with a towel then ruffled his hair with it before walking out into his bedroom, completely naked with the towel wrapped around his shoulders.

Hotch looked to the bed and smiled; Spencer was fast asleep, curled up in a ball, his shoulders tucked in under his chin. Hotch sat down next to the young man. He gently lifted his hand and smoothed Spencer's hair, gliding his hand down his face, caressing it. Spencer stirred at the touch, moving his face against Hotch's hand. Hotch smiled and removed his hand from Spencer's face, rising to his feet.

Hotch pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and a pair of his work slacks. He carelessly tossed to towel that had been around his shoulders onto the floor, replacing it with a plain white under shirt. He sat back down on the bed to pull on his trouser socks, then his shoes. He went to his closet and grabbed a white button up, slipping it on over his under shirt. Hotch moved to his tie rack and studied the multiple ties he had. He selected his favorite one; a red silk tie, and tied it into a Windsor. He grabbed his suit jacket and walked out of the bedroom.

88888888888888888888

Spencer woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. Groggily, he sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He was wearing a pair of shorts but his torso was completely bare. Finding his shirt on the floor, Spencer got up off the bed and slipped the shirt on over his head. He glanced over at the clock and noticed it was 7:30. Sleepily, he found his way to the door and down the stairs.

Walking into the kitchen, Spencer saw Hotch, already in his work clothes, standing at the stove.

"Morning," Hotch turned and smiled at Spencer.

"Morning," Spencer yawned, sitting at the table. Hotch walked over to the table and sat a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. He put his own plate on the table opposite him and sat down.

"Sleep well?" Hotch asked as he dug into his eggs.

Spencer nodded as he pushed his eggs around on his plate absent-mindedly.

"You gonna eat?" Hotch asked with his mouth full.

Spencer shrugged, "Just not hungry right away in the mornings."

Hotch nodded; he knew several people like that, "Well you can eat it later," Hotch smiled as Spencer put his fork down, "So you gonna be okay with Jack today?"

Spencer nodded, "We'll be fine," he smiled as he took a drink of the orange juice that had been sitting on the table when he got there.

"Alright, but promise you'll call if you need anything," Hotch looked at Spencer for reassurance.

Spencer nodded, "I promise I will."

"And since you ARE a consultant for the FBI, if we need help on a case, we'll be sure to call you," Hotch winked at Spencer.

"I'd be happy to help," Spencer smiled.

Hotch looked at his watch, "well, I better get going," he got up and placed his plate in the sink. He walked back over to Spencer and placed a kiss on his forehead. Spencer grabbed his neck and pulled his lips to his own, kissing him passionately.

After pulling their lips apart, Hotch mused, "I love you."

"I love you too," Spencer smiled as Hotch made his way to the door.

As soon as he heard the door click shut behind Hotch, Spencer got up and threw the contents off his plate into the trash before running up the stairs to get dressed.

When he emerged from the bedroom now wearing one of his new v-necks and a new pair of jeans, Spencer saw Jack walking down the stairs.

"Hey, Jack," Spencer called after him.

"Spencer!" Jack shouted as he ran back up the stairs, throwing himself at Spencer.

"Careful," Spencer chuckled as he balanced himself, "So what do you normally have for breakfast?" Spencer asked as Jack took his hand.

"Oatmeal and orange juice," Jack smiled as they descended the stairs.

When they got to the kitchen, Jack retrieved the oatmeal for Spencer.

"You don't know how to make this by chance, do you?" Spencer asked as he flipped the box over in his fingers.

Jack shook his head, "Daddy always made it for me."

Spencer puffed out his cheeks and exhaled in frustration. He pulled out a packet and read the instructions carefully.

Doesn't seem too difficult, Spencer thought to himself. He grabbed a bowl and emptied the packet into it for pouring a cup of water into the bowl. He placed it in the microwave and turned it on.

"That wasn't too hard," Spencer smiled as he went to the fridge to grab the orange juice, pouring himself and Jack each a glass.

As he was taking a sip of his orange juice, Spencer heard a loud pop and a small bang. He ran over to the microwave and opened the door. The clumpy substance had exploded all over the inside of the microwave.

"Uhhhh, Jack? Do you want some cold cereal instead?" Spencer asked, trying hard to hide his embarrassment.

Jack laughed and went to the pantry, grabbing a box of Frosted Flakes.

"Shit," Spencer said under his breath as he dropped the hot bowl back onto the glass plate in the microwave. He grabbed an oven mitt off of the oven handle and grabbed the bowl again, carefully setting it in the sink. He grabbed a roll of paper towels and wiped down the inside of the microwave. As he wiped down the glass plate, the oatmeal kept smudging around, causing Spencer grumbled in frustration.

"Daddy takes that plate out and washes it when messes happen in the microwave," Jack explained as he poured milk into his cereal bowl.

Spencer nodded, "Thanks, Jack," he took the plate out of the microwave and set it in the sink along with the bowl.

Jack nodded and began eating his cereal as Spencer began cleaning the dishes in the sink, a chore he was all too familiar with.

"You done?" Spencer asked as he finished cleaning the last plate that was in the sink.

Jack nodded as he tipped his bowl over his mouth, slurping down the last of the milk. He carried his bowl over to Spencer and set it in the sink along with his spoon and glass.

Spencer finished the dishes and joined Jack in the living room, where he was busy with his new Star Wars Lego set. Spencer settled into the couch and turned on the TV. He searched the movie channels that were available for free and by some dumb luck he found one of the Star Wars movies.

"Ready for some Star Wars, Jack?" Spencer smiled as he clicked the play button on the remote.

Jack nodded and turned to the TV, still blindly working on his Legos.

Spencer sat and watched the movie for a bit before getting up and finding a piece of paper and a pen. He sat back down on the couch and began to write a letter.

"Whatchya writing?" Jack tilted his head at Spencer.

"a letter," Spencer answered, still writing.

"To who?" Jack asked.

"My mom."


	26. Chapter 26

_Dear Mother,_

_Sorry I haven't gotten around to writing you until now. I have been trying to adjust to this new life- still working on that. Of course you remember Agent Hotchner? The FBI agent who brought me on his team as a consultant and insisted I move out to Virginia to be a part of the team? Well, I now live with him and his 7 year old son, Jack. His wife has been deceased for about 2 years. Mom… I'm really not sure how to tell you this but… I'm in love with Aaron and I'm pretty sure he loves me too. I'm really sorry I am telling you this over a letter but I don't know when I will be able to fly out and see you again. _

Spencer sighed and sat back, reading over his letter. He wanted to put it gently because he wasn't sure how his mother would react, but he didn't want to beat around the bush.

"Jack, can you quiet down a bit, please? I'm trying to concentrate, sorry," Spencer grimaced, trying not to be too hard on the boy.

Jack nodded and kept his sound effects to a minimum.

_In the fall, I am going to start college to earn my degree so I can be an actual member of the FBI. But until then, Aaron has left me in charge of Jack while he's at work. The boy is quite fond of me, and I am quite fond of him. Maybe I can work something out and fly you out here for a visit? _

"Jack?" Spencer snapped his head up to look at the boy who was making siren sounds. The boy met Spencer's gaze and quieted down.

_It's been only a few days but I really do miss you. I just wanted to let you know that I am alright—_

"GOD DAMN IT JACK, I SAID BE QUIET!" Spencer slammed his hands on the coffee table and stood up.

Jack stumbled back and stared at Spencer wide eyed. Spencer met the boy's gaze and his body immediately fell back down to the couch as he began sobbing.

"I-I-I-I-I'm so sorry Jack," Spencer blubbered in between sobs.

"Spencer?" Jack asked, a little frightened but amazingly concerned for a boy so young, "Are you ok, Spencer?"

"I-I-I sh-sh-ouldn't-t-t have y-y-yelled," Spencer sniffled as the tears streamed down his face.

"Spencer?" Jack walked over to Spencer and climbed on the couch next to him. The young boy placed his hand on Spencer's, "It's ok. Daddy yells at me sometimes, but I don't blame him. I don't blame you too," Jack tried reassuring the man.

Spencer shook his head and turned away from Jack. Jack hopped off the couch and grabbed the house phone.

"Hello? Spencer?" Hotch answered the phone at work, "is everything ok?"

"Daddy, it's me," Jack answered.

"Jack, where's Spencer? Are you ok?" Hotch asked, a little concerned.

"Spencer's crying on the couch. He was writing and I got loud so he yelled at me but now he's crying. He keeps saying sorry," Jack answered, looking from the kitchen into the living room where Spencer sat curled up on the couch, shaking from the sobs.

Back at his office, Hotch got up from his chair and continued talking to Jack, "buddy, do you need me to come home?"

"He won't stop crying," Jack was terrified but he had to stay strong for Spencer and his dad.

"I'm on my way, bud, hold on," Hotch said as he hung up the phone.

"I have to go home, there's been an issue with Spencer," Hotch explained as he quickly passed his team in the bullpen.

JJ, who was sitting at Emily's desk, shot Hotch an "I told you so" look. Hotch just glared at her in response.

"Everything ok?" Garcia asked.

"I'm going to find out," Hotch answered as he made his way to the door.

888888888888888888

"Spencer? Spencer?" Hotch called into the house as he burst through the door. He heard raspy sobs coming from the living room. When he walked in, he saw Spencer curled up on the couch, clutching himself tightly.

"Spencer, babe, what's wrong?" Hotch sat down next to the man and gently rubbed his back.

Spencer tried to pull himself together and looked up at Hotch, "I-I-I'm sorry…"

"Spencer, it's okay, Jack isn't upset. Right, Jack?" Hotch turned to the boy sitting in the arm chair adjacent the couch. Jack nodded his head and walked over to his father and Spencer.

"It's okay Spencer, I'm okay. I'm not mad," Jack smiled at Spencer.

Spencer peeked at Jack and nodded his head. Jack carefully threw his arms around Spencer, embracing him in a hug. Spencer hugged him back and cried into the boy's shoulder.

"So what exactly happened?" Hotch asked, straightening Spencer into a sitting position on the couch.

Spencer took a deep breath and wiped his eyes, "Well… we were watching Star Wars and Jack was playing with his Legos. I decided to write my mom a letter, like I promised I would. Jack was messing around and making shooting sounds and sirens with his mouth and crashing his toys everywhere. I told him to please quiet down but he kept at it and I snapped," Spencer hung his head, staring at his hands as he twiddled his thumbs, "I didn't mean to yell," Spencer shook his head.

Hotch nodded his head and continued rubbing Spencer's back, attempting to sooth him. This was beginning to confirm Hotch's suspicions, but he just wasn't sure yet.

"Hey, Jack, why don't I call Jeremy's mom and see if you can go play at his house today while Spencer rests?" Hotch suggested to his son.

Jack nodded as Hotch pulled out his phone to call.

8888888888888888888888888888

"I'll be back tonight around 6:00, I'll call if I have to stay later," Hotch kissed Spencer on the forehead as he was getting ready to leave once again.

Spencer nodded. He wasn't quite ready to spend the day alone. Oh why did he yell at Jack? Now he's going over to his friend's house for the day leaving Spencer completely alone.

"If you need to run out and get anything, here's some money. Just until you get a job," Hotch smiled, handing over $100 to Spencer.

Spencer nodded and smiled at Hotch, "Thanks."

"No problem, babe. I love you," Hotch kissed Spencer and turned for the door.

Spencer heard the door click shut and he was alone. Sighing, he splayed his body out on the couch and closed his eyes.

When Spencer awoke, he looked at the clock to find that it was noon. He felt the need to go outside for a while. He slipped on his shoes and walked out the door, money in hand.

It was the end of May and the trees and grass were so green, Spencer loved it. The air was warm with a slight breeze, perfect to Spencer. He breathed in the smells of nature and sighed.

Spencer looked around and took in his surroundings so he'd know where to come back to and he set off down the street. He hadn't realized what a nice neighborhood they lived in. The houses were sleek and uniform, all with well-kept yards. Some kids were outside playing while their parents mowed, gardened or sat on their porches watching them.

After a while, Spencer noticed his surroundings start to change. The nice houses turned into somewhat shady homes with trashed yards. There weren't many people outside except for the occasional tough looking man.

Spencer stopped walking ad looked around; he didn't like what he saw.

"Hey buddy!" Spencer spun around and saw a man in a long coat walking towards him.

Spencer froze, he couldn't move. The man came right up to him and tilted his head. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed Spencer's arm, studying the inside of his elbow.

"I got some of that," the man released Spencer and reached into his coat, pulling out a small bottle that Spencer recognized all too well.

"You look lost and scared, bud, you long way from home?" the man asked, still holding the bottle that Spencer couldn't pull his eyes from.

"Uh-uh, no, just up the street a bit," Spencer waved in the direction he had come from.

The man looked Spencer up and down, "Listen, I'll sell it you for pretty cheap. $10 sound good?"

Spencer swallowed and tore his eyes from the bottle. He stared the man in the eye as his heart beat quickened.

The man smiled as Spencer reached into his pocket and pulled out a $10 bill.


	27. Chapter 27

Spencer sat on his and Hotch's bed, spinning the small bottle around in his hand hands. He held the bottle in one hand as his other hand crept onto the bed, feeling the syringe that Spencer retrieved from the secret compartment in his bag. He had been clean for four years, but he had been under close supervision. Not a day went by that he didn't crave the feeling the drug gave him. It made him numb from the pain; it made him forget how horrible life was.

Slowly, Spencer lifted the syringe off the bed and held it in front of his face, studying it as he debated whether or not to do it. What would Hotch say? He'd be upset at least, probably worse. His mother begged him to stop multiple times. She didn't want him to fall victim to a horrible, life-consuming addiction. But what about Jack? Of course he was too young to understand just what it was Spencer was doing, but Spencer felt like he owed Jack to stick that needle in his arm. After yelling at the poor boy, Spencer didn't want to be in touch with reality anymore. The drug calmed him and would make it most likely that he'd never yell at him again.

The moment he yelled at Jack, Spencer's entire world shattered. It made him realize his biggest fear; he was becoming just like his father. For now, it was yelling. Later, he might even up harming the boy, the child of his lover. After that, it could become even worse—but Spencer dared not even think about that. He didn't want to be the man he most despised; he couldn't even bear the thought.

With the images of his face morphing into his father's floated through Spencer's mind, he filled up the syringe with the drug and jabbed it into his arm. Spencer let out a gasp as he pushed down on the button and filled his blood with the drug. His body immediately relaxed at the familiar feeling that he had missed so much.

While he still had some of his sense, Spencer quickly wrapped up the syringe and bottle in a wash rag and stashed it away in his bag; Aaron would be home soon.

Spencer had been gone on his walk for nearly 3 hours. When he finally arrived back at the house around 3:00, he ran up the stairs, found his syringe and had been sitting on the bed for a good 2 hours.

Now completely relaxed and in complete euphoria, Spencer sprawled out on the bed, smiling, and stared at the ceiling as it seemed to just pulsate above his head.

Being so relaxed, Spencer didn't realize how much time had gone by until he heard a car door slam outside. He looked to the clock and noticed it was 6:30. He got to his feet and grabbed one of his cardigans and slung it on to cover up his arm.

He made his way down the stairs and sat on the couch, waiting for Aaron and Jack to come in.

Hotch unlocked the door and stepped inside, Jack at his heels. He looked into the living room and saw Spencer sitting on the couch, smiling up at him.

"Feeling better?" Hotch asked as he slipped of his shoes and walked into the living room.

Spencer nodded and continued smiling, "Much."

Hotch smiled and kissed Spencer on the forehead as he began undoing his tie, "I'm going to change and I'll be right back down. Can you handle Jack for just a few minutes?" Hotch asked as he started to turn.

Spencer nodded, "don't worry, it was a one-time thing, I am confident it won't happen again."

Hotch smiled and headed towards the stairs. He wanted to trust Spencer, but he knew Spencer couldn't trust himself.

"Are you okay now, Spencer?" Jack asked as he sat down next to him.

"I feel great, buddy," Spencer smiled at the boy, "Sorry for earlier, that won't happen again."

Jack smiled and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. Spencer had flipped on the TV for show, but nothing worth watching had been on. Jack found a Batman cartoon and settled in next to Spencer, leaning his head on the man's shoulder.

Hotch came down stairs and saw his son curled up next to his lover on the couch. It was a beautiful sight. Hotch picked up his phone and walked into his study.

"Dr. Ross? Hello, this is Agent Hotchner," Hotch said into his phone.

"Ah, yes, Agent Hotchner. How is Spencer doing?" the doctor asked in response.

"Better now, but this morning we had an issue. He suddenly got angry and yelled at my son, but a moment later broke down crying," Hotch shifted as he told the doctor the events of the day.

"Is this the first time anything like this has happened?"

"To this extent, yes. There have been minor cases, but nothing like this."

"I see. And how is he now?"

"Perfectly fine, he seems very relaxed and in good-spirits compared to when I left earlier today."

"Hmm, Aaron?" the doctor seemed concerned and he had never called Hotch by his first name before, "how long was Spencer out of your sight?"

"About 8 hours," Hotch wasn't sure what the doctor was getting at.

"Do you know of any place near your home where Spencer could have gotten ahold of any drugs?" the doctor asked.

"No! Of course not! We live in a very respectable neighborhood. I trust Spencer, and I do not believe he would do that!" Hotch was offended the doctor would even think of asking such a question.

"Calm down, agent. I'm not accusing him of anything, I am just saying relaxation and euphoria are two symptoms of a dilaudid high," the doctor tried to calm Hotch.

"Sorry, Doctor. I understand. But I can assure you Spencer has no access to drugs here."

"I have to ask these questions to ensure the safety and well-being of my patient. Sorry if I offended you, agent," the doctor replied calmly.

"No harm done. But I promise I will keep an eye on him, doctor, and update you on any more changes," Hotch replied flatly.

"Thank you, Agent. Have a nice evening," the doctor said with a smile in his voice.

"You as well, doctor," Hotch hung up the phone then dialed a new number.

88888888888888888888888

"Whatchya boys doing?" Hotch asked as he slumped down on the couch next to couch.

"Watching Scooby Doo!" Jack replied excitedly.

Hotch smiled at his son then looked to Spencer who seemed very relaxed and in a different world.

"Spencer?" Hotch tried to get the young man's attention.

"Yes?" Spencer replied calmly. He had long ago mastered his speech and communication while being on a high. The obvious physical evidence, however, he didn't have much control over.

"So how did you spend your day today?" Hotch asked.

"I took a nap then I went for a walk," Spencer replied.

"How far did you walk?" Hotch asked, his interest peaking.

"I was gone for about 3 hours, I got lost," Spencer chuckled.

"Glad you found your way back," Hotch grabbed Spencer's hand in his. Spencer returned the grasp gently.

"Daddy? What are we having for supper?" Jack asked, looking up at his father.

"It's a surprise," Hotch smiled. Jack pouted and slumped back down into the couch.

The three sat together with nothing but the sounds of the television breaking the silence that held them.

The silence was broken by the doorbell ringing.

"I got it," Hotch said as he got up.

He came back to the living room moments later and set a large box of pizza on the coffee table.

"Dinner is served," Hotch mused as he opened the box to reveal Jack's favorite pizza; sausage.

Jack squealed and grabbed a piece, dripping sauce down his face. Hotch chuckled and tossed a roll of paper towels at his son. He sat back down and enjoyed their dinner as well. Hotch looked over at Spencer and noticed he wasn't eating.

"Spencer? Aren't you going to eat?" Hotch asked, concern in his voice.

"I had a lot for lunch, I'm not hungry," Spencer waved Hotch off.

Hotch shrugged and went back to his pizza.

88888888888888888888

"Are you feeling well?" Hotch asked as he came out of the bathroom that night to find Spencer lying on their bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Perfect," Spencer sighed longingly as he continued to stare at the ceiling.

Hotch tilted his head and walked over to Spencer, "Why are you still wearing your sweater?"

"I'm cold," Spencer replied quickly.

"It's 76 in here," Hotch raised his brow, "and you're sweating."

"It's comfortable," Spencer shrugged.

"Take it off," Hotch demanded.

"No," Spencer replied flatly.

"Spencer," Hotch warned.

Spencer just stared at the ceiling in response. Hotch swooped down and lifted the man off the bed.

"Aaron, get off!" Spencer fought as Hotch grabbed him and tried prying off his cardigan. But Hotch was stronger; he finally managed to pull Spencer's sweater off of him and threw it across the room.

Hotch grabbed Spencer's arms and held them out in front of him. On his right arm, he noticed his scratches he had inflicted on himself had faded a little since they removed the bandages 3 days prior.

Hotch then examined the left arm and gasped.

"Spencer…" Hotch whispered as he dropped the younger man's arms and slowly backed up.

Spencer bit his lip and stared at the older man, still relaxed but unavoidably upset.

"Where…?" Hotch breathed as he continued to stare at Spencer.

Spencer stayed silent.

"Where did you get it, Spencer?" Hotch was getting angry.

Silence.

"Spencer. Where did you get the dilaudid?" Hotch asked firmly.

Silence.

"Spencer! Answer me! Where did you get that fucking drug?" Hotch practically screamed at Spencer.

Spencer shrugged, "Down the street a ways."

Hotch knew exactly what part of town Spencer was referring to. He'd investigate there later.

"Where is the rest of the drug Spencer?" Hotch asked, trying to contain himself once more.

Silence.

"You didn't use it all…?" Hotch asked, warningly and hopefully.

Spencer shook his head.

"Then where is it?"

Spencer shrugged.

Hotch took off through the room and began slamming open drawers and digging through clothes. He tore through the closet and dug through boxes. Hotch found Spencer's bag lying on top of a few boxes in the closet. He grabbed it and began searching it. Empty. Then, he felt a lump in the bag. But where was the zipper?

Hotch searched the bag, frantically searching for a secret pocket. He sighed and grabbed a pair of scissors he kept on the dresser in the closet. He ripped through the bag and watched as a syringe and a bottle of medicine fell to the floor.

Spencer sprung for the items, but was quickly knocked out of the way by Hotch.

"I LIED FOR YOU! I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU! YOU GOT HIGH IN MY HOUSE, IN FRONT OF MY CHILD?" Hotch was fuming as he shook the two disgusting items in front of Spencer.

Spencer just stood there, staring at Hotch, his fists shaking at his sides. Hotch approached Spencer, still angry. Spencer stood his ground and swung his fist and hit Hotch square in the jaw.


	28. Chapter 28

"I DID IT FOR JACK!" Spencer shouted back at Hotch as he stumbled backwards from Spencer's punch.

"You got high for my son?" Hotch asked in disbelief as he rubbed his face where Spencer's fist had hit him.

"I'm becoming my father," Spencer said, calming down again. The drug did that to him; he would be violent for a split moment then calm once again.

"No you're not. You said yourself, it was a one-time thing," Hotch said, still rubbing his jaw.

"But what if it wasn't?" Spencer's eyes began to water, "What if I hurt your son? I couldn't bear the thought. I… I'm sorry!" Spencer fell to his knees and began sobbing at Hotch's feet.

Hotch kneeled down to where Spencer was in a heap and wrapped his arm around the younger man, "That fear you have of Jack getting hurt? That's the same fear that you taking this drug fills me with. I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt," Hotch rubbed Spencer's back in soothing circle. He wasn't angry at Spencer; just hurt that the man would defy his trust and that he needed something more than him to make the pain go away.

"But… it makes me feel better," Spencer choked out as he wiped his nose.

"Don't _I_ make you feel better?" Hotch asked, still rubbing Spencer's back.

Spencer nodded, "of course. But when you're gone…" Spencer turned away.

"Even when I'm not home, I'm always thinking about you and Jack. Spencer, you have to understand; in my line of work a lot of the victims were once drug abusers. I can't bear the thought of you being one of those people," Hotch said, his voice threatening to break.

"Well I can't bear the thought of hurting Jack… Maybe I should go back home," Spencer said as his voice cracked.

"You are home, Spencer," Hotch mused, wrapping his arms around Spencer.

"You know what I mean," Spencer choked.

Hotch nodded, "I do, but you know as well as I that I won't let that happen. Despite what you believe, you don't belong there, Spencer."

"After scratching my arm to the point of mutilation, telling you my childhood horror stories, making myself vomit, getting wasted, yelling at your son, and shooting up drugs, you still don't believe I'm crazy?" Spencer asked in disbelief.

"You're NOT crazy, just misguided and troubled. After Haley died, you don't think I had my own share of problems? I couldn't function without the help of alcohol in my system. I'd drink before work, on my breaks, after work; it was an issue, Spencer. It made me feel better but I noticed how neglectful I was towards Jack, how it affected my behavior towards my team. I got help, Spencer. I needed to learn how to handle the pain on my own without depending on such a harmful substance. If I can break my alcoholism, then you can break your drug addiction," Hotch sat back and explained his experience to Spencer as the younger man looked on with surprise and understanding.

"But what if I can't?" Spencer asked innocently, still fighting tears.

"Stop saying you can't. If you haven't tried, you won't know. You've been clean for 4 years, but only because they kept you under supervision. You need to learn to stand on your own with the temptations around you," Hotch said reassuringly.

Spencer stared at his hands, his eyes slowly moving up his arm and resting on the underside of his elbow. He stared long and hard at the injection sight. He loved the feeling the drug gave him, but he knew the truth about drugs. He saw the pain in his mom and Hotch's eyes as they begged him to stop it.

"But what if I hurt Jack?" Spencer croaked.

"You won't," Hotch shook his head, "Stop doubting yourself Spencer, I love you, why can't you love yourself?" Hotch asked as he got to his feet and held his hand out to Spencer to lift him up. Spencer grabbed Hotch's hand and pulled himself to his feet. Hotch grabbed the syringe and bottle and walked to the bathroom. He tossed the items in the toilet and flushed them down.

"I know this is going to be hard for you, Spencer. I'm calling my friend who is a cop in the area of town you were in today. He'll shut down any and all drug activity he sees," Hotch said as he walked back in the bedroom to see Spencer sitting on the bed, "and since you're high I'll retell you all of this tomorrow. Time for bed."

Spencer nodded and pulled off his jeans, leaving him in his t-shirt and boxers. His eyelids drooped as he pulled the blanket off the bed and climbed under it. Hotch took off his pants and settled in next to Spencer, turning the lamp off as he did.

Spencer lied stiff as a board on his half of the bed, making no contact with Hotch, feeling that the man was angry with him despite his words. Hotch felt the tension and reached his arm out and wrapped it around Spencer's shoulder and pulled him over to his side so Spencer's head was resting on his chest.

"I'm not angry, Spencer," Hotch whispered into Spencer's ear.

"But I punched you," Spencer whimpered into Hotch's chest.

"I'm an FBI agent. I've been stabbed multiple times by a serial killer and attacked by many more. One little punch isn't going to do anything," Hotch rubbed Spencer's shoulder up and down.

Spencer nodded and nestled his head deeper into Hotch's head, closing his eyes. He loved the feeling of Hotch holding him close no matter how messed up he felt. Hotch felt Spencer's breathing become slow and steady against him. He looked down at him and saw he was fast asleep. Hotch smiled and placed a kiss on Spencer's forehead.

8888888888888888888888888

"I have to go to work, Spencer. But I'll call you every hour if I can to check on you. Will has the day off so he's taking Jack and Henry to the zoo later today, and he invited you to join them," Hotch called into the bedroom as he was standing in front of the mirror tying his tie. Hotch walked out into the bedroom to see Spencer sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Sounds fun," Spencer smiled and nodded. His high had worn off overnight and he was feeling much better. He remembered everything that Hotch told him and he remembered punching Hotch. Hotch assured him it was okay and that he didn't blame him for anything.

"He'll be by to pick you guys up around 's 7:20 now," Hotch said, looking at his watch. He threw on his suit jacket and slipped on his shoes, "Do you want me to make you some breakfast or are you not quite hungry yet?"

Spencer shook his head, "I'll eat later. But if you want go ahead and make Jack's oatmeal for him…"

Hotch laughed, Jack had told him all about Spencer's little mishap with the oatmeal, "I'll do that," he smiled as Spencer got off the bed and undressed.

"I'm going to shower. Promise me you won't leave till I'm done," Spencer pleaded as he had one foot in the bathroom.

Hotch nodded, "Hurry up then," he turned and walked down the stairs as Spencer stepped into the shower.

888888888888888888888

Spencer came down the stairs 10 minutes later to find Hotch sitting at the table eating toast.

"I'll make Jack's oatmeal before I leave," Hotch said as Spencer walked into the kitchen. Spencer nodded and sat down across from Hotch. He had poured an extra glass of orange juice for Spencer just like yesterday.

Spencer took a sip of the juice and watched as Hotch ate his toast. Hotch looked up at Spencer and saw him watching him. He smiled and continued chewing. After he swallowed he asked, "Will you be alright for 2 hours before Will gets here?"

Spencer nodded and set down his glass, "We'll be fine. I just won't do anything that requires concentration," Spencer chuckled lightly.

Hotch nodded as he got up to put his plate in the sink. He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out the oatmeal. Spencer watched him as he poured water into a cup and set it in the microwave. While it was heating up, he grabbed a bowl and poured in the oatmeal. After the microwave beeped, Hotch pulled out the cup and poured the water in the bowl. Hotch grabbed a spoon out of the bowl and began stirring up the oatmeal.

"Taking notes?" Hotch chuckled over his shoulder.

Spencer blushed, "Mental notes of course."

Hotch walked over to the table and set down the oatmeal. Spencer studied the finished product and nodded, "I think I can do that," he smiled.

Hotch laughed as he walked around to the table Spencer. He caressed the side of Spencer's face and brushed his wet hair out of his face. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Spencer's lips.

"I'll call you later," Hotch smiled at Spencer as he smiled back at him.

"Love you," Spencer said as Hotch walked to the door.

"I love you too," Hotch smiled back at Spencer as he closed the door behind him.


	29. Chapter 29

"So, have you always been gay or was Aaron the first man in your life?" Will asked casually in his thick Southern accent as they were driving to the zoo.

Spencer chuckled nervously, "Well actually I was sort of… asexual. I didn't find anyone or anything attractive. I guess I was just too focused on surviving I didn't have time to worry about that kind of thing. But when I met Aaron… I knew," Spencer smiled and stared off into space blankly.

Will nodded and continued to look at the road, "I had a friend who was gay, only I didn't _know _he was. He was engaged to be married to a woman. He was a cop like me. The team… they, uh, actually found his dead body in Florida," Will scratched the back of his head uncomfortably.

Spencer turned to Will, "What happened to him?"

Will cleared his throat nervously, "Well, uh, a few homosexual men, some out some not, went missing and bodies turned up. Turns out a kid about your age who had been condemned by his preacher father for being homosexual was having mental breaks and killing men he was having flings with."

Spencer swallowed and turned away from Will. That frightened him a little; what if he became like that?

"Don't worry Spencer, you're not like him," Will shook his head, "You may be unsure of yourself and a little mentally unstable, but you're no killer."

The sides of Spencer's mouth tugged a little bit into an involuntary smile. He was oddly touched by Will' swords.

"So… did Hotch used to be a drunk?" Spencer had been wondering since last night.

Will took a breath and let it out, "Not entirely. It was more of an alcohol dependency. He couldn't go anywhere without a drink first."

"But he still drinks," it wasn't a question, Spencer saw Hotch drinking at Will and JJ's house.

Will nodded, "Very seldom though. Only in social settings, like with the team and he does well with limiting himself only 3 glasses per day is his limit. And he hardly ever gets to that."

"You sure know a lot about him," Spencer thought aloud.

Will shrugged, "Jack and Henry are very close, as you can see," Will threw his hand in the air, gesturing towards the boys playing with action figures in the back seat, "and of course he works with JJ so she tells me a lot."

Spencer nodded, "So I suppose you know all about me."

"As much as JJ knows, I know," Will laughed lightly as he pulled into the zoo parking lot.

After they parked, the boys immediately jumped out and started to run towards the gate.

"Boys! Get back here!" Will shouted, grabbing onto Henry's hand. Jack stopped and turned back, grabbing Spencer's hand.

After they purchased their tickets at the gate, the 4 walked into the zoo.

"Where first, guys?" Will asked the boys.

"Monkeys!" Jack shouted excitedly.

Will and Spencer both laughed as they made their way to the monkeys.

"Daddy, I have to potty," Henry looked up at Will.

"Ok, Jack do you have to go?" Will asked.

Jack shook his head.

"Ok, I'm going to take henry to the restroom and I'll be right back," Will said as he picked up Henry and headed to the bathroom.

Spencer and Jack found a bench not too far from the restroom and waited for Henry and Will to return. Jack yawed and sprawled out on the bench, resting his head on Spencer's lap. Spencer looked down at the boy and smiled wen he noticed he had fallen asleep. He placed a hand on Jack's head, brushing his hair gently.

"Aw, your son is so cute!" a woman pushing a stroller said as she passed Jack and Spencer.

"Oh, he's—" Spencer started but was cut off by the woman.

"Where's his mom?" the woman asked.

"Oh, she died a few years ago," Spencer explained.

"You poor thing. You're much too young to already be a single father,"  
>the woman tsked.<p>

Spencer laughed, "Oh no, I'm not a single father."

"I'd assume not, handsome thing like you," the woman smiled before waving and walking away.

Spencer laughed lightly to himself. That woman had thought Jack was his son. But really, he was his son, Spencer thought to himself. He certainly cared for him enough and never wanted anything to harm him.

"Ready?" Will called as he and Henry walked up to Spencer and Jack, "or is he out?"

"Jack?" Spencer shook the boy out of his slumber.

Jack opened his eyes and blinked a few times, "can we go see the monkeys now?"

Spencer laughed, "Of course, let's go," Jack grabbed his hand and they walked off.

88888888888888888

"Did you have fun at the zoo today, Jack?" Hotch asked as he walked in the door at 7:00.

Jack nodded and ran to his dad, holding up the stuffed koala Spencer had bought him.

"His name's Kenny!" Jack smiled.

"Kenny the Koala! Nice to meet you," Hotch smiled as he mock-bowed to the stuffed animal.

Jack cuddled the koala to his chest and let out a yawn.

"Uh-oh, I think it's time for bed, kiddo," Hotch smiled, ruffling Jack's hair, "did you two eat yet?"

"Jack had a big lunch at the zoo," Spencer shrugged, "are you hungry yet?"

Jack shook his head, "I'm not hungry. But I'm tired," he let out another yawn and his head drooped.

"Come on buddy, time for bed," Hotch swooped Jack up in his arms and carried him up the stairs, Spencer following closely behind.

Spencer stood by the doorframe as Hotch set the already pajama-clad Jack in his bed.

"Goodnight, buddy," Hotch kissed Jack's forehead as the young boy fought to keep his eyes open.

"night Daddy," Jack mumbled, "I love you. Love you too Spencer," Jack quickly added the second part as he caught a glimpse of the man in the doorway.

"Love you too buddy," Hotch said as he got up from the bed.

"Love you," Spencer almost whispered to himself but Hotch heard him and smiled.

Hotch turned out the light and closed the door behind him and Spencer.

"How about you, did you eat supper yet?" Hotch asked as they walked to their room.

Spencer shook his head, "I had a big lunch too. Zoo food, delicious," Spencer smiled as Hotch laughed at him, "Did you eat?"

Hotch shook his head, "No and I'm starving. Let me change and then see what we have to eat," Hotch walked in the bedroom and began taking off his clothes.

Spencer sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Hotch changed out of his work clothes into a t-shirt and pajama pants. Spencer had already changed into pajamas when he and Jack got home around 5.

After he finished changing, Hotch and Spencer walked downstairs into the kitchen and looked through the fridge.

Hotch scoffed, "leftover pizza and a couple of apples. I should probably go shopping…" Hotch shook his head as he removed the pizza, "this will do for tonight."

Spencer went and sat down on the couch as Hotch heated up the pizza. He emerged from the kitchen with two plates of pizza and handed one to Spencer.

Spencer took the plate and set it on the coffee table.

"Not gonna eat?" Hotch asked through a mouthful of pizza.

Spencer shook his head, "not hungry, big lunch remember?"

"And that was at what, noon? 1:00?" Hotch asked, "eat something."

Spencer shook his head again, "No, thanks, I'm fine really."

Hotch gave up and went back to his own pizza as they watched the TV.


	30. Chapter 30

Hotch walked out of the bathroom to find Spencer already curled up in the bed. Hotch smiled lightly and made his way over, lifting the covers and lying down next to him.

Thinking he was asleep, Hotch rolled over and wrapped his arms around Spencer, gently burying his face in the crook of the young man's neck. Hotch chuckled as he felt Spencer's hand grab his own and pull it in closer to him.

"I thought you were asleep," Hotch breathed into Spencer's ear.

Spence shook his head gently, "Can't sleep without you by my side."

Hotch felt his heart soar at that comment and placed a gentle kiss on Spencer's cheek, "Who said anything about sleeping?" Hotch whispered seductively into Spencer's ear.

The sides of Spencer's mouth were stretched into a grin as he heard Hotch's words, "I knew it. You just like me for my body," Spencer giggled as he rolled over.

Hotch laughed and shook his head, "Not true. But of course… it is a nice bonus," Hotch smiled as he devoured Spencer's neck, enjoying the taste of his lover on his lips.

Spencer tilted his head back, allowing Hotch more access. Hotch now had Spencer pinned to the mattress as he began creeping his hands up Spencer's shirt, gently caressing his smooth, hairless skin. Hotch grinned as he felt Spencer beginning to harden underneath him. Gently, Hotch pulled Spencer's shirt up to his neck and pulled it over his head.

Spencer began to unbutton Hotch's shirt but Hotch gently moved his hand away and shook his head, "Tonight, I take care of you," Hotch whispered as he pressed his lips to Spencer's.

"What's the occasion?" Spencer mumbled through their kiss.

"Just to show you what's to love about yourself," Hotch answered.

Spencer smiled and returned Hotch's kiss, submitting to Hotch's every touch and will.

Still kissing Spencer, Hotch slid is hand into Spencer's shorts and began rubbing the younger man's growing erection. He smiled as Spencer moaned beneath him, bucking his hips into Hotch's touch.

Hotch teased Spencer for a while longer, gently stroking him and kissing him. Spencer let out a desperate moan and pulled his mouth away from Hotch's, "please," he whimpered with his eyes closed. Spencer sighed with relief as Hotch pulled down his boxers, allowing his heavy length to spring to life from its prison.

Hotch sat up and removed his own shirt before leaning back into Spencer's kiss. He worked his way down Spencer's thin, pale body, leaving kisses along the way.

Spencer watched Hotch's head disappear as the older man dipped his head and took Spencer fully into his mouth. Causing Spencer to gasp and buck his hips, shoving himself down Hotch's throat. Hotch bobbed his head gently up and down, looking up at Spencer. He smirked as the young man clamped his eyes shut and squirmed beneath his touch. He was just too beautiful for words, Hotch thought to himself.

Hotch popped Spencer out of his mouth and stood up, removing his own shorts. He went over to the nightstand and grabbed a bottle of lube. He poured some on his fingers and gently pushed one digit into Spencer.

Spence tensed up and breathed heavily.

"sh, sh, sh, relax baby," Hotch rubbed Spencer's smooth chest in attempt to calm him.

Spencer relaxed and allowed Hotch to push farther in. he lied back and enjoyed the feeling until Hotch's finger brushed his prostate, causing Reid to gasp loudly.

Hotch added a second finger and stretched Spencer more.

"stop. Just. Do it," Spencer was almost crying as Hotch fucked him with his fingers.

"You ok, baby?" Hotch asked as he saw the tears.

"Feels so damn good!" Spencer panted, urging Hotch to removing his fingers.

Hotch sat up and poured lube onto his prick that was already beginning to leak with precum. He steadied himself and slowly pushed into Spencer, watching him squirm as he entered. Once he was all the way in, he sat back on his haunches and waited for Spencer to adjust.

The feeling of Hotch inside of him was just surreal to Spencer. He breathed heavily, getting accustomed to the very large length that now filled him. Spencer gave Hotch a slight nod signaling he was ready.

Hotch slowly began moving in and out, not wanting to go too fast for Spencer.

"Fuck, yes!" Spencer screamed as Hotch began pounding in and out of him. Spencer grabbed his own cock and began pumping in time with Hotch's thrusts. Hotch pushed Spencer's hand aside and began pumping it for him.

Spencer was experiencing pleasure on all fronts. Hotch watched as Spencer's eyes rolled back in his head and his jaw went slack as he continued thrusting into him.

"Aw, Hell," Hotch bit his lip as he watched Spencer beneath him, his tight walls squeezing his cock.

"A-Almost… there," Spencer panted as Hotch continued pounding into him.

Hotch grabbed Spencer by the sides and pulled him up onto his lap, bouncing him up and down.

"AAARRRON!" Spencer screamed loudly as he shot his seed onto Hotch's chest.

"Aw, fuck," Hotch shut his eyes tight as he felt the burning sensation in his stomach. He looked down at Spencer who was sweating and panting, coming down from his high. The sight sent Hotch over the edge as he spilled deep inside of Spencer.

Hotch placed Spencer back on the bed and collapsed next to him, his breathing ragged.

"Daddy?"

Hotch bolted up. He looked up just as the door was opening. He quickly grabbed the blanket and threw it over his ad Spencer's naked bodies.

"Daddy, are you ok?" Jack asked as he sleepily stumbled into the room.

"Yeah, what's wrong buddy?" Hotch asked, confused.

"I heard screaming. I thought you or Spencer was hurt," Jack wiped his eyes.

Hotch bit his lip to stifle his laughter, "Oh, we're far from hurt, buddy. Sorry if we woke you."

"Why were you screaming?" Jack demanded to know.

"I had a bad dream," Spencer answered, sitting up next to Hotch.

"Oh," Jack nodded, "are you ok now?"

"Yeah. You're dad beat the monster," Spencer smiled at Jack.

"Oh, ok, good," Jack smiled sleepily as he climbed up on the bed to hug his dad and Spencer goodnight.

"Alright, buddy, back to bed," Hotch kissed Jack on the top of his head.

Jack nodded ad went back to his room, closing his father's bedroom door as he left.

Hotch and Spencer turned to each other and looked at one another with smiles across their faces. Hotch's chest began moving up and down as he laughed heartily at what had just occurred. Spencer joined in the laughter and covered his face with his hand in embarrassment.

"Oh my God, I should probably be quiet from now on," Spencer said as he laughed.

Hotch shook his head, "No, I like it when you scream."

"Then you explain this to your 7 year old," Spencer raised an eyebrow at Hotch mockingly.

"Mhmm," Hotch laughed as he kissed Spencer.


	31. Chapter 31

"So your doctor from Bennington's called me at work yesterday and told me we need to get you into a doctor here in town for a check-up. I have an appointment set up for you at 11. I have to go into work and set things up for my team then I'll come pick you and Jack up, ok?" Hotch explained to Spencer as he was getting dressed.

Spencer nodded sleepily from his spot on the bed.

"Ok, I'm going to go make breakfast. You want anything yet?" Hotch asked, kissing Spencer on the forehead.

Spencer shook his head, "No thanks, I'll eat later," he smiled, "But-"

"The oatmeal, got it," Hotch chuckled as he left the room.

Spencer sighed and lied back down on the bed, his stomach burning and his head swimming. He looked over at the clock and saw it was 7:30. He got up and pulled on some clothes before heading downstairs to find Hotch at the stove and Jack sitting at the table.

"You're up early," Spencer ruffled Jack's hair as he sat down next to him.

Jack shrugged and took a bite of the oatmeal Hotch had prepared for him, "I went to bed early," he mumbled through his food.

"Jack, no talking with your mouth full," Hotch pointed the spatula at him sternly but with a light air to his tone.

Jack smiled and clamped his mouth shut as he continued chewing.

Hotch walked over to the table carrying a plate with an omelet on it, "you sure you don't want anything, Spencer?" he asked as he sat down.

Spencer shook his head, "I'm fine, really."

Hotch looked at him for a moment and then began eating. Spencer just sat there, watching the other two eat in front of him.

"Did you have anymore nightmares last night, Spencer?" Jack asked as he finished his oatmeal.

Spencer shook his head, "Your daddy protected me," he smiled across the table at Hotch.

Hotch smiled in return and nodded mock-proudly at Jack.

Jack beamed as he got up to place his bowl in the sink.

"So I'll be back in about 2 and a half hours, so be ready," Hotch said as he set his plate in the sink.

Jack and Spencer nodded as Hotch walked over to them, placing a kiss on the top of Jack's head and kissing Spencer on the lips, "I love you, guys," Hotch smiled as he made his way out the door.

"Can we watch Doctor Who?" Jack pleaded as soon as his father was gone.

Spencer chuckled and shook his head, "Alright, no problem."

Jack cheered and ran into the living room, Spencer following close behind him.

Spencer sat down on the couch and Jack snuggled in next to him as they began watching the show.

88888888888888888888888

"Guys! You ready?" Hotch called into the house as he came in the door.

"Daddy!" Jack ran down the stairs and jumped into his dad's open arms.

"Hey, bud. Where's Spencer?" Hotch smiled at his son, "and what are you wearing?"

"Right here," Spencer laughed as he made his way down the stairs.

"What is this on my son's head?" Hotch shook his head at Spencer.

"It's a fez! Fezes are cool!" Jack shouted as his dad set him down.

Spencer bit his lip and laughed at Hotch's expression of confusion, "Doctor Who," Spencer explained.

"Ahhhh," Hotch said with understanding as Jack began making strange "Vworping" sounds, "What's _that_?"

"I'm the TARDIS! Vworp, Vworp, Vworp," Jack said as he shrunk in on himself, pretending he was disappearing.

Hotch looked up at Spencer with an accusatory look, "You broke me child," he said flatly.

Spencer shook his head, "Nope, I made him better," he laughed as Hotch lightly swatted his arm.

"Come on guys," Hotch chuckled as he ushered Jack through the door.

As they were driving, Jack kept making strange noises and saying things Hotch didn't understand.

"Why did you let him watch that?" Hotch shook his head as he chuckled.

"Why not? Greatest show ever created," Spencer smiled.

Hotch chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"You'll see. We're going to watch it tonight, all together, right Jack?" Spencer called into the backseat.

"Yeah, Daddy! You have to watch it!" Jack said excitedly.

Hotch sighed, "Ok, buddy, if you say so," he shot Spencer a glance who just laughed it off.

8888888888888888888888

"Spencer Reid?" the nurse called into the waiting room.

Spencer, Jack, and Hotch all stood up and followed the nurse into a check-up room.

"Step on the scale, please," the nurse motioned, studying Spencer's body.

Spencer did as he was instructed and watched the nurse's and Hotch's eyes go wide.

The nurse jotted something down before pulling the top of the scale higher to measure Spencer's height, "Stand up straight," she ordered.

Spencer did as he was told, still looking at their faces.

"Mr. Reid… did you know the appropriate weight for a man of your height, 6'1, is 152 pounds?" the nurse asked looking from him to her file.

Spencer shrugged in response, "I've heard it before, I guess."

"Well, you're 130 pounds…" the nurse looked from Spencer to Hotch with concern on her face, "Could you remove your shirt please and sit down?"

Spencer darted his eyes to Hotch and then looked down as he slowly removed his shirt. He sat down and watched as the doctor began prodding his face and stomach, looking closely.

"You seem to be very malnourished. Your eyes are jaundiced and your ribs are sticking out much too far," the nurse shook her head.

"Well he's been in supervised mental health care for 4 years, could that be something?" Hotch asked, folding his arms.

"They would most likely be monitoring his meals and weighing him regularly," the nurse shook her head.

"Well… I broke him of his bulimia about a week ago," Hotch explained.

"How long had he been suffering from it?" the nurse asked.

"About 3 years?" Hotch looked to Spencer for confirmation and received a nod from him.

"Well, this looks like he hasn't even been eating," the nurse explained.

Spencer rubbed his arm and avoided eye contact with both the nurse and Hotch.

"Mr. Reid, when was your last meal?" the nurse asked gently.

"5 days ago," Spencer mumbled.

"What was that?" the nurse leaned in closer.

"5 days ago," Spencer repeated, more clearly this time.

"Spencer…" Hotch tilted his head as he looked at Spencer with not disappointment but hurt and concern.

"I take it you were not aware of this?" the nurse responded.

Hotch shook his head, "I work during the day so I expect him to eat on his own. He's told me he's been eating lunch. Of course I haven't seen him eat breakfast or dinner in the past few days either," Hotch sighed, wiping his face with his hands.

"It's alright, Mr. Hotchner. Anorexics are masters at hiding their issue," the nurse reassured Hotch.

Spencer winced at the word anorexic and shrunk in on himself.

"Let me get the rest of your vitals then I will send in your doctor," the nurse said, placing the stethoscope in her ears.

888888888888888

"Make sure he eats at least 2,000 calories a day, at least two servings from each food group. Of course, you'll have to monitor him and make sure he doesn't vomit later. Force feed him if you must, but it's better if he does it willingly," the doctor spoke to Hotch as they were getting ready to leave.

Hotch nodded, "Thank you doctor."

The doctor nodded and walked back behind the counter.

"Come on, guys," Hotch held out his hand to Jack as he began walking out of the waiting room.

Jack grabbed Hotch's hand and then Spencer's.

Once they were in the car, Hotch turned to Spencer, "Why?"

Spencer remained silent and studied his hands.

"Spencer, why?" Hotch repeated.

Spencer sighed, "If I get fat, I'll be ugly and you'll leave me," Spencer almost whispered.

Hotch stared at Spencer in disbelief, "That is NOT true. Where did you get a crazy idea like that?"

"You fell in love with me because of how skinny and girly my figure was," Spencer responded, still staring at his hands.

Hotch shook his head, "No. I fell in love with you because of you. Your brain, your heart, your smile. I could care less what your body looked like. I want you to be healthy, Spencer," Hotch almost started crying as he stared at Spencer.

Spencer shook his head, "Last night you said my body was a bonus," Spencer bit his lip.

Hotch sighed, "It is. It always will be no matter how skinny or plump you are. It will be _your _body, Spencer. That's what makes it beautiful," he took Spencer's hand in his and held it firmly.

Spencer looked up at Hotch with sadness evident in his eyes, "I'm sorry I can't do anything right," he hung his head.

"Stop that. There is no such thing as doing something right. Everyone does everything differently in their own way according to them," Hotch said firmly.

Spencer nodded and used his free hand to wipe his tears away.

"Come on, let's go get lunch," Hotch said as he started the car.


	32. Chapter 32

"We're not leaving until you finish that entire burger, Spencer," Hotch said firmly as he ate his fries.

Spencer had only taken one bite of his burger since it arrived and spent the rest of the time staring at it.

"Spencer, please," Hotch pleaded as he saw the look in Spencer's eyes.

Spencer slowly picked up his burger and brought it to his mouth. Reluctantly, he took a bite and chewed slowly while staring at Hotch. Hotch nodded in return and kept his eye on Spencer as he ate his fries.

Jack sat and watched the two men stare at each other as they ate. He was enjoying his own chicken nuggets and didn't quite understand what was wrong with Spencer. He knew Spencer wasn't eating but he didn't get why that was so bad. He didn't eat when he was sick or forgot his lunch money.

"Daddy? Why is it a bad thing that Spencer isn't eating?" Jack piped up innocently.

Hotch slowly turned away from Spencer and met Jack's gaze, "Well, when someone doesn't eat, their body doesn't get the nutrients it needs to survive and the stomach acid starts to tear away at your body from the inside out, slowly killing you."

Jack's eyes went wide and he turned to Spencer, "I don't want your stomach to kill you! Please don't die, Spencer!" Jack almost started crying.

"Shhh, Shhh. It's ok buddy," Hotch gently rubbed his hand across Jack's back as he looked up Spencer with pleading eyes.

Spencer bit his lip and looked away, still holding his burger. He looked at the food in his hands with anger and regret. Why had he done this? He was obviously hurting Jack and Hotch. And if his mother found out… Spencer didn't want to think about what she would say.

Slowly, he lifted the burger and took another bite, chewing at a more normal pace this time. In a matter of minutes he had finished off his burger and began in on his fries.

Hotch looked up from consoling Jack and saw Spencer finish his burger and begin his fries. A smile slowly found its way onto Hotch's face as he looked at Spencer eating his food.

Spencer finished his last fry and looked up at Hotch who was still smiling at him. Spencer shyly smiled in return, "Sorry," he mumbled quietly.

Hotch shook his head, "Don't apologize, Spencer," he reached out his hand and took Spencer's in his

Spencer clutched his stomach with his free hand and made a sick face.

"Are you alright?" Hotch asked with concern as Spencer looked like he was going to vomit.

Spencer shook his head and fought the feeling of food lurching in his stomach. He sighed and smiled as the feeling passed.

"That's going to happen for a while, I'm afraid," Hotch shrugged.

Spencer nodded, he knew about eating disorders, no matter how much he denied that he had one.

Hotch paid the bill and the three of them left the diner.

888888888888888888888888

"Spencer? I have something exciting to tell you," Hotch smiled as he sat down on the couch at Spencer's feet as he was lying down.

"hmm?" Spencer asked as he sat up.

Hotch waved the phone he was holding in his hand, "I pulled some strings and your mother is flying down here tonight," Hotch smiled as Spencer's expression became one of shock.

"really?" Spencer asked excitedly.

Hotch nodded, "She'll be here later tonight. We'll have to pick her up around 10. JJ's coming over in a bit to pick up Jack while we're gone."

Spencer nodded. He was still in shock and not comprehending everything. But his mother was coming. _His mother was coming! _Spencer was so excited.

"Her doctor said she can stay for the weekend. I'm taking tomorrow off. We'll take her back to the airport on Monday before I go into work, okay?" Hotch made sure he was clear with Spencer, who was still in shock.

Spencer nodded and smiled, "Thank you, Aaron."

"No problem, babe," Hotch leaned in and kissed Spencer gently on the lips, "I'll go get the guest room ready," Hotch got up and went upstairs, leaving Spencer on the couch smiling like an idiot. He looked over at the clock and saw that it was 5 now. He got up off the couch and went upstairs to help Hotch get the room ready for his mom.

"Is there any safety hazards in here for your mom?" Hotch asked as Spencer walked into the guest room.

Spencer looked up at Hotch and raised a brow, "Aaron, she's schizophrenic not a 4 year old."

"I know, I just wasn't sure if there was anything I needed to be aware of," Hotch said defensively.

Spencer shook his head, "Everything should be fine. She's completely serine until she goes into one of her fits. Then just to be safe keep her away from sharp objects and electrical appliances," Spencer confirmed.

Hotch nodded and began making up the bed. Spencer still stood in the doorway and watched. He began looking around the room, just making sure everything would be suitable for his mother. Nothing seemed out of place or seemed like it would bother his mom. He shrugged and looked down at his feet.

Hotch finished making the bed and looked up at Spencer who was staring blankly at the floor.

"Spencer?" Hotch asked as he walked towards the younger man.

"Hmm?" Spencer shot his head up and met Hotch's gaze.

"You ok?" Hotch asked.

"Oh yeah, great. Just thinking about my mom is all. I'm excited to see her but…" Spencer shrugged and looked back down at the floor.

"You're worried how she'll handle… this," Hotch wrapped his arms around Spencer.

Spencer nodded and rested his head on Hotch's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. She'll love you no matter what," Hotch rubbed Spencer's back as he hugged him.

"How do you know that?" Spencer mumbled into Hotch's sleeve.

"When I talked to her at Bennington's… I could tell she was the kind of woman who would do anything for her son, even if she wasn't capable of it. And that she was the kind of woman who would love her child no matter what. I'm a father and a profiler, Spencer, I know," Hotch explained as Spencer continued resting his head on his shoulder.

Spencer tightened his hold on Hotch and lifted his head to kiss the older man. Hotch smiled and kissed him back.

"I'm going to go make dinner so Jack can eat before JJ gets here," Hotch breathed into Spencer's ear as he still held him.

Spencer made a small whine in protest but finally released Hotch. Hotch just chuckled and grabbed Spencer's hand, holding him close behind him as they descended the stairs.

Jack was sitting at the table playing with his action figures when he saw the two men walk in.

"Hey buddy, you want to go to Henry's again tonight?" Hotch asked as he moved to the freezer.

Jack nodded, "Yeah!" he said with excitement as Spencer sat down across from him.

"Good. Spencer and I have to go pick up Spencer's mom at the airport. Aunt JJ and Uncle Will are going to watch you tonight and they'll drop you off in the morning, ok bud?" Hotch said as he pulled out a frozen pizza.

Jack nodded, "So… if she's your mom… does that make her like… my grandma?" Jack tilted his head up at Spencer.

Spencer blushed, "Well, yes, if I were your dad, yes," he answered.

"But you are my dad, Spencer," Jack smiled up at the man, "You're both my dads," he added looking over at Hotch who was smiling back at him.

Spencer was beaming, he couldn't believe what Jack had said, it filled him with surreal joy.

"Well, if he's your dad, why not call him something besides Spencer?" Hotch teased as he warmed up the oven.

"Well, you're daddy… so Spencer can be… papa," he smiled at the younger of his two fathers.

Hotch and Spencer both laughed. To Spencer, papa was what one would call their grandfather and Hotch thought that it sounded more fit for an older person as well.

"What?" Jack asked innocently.

"Nothing, buddy. Papa sounds perfect," Spencer smiled.

Jack smiled back and then went back to playing with his action figures.

8888888888888888888

"I'll drop him off on my way to work in the morning. Strauss ok with you taking the day off?" JJ asked as she stood in the doorway, her hands resting on Jack's shoulders.

Hotch shrugged and gave a little smirk, "She'll get over it."

JJ smiled and shook her head, "Have a goodnight Hotch, see you in the morning. Bye Spencer!" She called into the house.

Spencer popped his head out from the kitchen and waved at JJ, "Goodnight, JJ," he smiled.

JJ smiled back and waved to the two of them as she whisked Jack off to the car.

Hotch shut the door behind them and turned to Spencer, "Ok. Three hours until we have to pick up your mom. What do you want to do now?" He asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"I have an idea," Spencer teased as he placed a kiss on Hotch cheek.

"Really? And what would that be?" Hotch teased, stroking Spencer's arm.

Spencer began sucking on Hotch's neck as he crept his hands down the older man's back. Hotch let out a throaty growl as he tilted his head back.

"Well, since you were a good boy and ate all your food—AH!—I think a reward is in order," Hotch smirked as he grabbed Spencer's ass and pulled him in closer.

Spencer smiled back at him and kissed him fervently as Hotch swooped him up in his muscular arms and carried him up the stairs.


	33. Chapter 33

Hotch panted heavily as he was sprawled out on the bed with Spencer lying on top of him, gasping for air.

"Holy… shit," Hotch panted out as he stared at the ceiling.

"I concur," Spencer breathily laughed into Hotch's chest, drawing a laugh from the man below him.

Hotch sat up, rolling Spencer off of him, receiving a grunt from the younger man in protest.

"Sorry, babe," Hotch laughed as Spencer glared at him. Hotch got up and went to the bathroom to clean up.

"Shit, did that really go on for an hour and a half?" Spencer exclaimed from the bedroom.

Hotch poked his head out and saw Spencer staring at the clock, "What? Are you serious?" Hotch laughed, "No wonder you came so many times."

"You came more than me, sir," Spencer shouted back with a smirk on his face as he fell back onto the bed.

"Can't help it. You drive me crazy," Hotch growled as he walked back into the bedroom. He crept up on Spencer, who had his arm splayed over his forehead, covering his eyes.

Spencer smirked at Hotch's comment, "Oh really?" he asked without moving his arm.

Hotch leaned close down to Spencer and breathed in his ear, "Really."

Spencer jumped, not realizing Hotch was so close to him. Hotch kissed Spencer's neck then placed a kiss on his lips before going back to the bathroom.

"Mmmhh, tease," Spencer growled as he rolled back over into the pillows.

"Come on, we have to be at the airport in an hour and a half. Get dressed before I claim your body again," Hotch called from the bathroom.

Spencer smirked and got out of the bed, walking over to the bathroom, "Why? Does this," Spencer waved his hand down his body, "turn you on?" he asked with a raised brow and a smirk.

Hotch looked over at him and growled, "Now who's the tease?" he grabbed Spencer by the waist and pulled him in for a kiss, claiming the younger man's lips with his own.

"Hmm, still you," Spencer purred as Hotch's hand wandered down his backside and firmly grabbed his ass.

"Go get dressed," Hotch whispered as he kissed Spencer's neck.

Spencer pouted but did as he was told, leaving Hotch alone in the bathroom.

30 minutes later, both men were dressed and cleaned up.

"We still have an hour, Hotch," Spencer whined as Hotch led him out the door.

"Oh hush and get in the car," Hotch laughed as he got in the driver's seat.

Spencer shook his head with a smile and got in.

Hotch started the car and backed out the driveway. It was almost dark out and Spencer still wasn't familiar with the neighborhood. He looked around trying to mentally map everything like he always did.

They had been driving for about 10 minutes when Spencer noticed Hotch had stopped the car. Hotch got out and leaned in through the window, "ya coming?" he asked Spencer.

"Where are we?" Spencer asked, confused as he got out of the car and walked with Hotch into a store.

Hotch nodded his head for Spencer to follow him as he grabbed his hand, "I sort of called ahead," Hotch said as they walked up to a flower counter at the side of the store.

A Hispanic man behind the counter looked up at Hotch and Spencer, "How may I help you gentlemen?"

"Pick up for Hotchner," Hotch responded.

"Ahh yes," the man smiled, disappearing into the back. He quickly emerged holding not one, but two bouquets of beautiful flowers.

Hotch took the flowers and paid the man, "thank you," he smiled as he took Spencer's hand and exited the store with him.

Spencer looked at Hotch with curiosity as they got in the car.

"These," Hotch handed Spencer one of the bouquets, "are for your mom," Hotch sat back and watched as Spencer began to smile.

"Thank you, Aaron," Spencer threw an arm around Hotch's shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"And these," Hotch held up the other bouquet and handed it to Spencer, "are for you."

Spencer just looked at Hotch, tears filling up in his eyes, "Thank you," he finally managed to get out as Hotch placed a kiss on the younger man's cheek.

"You're welcome," Hotch smiled as he started the car.

888888888888888888

"Do you see her yet?" Spencer asked excitedly as he stood on his tippy toes, scanning the crowd of people before him.

Hotch laughed and shook his head, "No, not yet. And would you quit that? You are 6 foot 2!" Hotch placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder, forcing him back to the ground.

Spencer laughed and shook his head, "sorry, I'm just excited."

"I understand," Hotch nodded and smiled.

"There she is!" Spencer shouted and pointed to a slender blonde figure in the crowd, "Mom!" Spencer waved frantically trying to get her attention.

"Spencer, there has to be hundreds of 'moms' here," Hotch chuckled, "Diana!" he called out.

The woman looked up and saw the two men waving in her direction. Quickly, she made her way through the crowd and latched onto her son.

"Spencer," she held him tightly around the waist.

"Hey, mom," Spencer buried his face in his mom's hair. When she finally pulled away, Spencer took the flowers from Hotch and handed them over to his mom, "these are for you."

Diana smiled in response, "oh thank you, Spencer!" she said happily, hugging her son again. She looked around for a moment before looking back at her son, "can we leave? I don't like all these people staring at me," Diana looked shiftily around the airport at the sea of people.

Spencer looked around too. As usual, nobody was even looking at his mom, "ok, mom. We can go," he smiled as he took her hand.

88888888888888888888

"So I got your letter, Spencer," Diana said as she sat on the couch in Hotch's living room. Spencer sat beside her and Hotch sat on a recliner.

Spencer nodded. He managed to finish it after his incident with Jack and mailed it earlier in the week.

"You're… a couple," Diana said flatly looking from Spencer to Hotch.

Spencer nodded, "yes, and I love him dearly, mom," Spencer held his mother's hand.

"How old are you?" Diana's eyes narrowed as she looked at Hotch.

Hotch cleared his throat, "Uh, 44 ma'am," he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably as he looked at the woman.

"You know, you're almost old enough to be MY husband," Diana said, still staring at Hotch.

Hotch nodded, "yes, I understand that," he waited for her to respond.

Diana just looked at Hotch for a few long minutes before turning to Spencer, "and you're sure about this?" she asked with worry in her eyes.

Spencer nodded, "more sure than I have ever been, mom," he squeezed her hand. Hotch looked on and smiled at the sight.

Diana nodded and threw her arms around Spencer's neck.

The three sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Spencer stood up, "I need to use the bathroom," and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

"Are you with him for his looks?" Diana suddenly shot at Hotch.

"What? No. he's attractive but that's not all to like about him," Hotch defended himself.

"You're not going to hurt him, are you?" Diana raised a brow.

Hotch shook his head, "That's the last thing I'd do to Spencer. In the week we've been together, I cured him of bulimia, anorexia, got him to be more self-confident and forget his horrible past and be comfortable with who he is. I want what's best for him, and not to sound vain but I think that's me," Hotch reeled off to the woman in front of him.

"Me too," Diana nodded.

Hotch stared back at her, "what?"

"Me too," Diana repeated, "I also think you are what's best for him. Thank you for getting him out of Bennington's. He doesn't belong there," Diana smiled at Hotch.

Hotch nodded to her, "Of course. You're welcome."

"In the letter… Spencer mentioned you had… a son?" Diana looked around the living room.

"Yes, ma'am. He's 7. He's staying with a coworker and her young son tonight," Hotch nodded.

Diana nodded, "haven't been around children since Spencer was a boy. Of course Spencer was different than most kids," Diana mused as she looked off around the room.

Hotch nodded, "My boy's bright. But nothing like I imagine Spencer was."

Diana nodded, "Oh he'd have to be incredible to match Spencer," she shook her head with a smile.

Hotch smiled back, "well he is incredible. I think at least."

Spencer emerged back into the living room to see his mom and Hotch smiling at each other.

"I hope this is a good sign," he teased as he sat down next to his mom.

Diana nodded, "it's a very good sign."


	34. Chapter 34

"Morning, Hotch!" JJ said excitedly as Hotch opened the door for her and Jack.

"Morning, JJ. Hey buddy!" Hotch gave Jack a hug as he walked in, "Spencer's in the living room if you want to go see him."

Jack nodded and ran into the living room.

"Thanks for letting him stay over last night," Hotch turned to JJ as Jack disappeared.

"No problem, anytime. So how'd it go at the airport?" JJ asked.

"Great. We found his mom, brought her home and now she's still asleep upstairs," Hotch shrugged, "She took our relationship pretty well. Took a little convincing but it worked out."

"That's great, Hotch," JJ smiled, "How's Spencer doing?"

"He's eating again. He hasn't been puking up his food. He hasn't been on drugs. He hasn't yelled at Jack. And he hasn't broken down in the middle of sex again. I'd say he's doing pretty well," Hotch smiled at JJ.

JJ laughed at the "sex" comment and shook her head, "I'm glad to hear that. Mind if I update the team?"

"Go ahead. But, you can leave out the 'sex' part," Hotch chuckled lightly.

"of course," JJ smiled as she gently touched Hotch's shoulder, "Have a great day, Hotch. See you later."

"Keep the team in line for me," Hotch smiled as JJ made her way down the walk.

JJ waved back at Hotch and smiled before getting in her car.

Hotch closed the door and walked into the living room to find Jack cuddled on the couch with Spencer.

"Hey guys," Hotch smiled as he sat down next to Jack, "you have fun last night, Jack?"

Jack nodded, "We watched a movie then went to bed. I was tired!"

Hotch smiled and smoothed Jack's hair, "We were too. We got home pretty late after picking up Spencer's mom."

"Is she here?" Jack looked up at his dad.

"She's still sleeping, but yes," Hotch smiled.

"Will I get to meet her?" Jack asked curiously.

"When she's awake, yes," Hotch lightly smiled.

Jack took this as an acceptable answer and settled down against Spencer's side.

"Spencer?" there was a frantic cry from upstairs. Spencer quickly got to his feet and made his way to the stairs.

"Mom?" he called as he ran up the stairs. Hotch got up and followed him quickly.

"Spencer?" Diana called again.

"Mom?" Spencer flung open the quest room door and saw his mom pacing the room back and forth.

"Spencer!" she flung her arms around her son and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

Spencer hugged her back and rubbed her back soothingly.

Hotch and Jack wandered in and saw the two embracing. Hotch gently grabbed Jack by the shoulder and started to turn him around when Spencer and his mother pulled apart from their embrace.

"I just couldn't find you!" Diana said, stroking her son's face.

"It's alright mom, I'm here," Spencer smiled, placing his hand over his mother's.

"And who is this?" Diana smiled as she saw Jack.

"Mom, this is Jack. Aaron's son," Spencer smiled at the young boy.

Diana walked forward and held her hand out to Jack, "I'm Spencer's mom," she smiled.

Jack took her hand and shook it excitedly, "So… are you my new grandma?" he chirped.

Diana smiled, "yes."

Spencer stared at his mother wide eyed. He was shocked, pleasantly, but still shocked. Diana looked up at Spencer and smiled when she met his gaze. She turned to Hotch and gave him the same smile.

"Who wants to go out for breakfast?" Hotch asked as he began putting on his shoes.

"Me!" Jack cheered as he ran to the door.

"Hold on, bud!" Hotch laughed as his son ran off.

"Did you remember your meds this morning, mom?" Spencer shot a look at his mother.

Diana nodded, "of course, dear."

"Ok…" Spencer said skeptically as he went to get his shoes.

The odd, yet beautiful family sat at a booth at the restaurant together as they ate breakfast. Jack was content as he dug into his clown face pancakes and looked on at his dads eating their meals. Jack turned to his left and watched his new grandmother staring at her plate.

"Mom, eat," Spencer pleaded as he sat his fork down.

Diana looked up at her son and held his gaze. She nodded and picked up her fork and took a bite.

Spencer smiled and picked up his fork again. Hotch smiled and placed his hand on Spencer's free one. He was so proud of Spencer and how far he had come in just this week. Hotch just hoped that he could keep it up and not fall back into his old ways. But Hotch saw in Spencer's eyes when he looked at his mother that he couldn't hurt her and he would do anything in his power to protect her.

"Daddy?" Jack tilted his head at Hotch, "When are you and Spencer getting married?"

Spencer blushed and bent his face over his plate. Hotch laughed and squeezed Spencer's hand while he smiled at Jack.

Diana perked her head up and looked at her son. Spencer sensed her gaze and looked back to his mother smiling at him, bigger and truer than she ever had. Spencer could tell his mother could see through her condition at this moment and was genuinely happy and proud of him.

_**Epilogue**_

"Jack! Hurry up, bud!" Hotch called up the stairs to his son. Hotch smiled as he heard a door shut and saw his 12 year old son emerge at the top of the stairs.

"Coming, Dad!" Jack called as he made his way down the stairs.

When Jack came to his side, Hotch straightened his tie and smoothed his hair. Jack made a face and messed his hair again, causing his father to laugh.

"Come on, everyone's waiting for us," Hotch said as he opened the door and ushered his son to the car.

The two got in the car and drove off.

"Dad, relax!" Jack chuckled as his father gripped the steering wheel nervously, his knuckles turning white.

"Sorry bud," Hotch chuckled as he took a deep breath.

After about 5 minutes, Hotch pulled up to the curb and parked.

"Alright dad, remember; breathe!" Jack said as he smoothed his father's jacket around his shoulders.

Hotch nodded and placed his hand on his son's cheek, "Thanks bud," he smiled.

Jack smiled back, "Come on," he got out of the car and made his way around the car to his dad and waited for him to get out.

Together they walked up to the building.

"Hotch! You're late, man!" Morgan shouted from the top of the steps.

"Sorry, my fault," Jack raised a hand and smiled at Morgan.

"Well, you're here now," Morgan said, patting Jack on the back as the Hotchners reached him, "you better get in there, Hotch, Rossi's waiting for you."

Hotch nodded and ran past Morgan and Jack, waving as he passed.

"Come on, kid," Morgan wrapped his arm around Jack's shoulder as they walked through the door.

Jack and Morgan made their way up and stood next to Rossi.

"You're late kid," Rossi shook his head at Jack.

"Fashionably, just as the best taught me, Uncle Dave," Jack said as he straightened out his jacket.

Rossi chuckled and patted jack on the back, "You excited?"

"Of course!" Jack whispered back as he looked around the crowded room, stopping when he caught his father's eye. He smiled proudly at his dad until the music began to play.

The entire room turned to the rear and watched as an 8 year old Henry walked in front of a blonde woman in a beautiful dress walked through the center of the room. Her arm was linked with that of a tall, thin, and handsome young man. Jack looked over to his father and saw him gulp and shift before smiling bigger than Jack had ever seen.

As the blonde woman and the young man reached Hotch, the woman kissed the young man on the cheek before walking off to the side.

The young man stood proudly next to Hotch and smiled at him just as wide as Hotch was.

Jack stared at the two men admiringly, his heart soaring. He wasn't listening to the words being said by the other man standing by his dad and the younger man.

Jack was pulled out of his dreamlike state as his father said "I do," and kissed the younger man.

The entire room stood up and clapped loudly as Hotch held Spencer in his arms, kissing him lovingly.

Jack clapped and cheered loudly as his dads kissed. Finally, Jack was seeing what he had been hoping for, for 5 years.

Hotch turned to his son and held out his arm. Jack ran towards his dads and through one arm around Hotch and the other around Spencer. The entire crowd clapped and cheered for them.

"This is one for the books," Rossi smiled to Morgan.

"First gay marriage in Virginia, man," Morgan smiled as he clapped.

"Psh," Rossi scoffed, "First marriage between two men who love each other. It's marriage, Derek."

Morgan chuckled and patted Rossi on the back.

"Worth the wait?" Rossi called to Jack.

Jack walked over to Rossi, "of course. Shame we weren't considered DC residents, or else this would've happened a while ago."

"Nah, the wait made it more special," Rossi chuckled as he pulled Jack in for a hug, "You're dads are now an important part of history."

Jack shrugged, "They're already important."

Jack walked alongside his Uncle Dave as they followed the crowd to the reception hall.

"How's Papa doing at the BAU?" Jack asked Rossi.

"He's doing great! I don't know how we ever got along without that brain of his. How's he doing at home?" Rossi asked.

"He hasn't had any sort of incident in a year," Jack replied proudly, "his scars are almost completely healed. The doctor said it's a miracle his back scars are gone since they were inflicted so early on."

Rossi nodded; he remember the first time he saw Spencer's old abuse scars inflicted on him by his father. He never thought they'd disappear, but they did.

"No nightmares?" Rossi asked curiously.

Jack shook his head, "Not that I know of. I sleep with headphones in," Jack made a face to let Rossi know exactly what he meant.

Rossi roared with laughter and patted his "nephew" on the back, "sounds like you're the one with the nightmares."

Jack laughed along with Rossi, "Every kid feels that way about their parents," Jack shrugged.

"Jack!" Spencer called.

"Coming, Papa!" Jack called back. He turned to Rossi who nodded to him, telling him to go.

Jack ran up to Spencer and threw his arms around him.

"Guess what we're doing tomorrow?" Spencer asked Jack.

Jack pulled back from Spencer and looked at his curiously.

"A date at the court house," Spencer smiled as realization came across Jack's face and he hugged him tighter.

Jack pulled back and admired his second father. Although he was only 27, he had permanent dark circles under his eyes and worry lines on his forehead. But he wore them well, Jack thought. This man he called "Papa" for 5 years had been to hell and back. He was weak and fragile when he first met him but thanks to Jack's father, he was a new person. Jack learned from Spencer at an early age that nobody is perfect and everyone has their own struggles but with the right support and determination, anyone can escape the shackles of old scars. Jack admired nobody more than he did Spencer Reid Hotchner.


End file.
